My Time in Honduras

It's not goodbye, it's until later...

2011-04-17T23:57:00.000-07:00

I am officially home, safe and sound. I don't have pneumonia, and if I did it already passed. Even my head lice was taken care of before I stepped off the plane. So I am intact, the only marks left on me were those imprints on my heart.

I'll start from the beginning of my last few days. As expected, there were 20 + people in my house on Saturday. The three families brought over all the food to make rice and chicken and salad. I felt so special, because for them to go slightly above their means to send me off meant so much. We talked and took pictures, walked to the store for some ice cream (my treat) and just enjoyed each others company. Some of them gave me little notes and gifts and I made sure not to open them because otherwise my resolve to not cry might not have stood strong. It was a smart choice, because each of them said such nice things that made me miss everything even though I was still there. I promised I would come and say my last goodbye's Monday after school, so I was fine with the knowledge that I would see them all again. Waldy, Lucia, Nelson and Geni spent the night, I did a piojo wash on the girls, taught them how to use a shower and shampoo their hair, and played tickle monster all night long. It was so much fun. I love Waldy. I say it all the time but something about her stole my heart. I miss her. But back to the moment. Sunday I got up semi early in order to go with the Hogar kids to watch them being baptized. 8 of the older kids each took a turn being dipped under the water, washed clean and given a new start in life. It was really powerful to watch, especially for the kids to whom it meant a lot. When it was Rosa's turn, I was crying, just because I wanted so much for her to be given a second chance and a clean slate. The rest of the day was spent at the river, swimming and laughing, eating and having fun. We went back to the Hogar, watched a movie and I said goodbye as late as possible.

On Monday I felt really strongly how short my time was. With only two days left, the help I felt I could give was minimal, so mostly I tried to stay with the kids as much as possible. During school I took time to write letters, so that I could leave a little bit of me with each and every one of them. After school, the Hogar had a really really nice going away party for me. The tias had decorated with a sign that said "gracias Kyla por su amor" and when I walked up I felt like crying. The kids danced and we ate, and then the power went out half way through the program. Typical Honduras, but I didn't even mind. I was in the company of my favorite people, people I love and all was good. Then came time for the kids to say something to me, little thank you's, and then my turn to say something to them. I completely choked up, and it took all I had not to cry. I handed out bracelets and key chains I had bought, just something to show how much they all mean to me, though nothing I could buy would ever truly show that. Around 3, David agreed to take me back up the mountain so that I could say my first real, final goodbye's. And the final goodbye's are the worst. I hiked up to Geni's house with the 4 older girls and Paola, and we spent a few hours talking and laughing. They again made a chicken for me for dinner, and brought up some Soda. David wanted to pick us up at 5, so I was worried about being on time, but they kept telling me to wait a little longer. Every time I would get up to leave I would start tearing up, and when the time finally came, the tears didn't stop. Doña Lucia, who I call Abuela, gave me a hug and told me she considered me one of her own, and then the kids and aunts walked me down to the road where I had to say goodbye to everyone who went to the highschool. My friends. Geni, Alan, Brenda, Nelson, and finally Denia. Denia and I were both crying. She is an amazing, remarkable girl. David drove off and I waved and then I was gone. But not gone forever. Only for now.

After that, I just wanted to skip Tuesday all together. My official last day. But that wasn't to be done. Tuesday passed. The second graders tied me up with string so that I couldn't leave, and then eventually set me free. I almost preferred staying tied up. And when the end of the day came, more tears flowed again, as I said goodbye to Diana, Arturo, Walter, Wilmer, Eloisa, Nayeli, Waldy and everyone really. And my last stop was the Hogar, where I had time to eat with them, take a picture, and once again more goodbye's. But like Danelia said to me, she wouldn't say goodbye, only until later. Because I will be back. Cherlin was crying as I walked out the gate, and Rosa as well, but I was definitely the worst. Just many tears, which continued the whole car ride back, even as I got my stuff for the bus. Then Goodbye's to Anna, Zoe and David and it was all the same. And then I was on the bus, watching the faces of the people I loved pass until I fell asleep. I think I cried more, not because I wouldn't see them again, but because it will never quite be the same. I'll most likely never be there again for 6 months, and though I'll visit it will be shorter. But it's okay. I always knew there would be a 'see you later'. And I did better than I thought I would honestly.

So now I'm home and settling back in. It's crazy how quickly you can fall back into old routines. Driving, having a cell phone, meeting with friends, fighting with sisters... everything. Though it's not quite the same. I was in a slight daze when I got home. Some friends were at the house to meet me, which was really nice. Some things just seem completely surreal. The perfectly paved roads, the lack of trash, being home in general with everything that I have. I miss the Spanish language. I'm afraid I'll loose everything I've learned. And I miss the kids of course. I was talking to Cherlin on facebook (yes they have facebook), and she used my nickname, Moi, and I almost cried. But it's ok. I can talk to them. And though I miss them I'll be back.

People have asked me what I learned from my experience. What mark has it left on me? My truthful answer is that I have no idea. I wish I could impart some well thought out wisdom to the rest of the world, combine my experience into a series of sayings. I can't honestly say that my time there has made me appreciate my life here more, because I found some things in Honduras to be much better. That isn't mainly what I learned. I can't say what impact this has made on my life, or how it has changed it. Perhaps it is too early to tell, perhaps I don't feel changed, only because I can't imagine it being another way. But the experience has undoubtedly shaped a good part of what I will do in my future. I have formed relationships that can not be broken. As I go on and experience more here, I think my time in Honduras will show itself more and more through me. I know there is another world than the middle class american one that I function in. I have seen what amazing things people can do, but I've also been given things to think about. Cultural differences, child raising techniques, economic imbalance etc etc. The list goes on and on but often times these things don't have answers. That Honduras has impacted me is unquestionable, how much so and to what extent is yet to be seen.

Thank you to everyone who has kept in touch with my journey. I don't know if you will all be satisfied with it's ending, but perhaps that's the beauty of it. It isn't an ending, only a beginning to a life that will hopefully lead me to answers and action. All we can do in this world is try, and I will give all I can to try to help those I know, and many more if possible. So thank you again, but I won't say goodbye. So until later... :)

Coming to an end

2011-04-08T20:28:00.000-07:00

Some of you may want to stop reading now and turn back, because I'm giving you fair warning that most of my following commentary will be me complaining about the upcoming trip home and goodbye's that will be said. I have spent the last few days mentally and physically preparing myself for my trip home.

But to put that moment off a tad, the time with the group was absolutely awesome. They spent the rest of the week working on the water project which they finished and did an awesome job with!!! Thank you so much to everyone who sacrificed their spring break to work here and hang out with the kids. Now the jungle school finally has running water regularly for the kitchen and for other necessary utilities (bathrooms) in the school. The group was great, worked for the most part without complaint, and worked well with the kids. We had a little fun as well, going to Cayos Cochinos, where I got to join in, as well as hanging at the river. If you would like to hear more about the groups adventures check out their blog at http://hhkspring2011.blogspot.com . I think most everyone had a good time, and hopefully we'll have some people returning again next year. I hear rumors my sister may want to lead the trip... who knows? Eloisa did indeed recover and I was happy to have taken her to the doctors. When the time for goodbye's came to be said, their was almost not a dry eye in the entire bus. The hogar put on a really nice little going away party, and the bus drove off on a river of tears. Eye somehow managed to avoid joining in, but it only made me even more nervous for my own turn coming up. I'm going to be a reck, a complete mess.

So since the group has left it's been kind of back to the old schedule. School in the morning, Hogar in the afternoon. I'm enjoying the time with the kids but I feel as if the dread of leaving is taking over. It's not that I'm not looking forward to going home at all, because I am a little, it's more that I can't say goodbye. The only thing that makes it easier is that I know I'll be back. Hopefully sooner rather than later. I think I must be a little stressed, because I am now sick. I have a nice whooping cough thats lasted for three weeks, and finally yesterday I decided to try to get some medicine. Then today my body up and decided to get another kind of sick which resembles a little of Montezuma's revenge if you catch my drift. These things have stolen two of my days, Wednesday and Today. I missed school, and now I only have two days left. I did use the time though to go shopping, spend lots of money that I don't have on gifts, and write tons and tons of letters. I just feel like I need to leave a little of myself with the people that I love hear, so that they wont forget me. But I am so afraid they will. Well, not forget entirely, it just seems so easy to settle into normal life again. And that is what I want, but still. I'm sure I'll do a similar thing back home, and settle in slowly, but that doesn't mean I will forget. I definitely won't do that. So it will be fine. I had been planning on spending the night with Denia at her house, but my sickness took care that I couldn't do that, but they were sweet enough to come visit me. I was actually at the hogar though, but Nelson, Walter, and Alan came to fetch me on their bikes. I rode Honduran Style- 2 to a bike which was kind of exciting. I felt bad for Nelson because I weigh quite a bit more than a typical small Honduran haha. I passed out some of my gifts for them and Denia already started crying. I tried to pick out something extra nice for her and finally settled on a little jewelry box where I put a picture of us, with a bracelet inside, as well as a picture frame. For others I gave some of my clothes, jewelry that I bought, and other things. I still have a bit to pass out. I spent today packing up the room, just to get everything ready since I had time. I don't want to waste another minute packing when I can be with the kids. Everything seems in order. About three of the families are coming down tomorrow to have some lunch with me. There could be about 20 or more people in the house. We shall see.

Everything will be changing so soon. I can't believe it at all. I think I'm preparing myself well though. I know what's coming, and I'll be back. But I will miss them and everyone, that much is clear. Things like this leave a mark on your heart.

A flurry of action

2011-03-29T21:49:00.000-07:00

These days are passing too quickly!!! I've been so busy and so much has happened. The rest of Carrie and Britta's stay was quite fun. We went to Cayos Cochinos and hung out on the tropical beaches yet again. I felt so deliciously lazy, I loved it. I got a nice tan, snorkeled some, saw some amazing jelly fish, and enjoyed. When we got back, we got ready to go hang out at a house by the river for the night. Zoe, Carrie, Britta and I stayed there. The river is truly incredible and beautiful. I went down and read by its edge, listened to the water, and relaxed in the amazing beauty of the place I am at. On Saturday I left nice and early to go to San Pedro Sula to pick up the group! I was so excited. I brought Eloisa along and she thought I was quite crazy the way I was jumping up on down an I peered through this tiny slit where I could see Erica and others emerging. When Danielle came out, I about pushed her over from my hug, and then followed everyone else and it was hugs all around.

After loading up luggage, and the most donations I've ever seen a group bring, we traveled for some lunch, then to the hotel, and finally to the hogar in the night to drop by to say hi really quickly. As the bus pulled up, there were literally screams from inside the hogar in excitement. Everyone from last year got off as fast as they could to embrace their kids, and those who were new jumped right into playing and getting to know everyone. We spent Sunday at the river. The kids got there late because of a miscommunication, but once they were there everyone had tons of fun jumping from rocks and playing soccer etc. Poor Denia gashed open both of her feet. Denia is my closest friend here, 17 years old and one of the toughest girls you'll meet. To see her almost crying I knew she was in lots of pain. But we fixed her all up and it should be getting better. For dinner the group got to sample some Baleadas which they loved, though not quite as much as I love them haha. Needless to say they were delicious.

Yesterday was their first day working. I opted to continue helping with school and skip the hard manual labor. I think it was a good choice. Their project is to improve the water system so that there is a constant and reliable source of water for the kids. We have been without water for the kitchen and bathrooms for the past four days. The group hauled lots of sand, some hacked out a better path, and soon they will begin laying pipes. In the afternoon they all went rafting but I opted to stay behind at the river playing with the kids, since I'd been the week before. My plan was to wait for the rafts to pass, since I was hanging out near the end of the treck. So I passed a lovely 4 hours, playing, being smothered by little ones, etc. I figured they should be by about 3 30. Then it became 4, then 4 30 and at 5 I figured they weren't coming for whatever reason. Eloisa was staying with me,so I went in search of a telephone. Deanna lent me one and I eventually found service to call David. I was quite unsure what had happened. It turns out they simply left me! Ha. My own father forgot me. The rafts had stopped at a higher up place because the river was a tad shallow, and instead of coming to get me where I said I would be, they went back- assuming that I would have left by then! Absurdity. So I was more or less stranded up in the jungle. David did come to get me, and once I was back all the kids told me how worried they were, and how my dad was worried, and they asked if he would be mad at me. It was quite sweet. David had called Denia as well, and before he picked me up, she, Geni, and Brenda came running down in search of me. Denia looks at me and starts to tell me off about how she was studying and then David called so she came looking for me and she thought I was drowned. It was really sweet. I feel safe up there just because there are a lot of people who would take care of me.

Today was a different sort of day. Eloisa got sick this morning and is still sick and I'm quite worried about her. I don't know if she ate something or what. She didn't look to good all morning at the school, but she's one of the girls who could be dying but still have a smile on her face. She wasn't the only one. Joseal was crying because his teeth hurt. When I asked him to show me it was obvious why. He has two enormous holes drilled into his gums from cavity's. He needs them pulled badly and I told his dad that as well. The poor thing it was really hurting. Then I learned one of the girls was being sexually abused by and uncle and that just upset me because she is the sweetest thing. Sometimes things are just upsetting. A lot of the group was sick as well :( So I was wandering around quite worried.

A quick trip to the campisino village today, back to the hogar and then to dinner, and I am now here exhausted writing. Se vaya bien.

The little things

2011-03-22T21:57:00.000-07:00

Time has been good here, running as normal, at least as normal as normal gets. I go to school and help with Kinder, or anything else that needs doing. Classes are good, and the school has settled into a nice rhythm. There are always interesting things happening. The kids continue to amaze me. One day last week the bus had to leave an hour early because of a strike that was supposedly going to happen and possibly take over the bridge of the highway so that no one could cross. Since we were early, I watched from the window of the bus as one of the girls, Norma, crossed the river carrying not one, but two of her family members across, barefoot while fighting against the current. She must have feet of steel in order to do that. I have difficulty crossing on my own barefoot because of all the rocks that constantly jab into my feet.

The new play set at the hogar is finished now. It's quite something to watch the kids fly down the slide and then keep going because the concrete in front kind of slopes down to the next classroom. Danerous? Just a little. Supposedly there is supposed to be a fence built in front but we shall see. Fresita got really sick for a little bit. I think she had worms and all of the sudden she became listless and wouldn't eat. I got so worried and we eventually took her to the vet. He kept her for a few hours, gave her some medicine, didn't charge us money! and now she is on the recover path thank goodness. One of the little kittens wasn't so lucky :( She also got sick and didn't make it. The poor thing was so cute, even as you could tell she was fading, she was still purring. The other four seem to be alright. Not perfect because they have some sort of bowel movement problem but they are running around and okay. I just want to deliver them all safe to the kids, and ready to be good pets.

Carlos and Moises had a bit of a fight the other day at the hogar. It's strange how quickly things can turn from play and joking, to pure hostility. They were working on some homework and apparently Moises farted and then put his hand as if to grab it and rub it in Carlos' face. Well Carlos wasn't too keen on that, and since he had scissors in his hand he decided to reach over and gash Moises' leg. After that they made a move as if to start hitting each other, but luckily Kenedi was there and took a slug on her arm for the team, broke it up and then I stepped in, grabbed them both and tried to sort it out. Moises seemed to kind of shrugged it off, but Carlos was shaking with anger. That kind of took me back, because I still don't see how that could have set him off so badly. I decided he needed to walk it off and try to get himself under control, so we went for a stroll around the block. He wouldn't say much but he looked better at the end of it. I still feel like there must have been something more, but who knows.

Carrie and Britta are here! It's so exciting and we're having fun. I hope they are enjoying themselves. I went to San Pedro Sula on Friday with Cristy. We stayed with Lenner (her brother and nicest man in the world) and went in the morning to get them. Unfortunately I slightly mixed up the times of their arrival so we left late to pick them up. On our way over, we had a bit of an incident when the hood came up and hit the wind shield and completely cracked the entire thing. It was an enormous bang and thank god we were in a semi deserted street or that could have been a problem. We continued on and finally got to the airport to pick them up. Me, Carrie and Britta headed back with a friend of Cristy's to Ceiba while she stayed to get the wind shield fixed, so here we are safe and sound. We went to the hogar the first day, and as we walked in Cherlin took one look at Britta and a mischievous smile lit her face and she tells me all sassy like 'I knew she was coming!'. Britta hadn't told Cherlin, and I'd only mentioned that a surprise was coming. She had then guessed what it was and I denied it, but the two of them really are inseparable. On Saturday the rain foiled our river plans, so we went early to the Hogar to help decorate for the fiesta. The Hogar looked really nice, and Zoe face painted almost everyone. There were lots of little tigers running around. The program was good and the food was nice, and it was my favorite to just dance around with everyone after. I got to tell them about our 5 30 wake up call which they were thrilled about, but they seem to be hanging in there. They are on miscellaneous job duty, which includes organizing the library, painting and covering books. I think they're enjoying it.

On Sunday we hiked to an amazing waterfall, on Monday after school we hung out at the river with 23 kids, and today we went rafting on the river. So beautiful, and such amazing days. Yesterday I was in charge of all the kids, and wore my voice out yelling to not jump off rocks, not bathe naked, etc. etc. I wasn't too stressed though. And today was beautiful. Drifting down the river with the sun and friends and everything. Amazing. So I'm enjoying myself a lot. I'm going to miss so many things. Actually mostly the kids. I love them. So thats it, same old story :) lots to look forward to!

Thank God for HHK

2011-03-10T21:16:00.000-08:00

There are certain times when I am here that really make me realize the amazing work that HHK does. This past weekend drove that in for me more than any other time I have been here. I decided to go to El Progresso in order to attempt to make some connections with an organization called Students Helping Honduras, which also does awesome work. I had run into them on the Georgetown campus, and since I will be there soon I wanted to see what it was about. They have chapters all of the US that send volunteers down to build housing and schools in and around the El Progresso area. I met the director, Shin Fujiyama, and he and his crew have accomplished an amazing amount. It was great getting to talk with him and meet some people from Georgetown as well. It even looks like we may be able to work out some sort of work together with SHH and HHK, so that is exciting as well. We shall see if it develops. Hope so!

On Saturday morning I caught a bus over to El Progresso, about 2 hours from La Ceiba, and met up with the staff. A new group of 60 volunteers was coming in that day so I met a bunch of new people, and went with two of the girls to see Villa Soleada, which is the pioneer project of SHH. There are 44 homes there that were built I believe, with a community center and what will soon be a full running Children's home. It was nice seeing the families and the kids, and just taking everything in.

Sunday made a huge impact on me. SHH took their group to a state run orphanage in San Pedro Sula. It was awful. Simply awful. The minute I walked into the place I didn't like it, I can hardly imagine living there. It is built like a prison, complete with a guard tower. The rooms are all locked up, and the entire area smells. The only redeeming aspect is a nice play ground in the back, but besides from that there isn't much. The poor kids though are what got to me. These are not healthy kids. Almost all of the boys had scabs on their heads, and a lot of kids had cuts or wounds on their faces and bodies. These kids also weren't socially or mentally healthy most of them. There were many special needs kids that were not getting the attention they needed. None of the kids get the attention they need. All of the kids are 13 or under and there are about 130 at the facility with 3 staff members to look after them all. One staff is dedicated to the 20 or so 'babies' in the nursery, another to the 20 special needs kids, and another to all the rest. These kids are growing up with almost a complete lack of any adult figure. They don't get medical attention, educational attention, basically no attention. They are growing up among kids in an environment that no kid should be in. But of course the answer is always the same. There just aren't the resources to take care of them. Not enough money sent over. Which is true, but why? So what's the answer. The only thing we can do is build a private orphanage and get them out, which is exactly what HHK did. Thank God our kids are where they are. I don't know if they were ever in a place like that but I certainly hope not. But now that I saw it, I can't stop thinking about the other kids. Who won't grow up healthily or develop correctly. Many will probably become social misfits or gang members.

I went into the baby ward. That for me was maybe the worst part. Cribs are stacked together, each with a baby or two in them. One of the babies was had arms and legs about as big as my thumb. She was absolutely tiny, and just sucking on her thumb like she was trying to eat it, but completely quiet. Others cried from hunger, from needing to be changed, from wanting attention from the one house mother who was paid to watch them. Not all of them were babies in the cribs. There were kids that looked at least 7 or 8 years old, who never developed past the baby phase. I don't know their stories but it's so difficult to see. I worry about the babies who wont get the love they need to grow. The entire thing was a mess and I did not leave that place a happy person. It's not fair.

So after that we grabbed lunch and I had a 2 hour bus ride to sit through with those images in my head. It almost surprises me though how quickly I can get back into my normal routine, and not think about it. Maybe I"m in the mind set that I can't do anything at present, so it's better not to dwell on it, though I'll make sure not to forget. I am more convinced though that we need to make sure HHK's work continues. It takes so much to support a small orphanage, but the work is worth it. The kids deserve the attention. HHK isn't perfect, but it's quite a bit better than that. Of course it's resources that are the problem, and they could do more with more, but how will they ever get them. Ugh

Monday it was back to class and helping out with Kinder. Actually, thinking about it that's a lie. I came down with a 103 fever on Monday and was asleep all day. I don't know where it came from. Could have been from the orphanage. So that was fun. Tuesday was also a recovery day, but luckily by the night I was ready to go. We went out to a movie with the kids which was fun of course. Wednesday was school again, followed by the hogar and then a night time swim at the beach with the kids. I played some soccer and we all had a blast and it was awesome. I love them. All the time I spend with them only pounds this fact in more and more, and yet my brain echoes ' your leaving... your leaving....' but I try to deny it. Today I went with David to help drop off donations in the Campesino village. I hadn't seen it in quite awhile so it was good to go. In the afternoon we went to buy paint in order to paint the kinder class tomorrow and I spent a bunch of money. It was great. Then I went to the Hogar to pick up a batch of 5 kittens I am now currently caring for. The mother had them in the hogar and then left. They are quiet needy and will be more work, and the house is becoming a half way house for animals but they are adorable. So thats it, I am tired and goodnight!

Transitions

2011-03-04T17:53:00.000-08:00

This week was my first week without a job. I got booted out. Well not really of course, but I was really just beginning to really get into the swing of teaching kinder. I quite love it surprisingly and its strange now that its no longer my classroom. But of course that means that there is good news and that we found a new teacher! He is now teaching 5th and 6th grade and the kids seem to really like him. Bien chistoso. Maestra Kenia went to first and second grade, and the teacher for that level moved down to Kinder. So therefore, I am no longer maestra Kyla. Just volunteer haha. But it's better that way. Since I'm leaving and all. Although, in some way moving out of a teaching position really hit it home for me that I am indeed leaving in a little over a month. My heart kind of aches every time I think about it. So I prefer not to, though it's never far from my mind. I feel like I'm on the countdown now. I had hoped for a little while to extend my stay until May, but it doesn't seem like thats going to be possible.

Anyways, I've been helping the new teacher, Marie, get used to the classroom routine. She is very young, 18 like me, and inexperienced, and to be honest the first three days I was quite annoyed with her. Almost angry. Sometimes she lacks the strength to run a classroom, she is soft spoken and doesn't have that great of control. She would prepare during class and she didn't have a great grasp on when the kids were bored. After working pretty hard at ordering the class, getting kids to listen etc, I didn't want all my work undone. So, for better or for worse, I wrote a note on Wednesday telling her that she needed to be a bit more prepared and a few other things. It wasn't mean but it was pretty direct and I debated whether or not to give it to her, and once I did I regretted it but I figured it was too late to dwell on it after that. Thursday morning came and I was quite nervous that she would be mad at me, but thankfully she took it in the best way possible. She admitted that there were things she needed to work on and she took some of my advice really well. She had a lesson planned out, took control of the class pretty well, looked over both parts of the class, led the line etc. etc. I was really impressed and relieved. No one likes to be criticized, especially by someone that is the same age as you. I also was nervous because looking back it really wasn't my place to say those things. I think once in awhile I have a problem with doing things, or wanting to do things, that are the responsibility of others. I mean it in the best possible way, but I have realized that I do like to be in control of certain things. I'm working on knowing the difference of when help is wanted, and when I'm infringing. Someone needs to give me a job haha. I've taken a backseat in the classroom though.

A new nurse came and he and Kim are working on doing head checks for all the kids at the jungle school and treating the worst cases of lice. We desperately need more lice shampoo. Some of the kids are simply covered. Well not just the kids. You can add me into the mix. Awesome, though I've mostly got control of it I believe. There is also a scalp infection thats going around that makes the kids loose their hair and I reallllly don't want to get it. I should be fine. Lots of hand sanitizer. I feel like I've learned a lot more about abuse lately, different cases of it. There has to be a point where I stop thinking about it, because otherwise I would never rest. These kids who are typically so full of smiles come every day and you fall in love with them and they go through so much. I just hope each and every one will turn out to live a happier life. Today I went with Maestra Kenia to visit a family who isn't sending their kids to school any more, though they did last year. For those of you who remember my complaining about Kevin from kinder the year before, he didn't return to school this year and it made me worried. So we went up their and Kenia talked with the parents. I think they may come Monday, though their seemed to be problems because they had no birth certificates or something of the sort. On our way down we met up with a few of the volunteers who had gone swimming with the kids. While swimming, Samir from my kinder class had fell and gashed his eyebrow, and Deanna, his older sister, was so so worried because she said that her mom was going to beat her for not watching him better. She asked us to stay and talk with her mom so of course we agreed, and so we just hung out for about 3 and a half hours waiting for her mom to get home. Kenia had left with Cristy, so it was three of us. I was worried for her, because I know how things work here, and she was definitely going to get a beating for something that wasn't her fault. It sucks so much and there is so little we can do. Hitting is so ingrained up in the area. The first response to anything is to grab a stick and wield it high until a kid listens. It's kids, animals, anything really. You get obedience through force. I extremely dislike it, even though I love the people. It's so hard to change.

So that is it. We have a full house of volunteers now. It's been fun. Somehow I seem to be spending less and less time with the kids, or it feels like it, but I'm trying to help where I'm needed. Soaking in everything still. Looking forward to certain people coming down :) Missing everyone a tad. I send my love!

I've been working really hard

2011-02-27T20:15:00.000-08:00

Yes, I'll admit it now. I've been working very hard. Really sacrificing myself for the good of others while lying on a beach in the beautiful bay islands of Honduras. I think any praise or acknowledgement that has been given to me should be rescinded, because if I was really working I wouldn't have been where I've been the past two weekends. I can't believe it's been that long since I've written. So to begin...

Last Friday three of the volunteers and I decided to go to Tela. Tela is a little coastal city about an hour from Ceiba known for it's beautiful beaches. We left early on Saturday morning to grab the bus over and off we went. The four of us make quite a sight going anywhere. There are two girls from Germany, one from England and then me. Three of us are blond and we are all very tall by Honduran standards. We got there in good time and went to find a hotel. We had booked one a few days before but after talking about it, we decided it was too expensive. Luckily we are all on a pretty tight budget. The taxi recommended a few places and then took us to one. It was nothing fancy but clean enough. Then it was off to the beach. Unfortunately our first day it was cloudy and rainy. We could see the beach stretching in both directions but the drizzle kept us under the palapa of the restaurant. We just talked and laughed and it was good. At one point it was quite funny because there was a group of guys from Mexico a few tables over on vacation as well. They sent over one of the boys who was selling coconut bread to ask us to come over and sit with them. We politely declined and then laughed it away. We went out for awhile in the night to take in the town a bit and then headed back to the hotel to sleep. When we woke in the morning I went over to check my cash stash and discovered an unpleasant surprise. 500 limperas (about $25) were missing from my wallet. I had left it in the room when I went out the night before and when I said something, Zoe found out she was missing $10. I thought that it was really strange that both of us were only missing some of our money, so I figured it must have been someone from the hotel that took it and was trying to make it so we wouldn't notice it was gone. Then I looked around the room to see how they got in, and one of the windows was completely broken and could easily be slid open without any trouble. Oooh I was mad, but also super happy at the same time that not everything was gone because it could have easily been so much worse. My credit card, camera, etc. When we went to leave, I told the lady at the front that someone took our money and she went right over to the woman who was watching the hotel the night before and asked her about it. The woman was super defensive, and asked why anyone would only take some of the money and it was obvious that it was her. We couldn't do anything more though so we packed up and left. When we looked at the guide book later it said that it was a good hotel for the price but that there were rumors things disappeared from guests rooms. Well, rumors are true. Don't stay at Hotel Bertha.

Sunday morning though was beautiful. The sky was clear, the sun was shining, and Anna, Zoe and I were set to go on a tour of Punta Sal. We took a boat across the bay of Tela to a point about 45 minutes out. The tour led us across a small hiking trail where we saw tarantula's, enormous spiders and monkeys! It was really neat. Then, we got to relax on the beach for the rest of the day, taking in the sand and the sun and the water. We made a few friends from Tegucigalpa. One was 13 and the other was 11 and reminded me so much of my little sister it was slightly eerie. Lunch was a traditional Garrifuna lunch of fried fish and the rest of the day was simply nice. Once we got back to Tela, we picked up Miriam, who had stayed behind, from the beach and caught a bus back to Ceiba.

The week went really well I think. The kinder kids did well and I'm just getting into the swing of teaching. Having a schedule to follow every day makes everything a thousand time easier, because there are only a few hours of space each day that I actually have to fill with a plan. The kids are so cute too. The two little trouble makers, Daniel and Samir, are getting closer to me every day. I want to be mad at them but I can't because they are really the smartest kids in the class. It's a cute kind of trouble making also. Erg. I can really tell a difference in the kids when I bring snack versus when I don't. On Wednesday I had the snack set out and completely forgot to grab it in the morning. So frustrating. Carolina, one of the moms who helps me, said that her little kidnergartener went home and told her that I had forgotten it for the day. When I leave I'm going to have to figure out some way to keep it going, because kids don't learn on empty stomachs. On the friday before our weekend in Tela, we had gym class and took the kids down to the river. It was fun and we ran around, but Glenda found something pretty bad on the back of one of the little girls. Leiry, who is the cutest thing with bobbing curls and always a huge smile on her face, had four darkly imprinted belt buckle marks in her back that were just beginning to bruise. You could see the square in her back with the line for the clip. I have no idea what she did or who did it or why, but there is no reason- ever- to hit a kid like that. I realize that hitting is the way to keep the kids in line for most of the people who live up in the jungle, but there is a fine line and that was leaps past it. Even the other moms said that something had to be done, and Leiry just smiled up at us as we looked over her back. She must be used to pain. The following Tuesday she hit her head hard against the table and then got right back up like it didn't faze her. Two minutes later I look over at her forehead and a lump the like a thimble had emerged from that exact spot. Any other kid would have burst out in tears for ages. Anyways, David and all of the teachers got together to write a note to the parents saying that treatment like that needs to stop, and if they notice anything else further action will be taken. What I don't know, but hopefully it's enough just to let them know that we are keeping track. So besides that, kinder is good. Every day I get pretty tired but it's only half the day. The rest of the day I'll either go to the hogar, or go shopping or once and awhile head to the beach, but I think from now on I'll mostly go to the hogar. I love the kids too much.

And finally there was this weekend, which made the list for one of the best couple days of my life. I spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday with people I love in a surreal, beautiful place, taking in the sun, the beach, the marine life; opening coconuts, eating, playing and laughing. Eight of the Hogar kids, me, Denia, 3 of the volunteers, Cristy, Meily, David, and some relatives and friends- 20 in total- went to Southwest Cay for the weekend. It is a cay off of Utila that David shares with two other families. Basically a private island that we had to ourselves for the weekend. 20 of us on paradise. It isn't big, but it's just big enough that there is plenty to run around on and especially swim. All the time I was in the water. Snorkeling off the reef that runs all the way around the island, watching colorful fish dart in and out of the coral in the crystal blue water, and seeing the sunlight dapple through the waves onto the sandy bottom below. Taking pictures, some good and some bad, underwater and out. Kayaking and taking turns ferrying the kids around on the kayak. Playing on the pier and throwing kids in, and in turn being pushed in by them. Sad to say they won more often than not. Watching as Rosa, Mercedes, and Denia attempted to go on a fishing trip and then came back with nothing. It's a good thing we weren't relying on their trip for a meal. Laying on the beach, falling asleep if I felt like it. Peeling and breaking coconut after coconut. I got so good at it after awhile although my hands are now stained a purple-ish color for whatever reason. It was all so good, so good. At night we lit an enormous bonfire on one end of the island, and raced hermit crabs to see who's was the fastest. Mine won 3 times in a row hah. We played limbo in the dark, and then all went out to lay on the dock and look at the thousands of stars that glinted so brightly overhead, and feel the wind blow at our faces and our hair. I felt so full of life. It was an adventure to walk out to the bathroom that was only a hole right over the water, especially at night when you hoped you wouldn't step on a hermit crab. But my favorite part of all were the 9 amazing kids that were with with me. Adjusting Santos's snorkel, throwing Angelo in the water, and then being pushed in by Daniel. Being dragged around by Cherlin and told to open coconut after coconut. Laying on the pier with Rosa, Denia, Mercedes and Sara at night and laughing until our stomachs hurt. Doing all the work kayaking as Daniel and Paty put their heads in the water to take a look at the fish. Putting Santos to bed and having him tell me a story about little red riding hood. Taking pictures with Rosa. All of those moments that stay with you. Those are the one's that last the longest.

And it was good

2011-02-17T19:36:00.000-08:00

Kinder went beautifully this week. I couldn't have been happier with what we have. It's so exciting when you get a schedule that works and makes the kids listen and they are learning. So rewarding! Hopefully it keeps up. On Monday I launched the official kinder schedule for 14 kindergarten kids in a 6' x 9' classroom. We begin each day by assigning jobs to 4 of the kids. The jobs include line leader, snack helper, trash collector and weather calendar. The kids who have the jobs raise their hand and get some acknowledgment. Then we move onto the weather calendar, when the person in charge draws what the weather is like and puts it on the correct day, to keep track. Following that we have the daily news, where we go around and ask each kid to share something and record it in a binder. This helps them begin to tell a story, and remember things from the day before. We then sing a song together, wash our hands, and the snack person helps pass out breakfast that I provide for the kids. Following that we clean up and start our morning activity. This week we've worked on tearing paper, crumpling up and gluing it, cutting, colors and shapes. The kids are actually pretty good at focusing and staying on task. To keep them in line, I made a card chart like the one in the states. I used my own elementary school experience, when we had to change our card if we got in trouble. All of them stayed green until today, when Daniel changed to yellow and had a time out for climbing on the railing when I said no. The punishment seemed to make an impact on him so that was good.

After activity, we take them up for their milk break, when they get warm fortified milk, and then march them up to the sink to brush their teeth. Then back down the tire steps for an outdoor game which is always the most difficult with minimum space. After that we have story time, and then rest time where they lay their heads down for 10 minutes and are still. It actually works! I never would have thought it possible but it does! It helps that play time is right after rest time, so we can threaten to shorten it if they don't try to close their eyes. And of course, play time at the end where they get access to several toys and play together. It's really quite lovely and runs well and all in all exciting :) Eddy has started to take over a bit with Kinder. We've worked it out so that I plan the lessons, and then he teaches most of them. So really, I kind of get the not as fun part and most the work... but I don't mind and he does do really well with the kids so I'm happy. One day, I even left class for a bit to check out the other classrooms. Zoe, the volunteer from England, had told me that it had been kind of difficult to keep everyone in reign, and boy was she right. Second grade was all out of their seats and not paying attention. The teacher was on the other side of the classroom with 1st grade so I kind of went up front and began barking orders and trying to get them listening. Waldy, who I adore, was in the class but she is the worst listener. I think she was kind of surprised when I got on her case. I was laughing the next day when she was telling me that I'm not allowed in her class anymore ha.

Other news... we have a bus!! It's so exciting. All for HHK. That way, the kids get to school on time, we don't squeeze thirty people into the van, and the kids from the jungle school don't have to walk quite as far. It's a nice bus too. On another note, Gerson is talking to me again! After a month of not acknowledging my existence, he is finally my friend again. I still have no idea what I did, but I'm happy his mood is over. The group from Kentucky left today. It's so strange having the house again almost to ourselves. It is me, Zoe from England, Ana from Germany, and Miriam who arrived today who is also from Germany. A good group. I'm sure I gained weight from the last two weeks. We had our meals cooked for us Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner- Kentucky style. Soooo good, but so bad at the same time. Ah well. I almost forgot!!! We got a puppy! She is adorable and her name is Fresita. I showed up to the Hogar on Sunday (which I also didn't mention which was the Valentines party and the Hogar looked gorgeous) and she was there. Someone had brought her their the day before. She is only about 4 weeks old and tiny and I decided that she could not stay there for a few weeks. So I took her back to our house so that she can get a little more durable and bigger, train her a bit and get her ready for life in a house with 22 kids. Soooo cute. She is good :)

It starts again

2011-02-11T19:37:00.000-08:00

My alarm went off at 5:10 this morning for the third day in a row. I do not approve. In other words, school has officially begun. We have kicked off the new school year for better or for worse. I'm sitting here trying to think back to the beginning of the week and am having difficulty, the past three days have been all consuming. Monday and Tuesday I spent both days organizing at the Jungle School for classes, which began on Monday. A few of the women from the group went with me and we cleaned and moved stuff around and I was informed that I would be teaching Kinder again! Well, awesome. I didn't mind too much but it is soooo tiring. More on that later. I didn't see how the school would be ready in time, but somehow everyone managed. One of the women helped enter a school roster onto my computer because there is no access to a computer at the school. Lucy and I went shopping on Tuesday afternoon for some teacher supplies, and then again with Maestra Kenya on Wednesday. They seriously have so little, and the group donated some money for supplies so we went out to help. I don't know what they would have done without it. Everything at that school is just to 'make do'. I was looking through ideas for teaching Kinder, and I'm looking at the resources that school in the US have and it's so incredibly different! A big classroom with toys and different areas, a place to make a snack. Outdoor play space. I have none of that. And it's the same for the older classes. Really, the kinder is more like Pre School because the kids are learning basic manners and listening more than actual reading and math.

The first day went all right. We got started late and kids kept trickling in for two hours. It seemed like many were unsure that classes actually started that day. The teachers were kind of scrambling, settling into new rooms and sorting kids out. The group also set up a little 'vacation bible school' for the different grades which took up time. Kinder went pretty well. I have 11 kids in total (13 now because two joined). We began by introducing ourselves and then we did a little art project with handprints. I taught them "duck duck goose" though it turned into "duck duck tiger" when I realized I didn't know the Spanish work for goose. The poor kids will be forever confused. I attempted to sing a song but they were not excited about that prospect. We drew and colored, and I bribed them into being good by promising play time at the end. I've decided that bribery is my best tool for control. I'm no good at punishing and they don't really care if I do anyway, but if I wave a pack of play dough in front of them, I get complete attention. It's amazing. I'm teaching them to walk in a line, and it's really quite cute watching them walk up and down the steps after me.

The second day we got locked out of the classroom. I have my keys to Maestra Kenya and she forgot them, so we had class outside. Luckily there were a few supplies from shopping so we went over body parts, class rules, attempted to sing 'head shoulders knees and toes' and did a few other things. The biggest challenge is just controlling them. At one point, I had to stop them and tell them the rules. I think they are testing me to see if I'll follow through with my threats of time out. Well, I did and one of the little girls had to sit out for half the time of playing with play dough. Most of the kids are really sweet. Daniel, Carlitos and Samir are the little trouble makers but cute nonetheless. Little Ingrid cries about every day but quiets down when I pick her up. There are two twins that for the life of me, I couldn't understand what their name was and asked them about twenty times. Finally we had to check the registry and it turned out to be Leiry and Lleilin, so no wonder I hadn't a clue. We've also had a few incidents that have been tough for me. On Thursday towards the end of class, all of the sudden Keyla just grabs her stomach and starts bawling and spitting up. She gasps out that it hurts and just kept crying. Lucy was there and I asked her to take her to the kitchen. She was starving from hunger. She hadn't had anything to eat probably since lunch the day before, and finally she couldn't take it. This little five year old, crying from hunger. They put a plate of food in front of her and she stuffed half a tortilla in her mouth. And today was even worse. Again, it was towards the end of class. We were outside because the kids had all just got a special stuffed animal and I look over and Yesli is sitting down holding her bear, crying and leaning over trying to puke. I take the bear, lean her forward and she pukes on the cement all over. I call for a mother who comes and walks her around. She sits down and five minutes later its the same thing. It was bad. They took her to the kitchen and she puked some more, but you could tell the only thing in her stomach was the milk from snack time. They told me she puked up blood and some of the worms that live in her stomach. They started her on worm medication and gave her something to eat. I think sometimes I have to shut something off in my mind, or else I would let things like that bring me down too much. I can't dwell on them or it's too much. I can't deal with something like that every day, when little five year old girls are crying and puking from hunger and worms. I think I'm going to bring breakfast every day for my class. They need to eat, then they can learn.

Other than that, I think I'm doing okay. They listen to me relatively well. I don't think I'll ever be a kinder teacher, because it is exhausting, but it's kind of fun. I've been researching and reading and getting ideas. It's funny how much I am using from when I was in elementary school. I took a nap today at the hogar, and woke up with the kids around me. Oh, I forgot to talk about Rosa. Well on Sunday she got into a tiff with Reina and told her she'd hit her if she kept doing what she was doing, which of course she did, and so she hit her. Well, that doesn't fly by me so I spoke up and told her that you can't do that, and she needs to apologize. Rosa is more or less the matriarch of the kids when Danelia isn't around and she keeps them in line, so she didn't like being told what to do. She got defensive and so to prove her point or something, she slapped Reina again. Thank god Reina didn't hit back, but I went and told David and she got in trouble. I hated doing it too because Rosa and I are really close. The next day she was, predictably, angry with me. But what could I do? I did what I though was right. I'm sure in her mind,and because of her background, what she did was totally justified. Two days later she really did amaze me. I knew she was mature, which is one of the reasons we get along so well, but to go up to someone on your own accord and apologize and admit you were wrong takes more maturity than most 18 year olds I know. Needless to say I was so proud of her and we are fine now, but it made a really big impression on me. Well, I'm about to fall asleep on the keyboard. I better quit while I'm awake. Goodnight all :)

Typical Gringa

2011-02-06T09:42:00.001-08:00

I spent the night with the Castro's last night! The Castro's include Luz Mila, Eloisa, Kevin, Nayeli, Mae and Fermin and then of course their parents. They live an hour and a half hike away from the road, so after helping out at the school on Friday, I headed up to their house with Lorena (their mom) and Kevin. Kevin rode a donkey all the way up, and I hiked up the mountain on foot. I saw a monkey! Briefly, but it was there. So exciting. We got up to their house around 2 in the afternoon, and Eloisa, Kevin and Nayeli took me over to the stream by their house. They have their own private nature playground. The closest house is about an hours walk away. The stream is a series of waterfalls with little pools to swim in, with the forest on both sides. We caught bugs and walked from waterfall to waterfall, letting the water run over us. At one point we were walking along a little track, and in gringa style I completely slipped down the side into the bushes, a good 7 feet down. It was pretty awesome, and then they had to pull me back up. Luckily I didnt' get hurt and I was just cracking up but it was ridiculous. We swam a little more and then went back to the house and went to bring the cows into the gate. We walked to the highest point and I could see a panorama of the beach, La Ceiba, the mountains and all around. It's amazing. We rolled down the hill a bit and then watched a dog dig a hole. We went to investigate and we looked in and it was some sort of animal. Eventually we figured out that it was an aborted baby calf that they had buried there :( But that is life. The horse they had was sooo skinny poor thing. He also had some open wounds and I felt so bad but you can't do all that much. I think that the Castro's treat their animals quite a bit better than most of the families I've seen. I appreciate that. They are a great set of people. Lorena is so kind and helpful, and all of the kids are playful and polite and intelligent. They have a tough lot in life though. Even as I basked in how absolutely beautiful it was, I knew that to them the beauty only means hardship. Living so far away means that work is nearly impossible to come by. During school Lorena gets up at 3 to make breakfast and the kids get up so they have time to walk down to school so the bus doesn't leave. Mae is now in the high school so he doesn’t get back until 3 and has to make the hour and a half hike back up, and then somehow use his hour left of light to do all his homework. He got home and got right to work on Friday, and when it started to get back I lent him my flashlight so he could work a little longer. He works on the weekends or when he has the opportunity to make a little money for the family. Fermin is only 2, so the family all has to pitch in to watch out for him.

That night I brought out my deck of cards and played Go Fish and a few other games. Nayeli loved B.S. I had them play Go Fish in English and it was so funny for me to sit there and have them all speaking in English, in a tiny little dirt hut on the top of a mountain in the middle of Honduras, using the light of a flashlight. It was awesome. I peaked outside a bit later and saw the fireflies flitting on the hillside. The three middle kids and I decided to make a trip outside to see La Ceiba at night, and oh how beautiful it is. The stars were out as well. I brought my camera and we spent about an hour taking pictures in the dark and rolling around and making silly faces. It was so funny and the pictures are pretty classic/ fea. This morning I slept in till about 8 and they fed me a good breakfast. We just relaxed in the house, and then went outside to search for mango's. We all climbed a tree and sang songs in the tree, while Fermin looked up at us from the bottom. We left for down the mountain at about 10 30 and made it down much faster than we made it up. Of course, at the very very end of the walk, I decided to run and race Eloisa down the hill and twisted my ankle pretty badly. I think I heard something make a snapping sound but it doesn't hurt that bad, it's mostly just stiff and swollen. I felt pretty awesome and gringa- ish. I can still walk, but they were all worried about me. I had made plans with the kids to go swimming in the river and saw no reason to change them, since I could still walk. About 15 kids joined us and we headed down the mountain to swim in my favorite spot in the river. I got to see the kids who've started the highschool. I miss them! I never get to see them anymore. We played 'king of the rock', trying to see who could stay on the rock the longest, and just swam around. I was pretty careful, but was fine relaxing and watching the sun sparkle off the river, and soak in a little sun myself. On the way back up to the road, the kids asked me if I needed help and of course I refused. Then, as I was crossing a little river, I stepped on a loose rock and totally fell into the water in front of at least 10 of them. I laughed and they laughed harder, and then they dragged me up the mountain because that definitely wasn't good for my ankle. I made it back safe and now am writing in our now full house. A group of 20 arrived tonight from Kentucky, so it should be an interesting few days.

New Friends

2011-02-03T22:02:00.000-08:00

The work group from Michigan whom were here left today. Towards the end both Zoe and I got especially close to them. They were so nice, and put little cards on our pillows before they left. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday we had English classes that went relatively well. We've been going over what people are wearing, what the kids like or dislike and how to order in a restaurant. Some parts are better than others but it works. Donna, one of the women from Michigan, brought one of those giant parachutes that kids love and we played with that. On Tuesday Donna, Zoe and I went up to Geny's and brought the parachute and played with all the little ones. We brought up lunch, made sandwiches, went up to the top where there is a gorgeous view and then headed down to put our feet in the river waiting for Cristy to pick us up. It was really nice. Right after that, we went back to the Hogar, did an art project, grabbed some dinner and then spent the night moving from one house to another. It was a very busy day.

Yesterday after classes was the groundbreaking ceremony for the new Hogar de Amor. They are officially starting on the building that will become home to these kids; the first block was laid at the ceremony. We had a piñata, fresco, and then played a game of futbol on the gravel in our flip flops. It was girls vs boys, and unfortunately we lost but what can you do. David dropped us off at the new house, we showered with our cold showers (no hot water in this house :( ) and then went to the movies with the kids. It's been pretty bad lately. Only nine kids were able to go out of 22, because all of the others were being punished for some offense or other.

Today was much the same story, and the stakes were higher. The circus was in town so David was planning on taking a trip. Unfortunately, the same group of people as the night before were only able to go, plus maybe one or two more. I was kind of feeling up and down the entire day because of a few things that had happened. I've just been thinking so much about raising kids, and what is or isn't the right way to punish them/ reward them. Where is the middle line? It's so difficult, especially with the entire group of 22. There are different family dynamics, different back grounds etc. I guess I wanted so much for all of the kids to have the chance to go, but they really didn't, because they didn't know that they were going to the circus until that day. So they were already punished with no chance to redeem themselves, but I mean, what can you do? You have to keep order some how. We took the few kids who weren't punished to the river in the afternoon. That was really nice. The water was so refreshing and I had fun floating down with the current. We picked some of the jungle school kids up on the way to go with us.

The circus started at 7 so we had some time to go home for a short bit before. I personally did not particularly enjoy it. I kind of suspected what I might be getting myself into and I was correct. The poor animals. That was the main problem. The poor things. What must there lives be like? You just know that once they've outgrown there usefulness they are simply cast aside. The were 5 lions kept in line with a huge whip. I wonder how many times they've been hit with it. They were not happy looking either, and looked like they would prefer to eat the trainer. The elephants had the saddest look in their eye, as people lined up to take a picture on their back. It was as if all the life and will had gone out of them. There were kids working the circus also. They were in a trampoline act, and I just wondered how they were being treated. There was also an act with a woman who basically had on a bedazzled thong and was doing a contortionist act, but it seemed more as if she was bending in every possible way so that she could show her bedazzled crotch off to the world. I mean, it definitely highlighted the best part of human nature. But it was an experience. If anything, I was happy that the kids for the most part picked up on the sadness of the animals. Down here, it's definitely not the states.

Unexpected Surprises

2011-01-30T16:50:00.000-08:00

I can't exactly remember where I left off, I suppose I could check but I'm to lazy. Did I mention when I went walking on the peer with Nelson and Denia, and a Honduran guy asked me to marry him and when I ignored him, he jumped in the ocean and swam along side it? Nelson and Denia got a kick out of it. Then when he left it was just my luck to see him walking randomly down the street again about 2 hours later. That was fun. It's been quite the week. Right now I'm relaxing at Guapos restuarant with the breeze blowing on possibly the most beautiful day I've seen since I've been here, listening to some Tracy Chapman. The sun was shining right onto the normally gray Caribbean water and turned it a light shade of aqua blue and the whole thing is simply beautiful. I'm alone which is rare, just sipping a coke and reflecting.

Zoe, a new volunteer from England arrived on Monday so I spent a few days showing her around. It has been a very laid back time at the hogar. We did two english classes and tried to get some arts and crafts together to fill time and keep the kids busy. I think sometimes Zoey and I enjoy the crafts more than the kids. On Wednesday I was contemplating going to bed and then decided I should probably check my email. Cristy had sent me an email telling me that the next day, 6 new people were coming to stay at the house. Surprise! I looked over at Zoe and told her and we both spent the next hour and a half cleaning, straitening up etc. The house actually looked pretty good when we were done. In the evening the new volunteers arrived. They are from the states, and a little older, but it's kinda nice to have a full house. They're just here for a week and are helping with the new construction site. Cristy had come with them to get them all settled and we got to talking, and she informed me kind of casually that we are moving houses. I kind of did a double take. This was starting to feel like 'home'! When I asked when, she said sometime next week! Surprise #2! The new house is going to be in a completely different neighborhood which is closer to the hogar and more secure. It's also closer to the Congrehal river. It has seven rooms so its bigger as well. At first I was pretty bummed because I like being basically in the center of the city but the more I think about it the better I think it will be. So now it's just time to get ready for the move. (An ice cream man just showed up so I can add eating delicious ice cream to my surprise list). Anyways, later that night Zoe went out to buy some groceries and when she came back she opened with "you'll never believe what I just saw!". She told me she saw a truck full of camels and zebras and deer etc. At first I thought she was kidding, and then she added that after that came huge trucks stacked with cages and in each cage was a lion or tiger and she was right there and this caravan of animals just randomly passed her on the street. How cool would that have been?! Anyways, what it means is that the Circus is in town!! Needless to say I believe we shall hopefully be taking some of the kids to enjoy! I'm excited for sure. Surprise #3.

This weekend I had to make a choice. Denya had invited me to go to her cousins quinceniera in Tela, about an hour away, on Saturday night. Unfortunately, Saturday was also the night of the Hogar end of the month/ birthday celebration. In the end I decided to go with Denya and her family because it was something new and different and I'm really glad I did, but still feel bad for missing the fiesta. I helped Danelia make balloon decorations the night before which was fun. I'm so glad that I get along now better with Danelia. She is the director of the hogar and when I first arrived I was so intimidated by her. I still am a little bit because it's hard to tell sometimes if she's angry at you or not, but I think she approves of me now. She does such an amazing amount of work every day and I respect her so much for it. I think raising 22 kids makes her have the somewhat strict countenance that she does, which is obviously understandable. It was hard though to tell her I wasn't coming to the fiesta because I do want her approval. On Saturday morning, Glenda came to get me at the volunteer house and we went to meet Denia, Nelson and the three little one's, Daniela, Carlitos and Sylvia at the bus terminal. The seven of us hopped onto a bus for Tela and off we went. I didn't get to see all that much of Tela itself because where we were headed was a little community called La Esperanza which is inland down a dirt road. From what I did see though, it will definitely be worth a return trip to take in some beach. We got to their cousins house at about noon. The people of La Esperanza are much like those of La Herradura (the jungle) in Ceiba; poor. It was very pretty back in the town though. There are a few main streets, and it is more like a town mainly because the land is flatter and houses are closer together. There are a few main blocks of houses that the people told me were built by a Canadian group and really helped to turn the squater settlement into and actual town. From there the houses spread out, and the uncles houses was more at the edge. It was maybe half the size of Geny's house, with the kitchen located in a small overhang area outside.The soccer field however was right next door, so it didn't take long for us to put down our bags and head up to play a little futbol. The field was all this type of red, damp clay so after about half an hour we were all filthy. The kids from the town came up to and I got to meet a multitude of cousins. The girls took to me immediately and after soccer we just had fun walking around and talking and laughing. Glenda made a delicious lunch (all of her food is soooo good) and as always gave me a portion way bigger than she should have. After, we went on a short walk and I had no idea where we were going until I saw a few crosses in the grass. We were at the grave yard, and they led me to a certain cross and slighly marked area. Denya, Paola, Geny and Paco's mother was buried there. I truly can't imagine loosing my mother. Denya was slightly out of sorts the whole time, and I think that might have been why. Being so close to her mother brings back all the loss that she tries to bury. After clearing the grave site off we headed back and I spent a little time relaxing in the hammock and playing with Carlitos, the cutest chubby four year old, and then washed up for the fiesta. We all headed out at five to the house where it was. The decorations were gorgeous! They did so much. The family had cut palm fronds and made an arch to walk through. There were two rows of tables with little pink balloon centerpieces, a balloon arch at the end and then the DJ's area with some big speakers. Denia brought me to meet the birthday girl and she looked absolutely beautiful. She was just putting on her make up and I was worried that it was kind of akward to bring a perfect stranger in, but when she finished she stood up and smiled and said 'Kyla!' and gave me the biggest hug like she had known me for ages. That's how it was all night. The family all knew who I was and I was greeted with nothing but smiles and in a way I truly feel like I've found another family and been accepted into theirs. Brenda (the birthday girl!) had a pink dress on with a full skirt, hair perfectly curled and tied up and makeup done beautifully. She insisted right away to take a picture with me. She's so sweet and she's coming to live with Geny's family this week to study at the colegio!

At about seven everyone went to the Catholic church for the service. I had never been to a quinceniera before so it was fun to watch the senoritas (my new girl friends from earlier) all dressed up and walking down the aisle, followed by Brenda. The pastor talked for quite awhile and then we went back to the house to eat and dance. The food was delicious and everyone kept asking me if I was going to dance. Well, I never was really sure, and I wasn't on the dance floor as much as I expected. Mainly because my immediate family (Denya, Glenda, Nelson etc) didn't want to dance and it was for sure different. First of all there was probably a 3:1 guy to girl ratio and I didn't really want to dance with anyone I didn't know. Not that I wasn't asked enough. I was definitely a show piece for the town. Probably 10 different guys asked me to dance, some of them way too persistently. There was one guy who was quite drunk and about every 5 minutes he would come up to me and ask again. They really don't know the word no. But I wasn't overly bothered. It was mostly amusing and verged into annoying only a few times. I did get pulled out to dance three or four times but quickly returned. It didn't help that I didn't know the music, but it was still a good time. I mostly watched as the few couples did the punta, which is a Honduran dance, and talked to Nelson about girl troubles. At about one o'clock Denya and I went to bed. They gave us what I'm pretty sure is the nicest bed in the house and we eventually fell asleep. There was some interesting occurances with one of the drunk guys trying to find the blond girl, but I was never really worried. They would never let anything happen to me. In the morning we got up, got ready, I was again fed too much, and waited for a ride to take us down to Tela to grab the bus. During that time I just was thinking. There is such an amazing sense of family here. Families stay together, or when they are separated almost everyone goes to, for example, a cousin's quinceniera. If one of them needs help, another steps in, even if they themselves are in the middle of hard times, as they almost always are. Everyone can point out cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and proudly introduce them when you pass. To know all of one's family is almost to become part of it. It made me think what a challenge it must be for the hogar kids, which such an emphasis on blood relationships here, to live as they do, or for anyone without the support of their family. It is important in the states but I don 't think the states are anything compared to here. In a way, what else do these people have? Their family is there lifeblood, so of course they stick together. A taxi ride and bus ride later, we arrived in Ceiba and one of the uncles was waiting with his motor bike and offered to take me home. I figured why not, first time on a motorcycle sounds good, so we went zooming through the streets and now I am here, writing on the beach because it was to beautiful day to let pass by. The little surprsies are the best.

A little overwhelming at times

2011-01-25T20:50:00.000-08:00

My power outage lasted two night, and was indeed caused by an unpaid bill. I spent a night at David's beautiful house and was glad I got to say hi to his wife, Anton. The next two days, instead of spending them alone, I invited Denia over, and for the second night Nelson as well. Denia is 17 and Nelson is 16, so the two of them are much more like friends which is nice sometimes. Denia and I worked on some English and she translated several kids books which was really impressive I thought. We also saw the movie Tangled in Spanish, which I thought was absolutely adorable. We had lots of time to talk, and I took the opportunity to probe into her life a little more, or as much as I thought would be okay. I like to know as much as I can about people and how they live and have lived. I learned that her grandmother had 12 kids in all, with 7 surviving. 3 of her aunts and 2 of her uncles alll live close by in the houses near the jungle school. Almost the entire family is together in a little community. Her mother died four years ago, but Denia doesn't know from what. Her father was never a part of her life. She is the oldest of four siblings, but each of her brothers and sisters (besides Paola and Paco) had a different father. She told me that is how it is most the time. With her aunts who live with her, each has kids of their own and that is how it is. They keep it a secret. Her aunt Yessenia had epilepsy, so she is unable to work. Her aunt Glenda has a one year old she needs to care for, so she can't work. They are supported by money that two of her uncles give to her grandmother, and by whatever David can supply to them. She is in school right now and at the top of her class. She has always told me she wants to be a doctor, but I asked what school she wanted to go to, she shook her head and told me that she probably won't get the chance. She will have to get a job to be the only one working in the family. She likes school, but after her two years the she has left, that's most likely it.

I've been wondering a lot what I'm here for. What am I accomplishing? I'm not really teaching English. I'm no teacher. The activities I arange for theh kids, how will they really help? I try really hard, but it's almost impossible to see any difference. It's frustrating at times, when you don't really know if your helping or hindering more. I want to be of use and measure my success in some quantifiable way, but the whole nature of my experienc makes that impossible. More than anything, I'm just hanging out with the kids. Someone told me to just soak in the experience and take as much in as I can. Maybe that's what I should focus on doing, and not put to much pressure on myself to be the perfect teacher. I should be assessing needs and trying to open a window into the lives of most of the worlds population. I need to see what they need and how to help. Is it better to offer opportuinities for a few to exit from poverty? Or to accept that most people will continue to live as they always have, and provide services to them to ease the pain of their lives? It's an interesting quesiton.

I don't know, but I'm exhausted. Today was quite tiring, and I can't really even point to what we did. Classes were in the morning, followed by lunch, nap and then assisting with computer classes. A new volunteer came yesterday, so I've been showing her around. I'm glad she's here so I'm no longer all alone. I think it's a bit overwhelming for her right now, but I hope that she will like it! She's very nice so that was obviously a relief to find out. She says she's a little overwhelmed right now with everything, and who can blame her. I often still get overwhelmed. During the day yesterday we didn't have classes because I was helping distribute clothes and take siszes for the new uniforms for the kids. Each kid gets one set that they have to wash every night and let dry for the next day. I can't even imagine having to wash my clothes everyday and wear the same thing day in and day out. In the afternoon I did a miny lesson with about 8 of the older Hogar kids. It was a million times easier that teaching an entire class. I think I've decided that I like working with individuals a lo more than large groups, but the second is very necessary, because if they don't have anything to do, then they get in trouble. I am so glad I don't have to be in charge of discipline. Danelia and the tias have the hardest job in the world. 24 hours a day, being a mother for 22 kids who all have extremely dark or violent backrounds. They must mold them into people who can take care of themselves. I can't but help think about back home, and the difficulty that people have with one or two kids. It's crazy. I want to write about life at the hogar but am too tired to tonight, maybe soon. good night all

A different lens

2011-01-20T20:20:00.000-08:00

Everyone has a diffierent lens to look at the world. Some people see it as a place of luxury and fun where they have been put on top to enjoy it's pleasures. Others see it as somewhere dangerous where everyone and everything is out to get them. Some see it as only a passing phase, a walk to trudge through until the promise on the other side arrives. There are millions of lenses. My lens is that of injustice and unfairness. The more I look, the more dissatisfied I become. And to a point, the more helpless I feel. We live on a planet where the richest 20% of people account for 3/4 of the worlds income. That leaves 80% living on only 1/4 of all the wealth in the world. Thousands of kids whose lives should just be beginning, die from disease and neglect. I see this and it makes me so frustrated. I want everyone to have the childhood I did, and the access to resources that I do. It's so difficult to face the facts that it will never happen. I try to turn myself around and look at what I can do to help, and I am overwhelmed. There is too much unfairness, and the problems are too big. There are millions of kids lacking education, millions of people dying of treatable diseases, simply too many people. How can anyone truly make a difference? What is the best way to approach the problems that are everywhere? Is it political, to send change from above? Is that the fastest way to change things? Or is it better to educate individuals so that they can in turn educate others? But that method is so much slower and never fool proof, and requires so much money and resources. Education is such a fickle thing. I can see it here. The kids have a lot to gain from being able to read and write and do math, but how many of them are actually going to leave their homes and the places they were raised to find a job that will make them more money? How many boys are still going to leave school after 6th grade to work, grow up a laborer and have trouble feeding their families? How many girls are still going to get pregnant too soon and have a newborn baby to care for? Some people may say that it's okay that they live how they always have, because it is a simpler life and they are accustomed to it, but they all know that there is an easier life out there, where they don't have to watch their children die because they can't get medical care, or work day in and day out to haul wood and water to their dirt houses in the mountains. I want to give these kids the world, but I don't even know how to do that with they few that I see everyday. I feel stretched by limited supplies when I want to do a craft. I feel constricted by a lack of people to help each kid with their work. Yet what they are getting is better than what they would have without any help. I just feel so much that it's not enough. I think of how some kids in the states are doted on from the moment they are born, who have mothers who stay home just to stimulate their minds and help them with their work. How are these kids ever going to compete. And even if they do, what about all the thousands of others who are lacking the same thing? The world mandates that someone has to be the laborers, and it's only the luck of the draw to say which those are.

It's overwhelming. I open my mind and all of this comes crashing in, so I almost need to narrow it to avoid the paralaysis that these thoughts cause. I need to act somehow, and do something. I need to set little goals that are achievable. Help Enis learn long division, work with Daniel so that he can learn more English. These things will help. These things will give them a foundaiton. That's all we can do. We can't completely control anyones life. We can just give them a base to work off. I wish I could divert the path of wealth in the world but obviously that doesn't happen.

Things would be so much easier if I could just ignore all the problems and injustices I see, and live my life out comfortably within the protection of my american shell. I feel like this is appropriate -"The world is full of miserable places. One way of living comfortably is not to think about them or, when you do, to send money." -Tracy Kidder. I'm not saying I would forget everything, but I could work at my life and my job, take trips to places and send money where needed. Which is, of course, everywhere. I would be happy, with a family of my own and a life of probable comfort. I've been reading too many books about people who make a difference. Greg Mortenson from "Three Cups of Tea" who devoted his life to building schools in pakistan. Paul Farmer from "Mountains beyond Mountains" who created a medical clinic in Haiti, and then convinced the world to treat impoverished people with second line TB drugs. I want to help and work towards something so worthy, but I feel like I'm not brave enough or good enough. I don't have the capability, and I would be scared to go without the security of a traditional job. I couldn't pack everything up the way they do. Where am I going to go? What am I going to do? I frankly have no idea. So for now, it's better that I focus on the small.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpYeekQkAdc

It's always something

2011-01-20T10:24:00.003-08:00

I am officially back in Honduras! Safe and sound. I had a few mishaps getting here but all turned out well. At this moment however the volunteer house has no power. I am relatively sure that the company cut the power, which makes me unsure if Cristy paid the bill.... I would much rather have satisfaction in the knowledge that the entire neighborhood is out, which would at least allow me to hope that it will come back on, but no- my neighbors house is glowing like a Christmas tree. Awesome. So I have no access to Internet for the night, no tv, and no one to keep me company. I guess I'll read. Which I am more than happy to do. I also still don't have gas so I can't cook anything, and my plan to use the microwave was obviously foiled. Looks like its peanut butter for dinner. I am bummed though that the milk and veggies I just bought will probably spoil. Looks like peanut butter for the morning too.

My last days in Costa Rica were very enjoyable. I didn't make it out to the beach, but we went to a third volcano called the Poas and I could see inside the crater perfectly. It was super neat because the pool in the crater was spewing steam. I kept imagining the column of lava that lays underneath it. Kinda exciting. On my last day I had some time to read and relax, drive up to a super high point above the central valley where there were picture perfect views of the city and cow pastures and everything, ate some amazing food and then headed to the airport. In a summery, my time in Costa Rica consisted of Rainbows, Waterfalls and Volcanoes. I even had a rainbow to send me off as I drove towards the airport. At the entrance I tried to pay my exit fee with my card, but it was denied. I was thinking, shoot the company cut it off because I didn't tell them I was going to Costa Rica! Jorge was so nice and paid it for me, and then I went into the airport to wait, because I was a tad bit early. I checked my account and there was exactly $2.10 in my account. No wonder it was rejected. 4 days before I had received an email saying that my mom transferred funds, so I assumed they were in my account, but as it turns out it takes three days to process and the past three days had been a weekend and then a holiday. At this point I got a little worried, because in my wallet I had about $3.00 worth of Lempiras, so in all $5.10 to my name. ( feel free to check my math). When you are traveling that is never a good thing, and as it turned out it wasn't. My trip back to Honduras was probably the worst planned travel leg I have ever made. I didn't bring a phone that would work in Honduras, I didn't have my keys, I didn't have the phone numbers of people I would need stashed somewhere, and I was operating on a single email that said they would get someone to pick me up at the airport at nine at night when my flight got in, but never confirmed who. So when I got into San Pedro Sula it really shouldn't have been a surprise that no one was there to pick me up. I wandered around a little bit, fished for phone numbers, and then tried to figure out what to do. Normally I wouldn't have had a problem, because I could take a taxi and get a hotel for the night, but since I had no money that wasn't a choice. I tried to call Cristy (who is on a mission and therefore unavailable- which also doesn't help my power outage problem) but that didn't work. Lenner didn't answer either. So I stood around waiting for something to present itself. Normally I wouldn't consider that the best strategy, but as it turned out it worked. My fuzzy plan was to try to find a cab with the three dollars I had to take me to the Hilton where I could either convince them to rent me a room and let me pay in the morning when my mom transferred funds, or have them help me get a hold of Lenner. When everyone was clearing out someone came up to me and said that I looked lost. Well, I kind of was. He was from New York and had his whole family there, and was waiting for an uncle to get off the plane. He offered to help and recommend a hotel, so I went over to see what his family recommended. They passed my test of whether I should trust them because first it was a family, second they were obviously waiting for someone, and third I had a gut feeling it was okay. So when they offered to give me a ride to the Hilton I figured it was safer then taking a random taxi, which I wasn't even sure I could secure with 3 dollars. To me, they were basically a God send. Someone was watching out for me that night and an opportunity somehow presented itself. They let me use a phone where I got ahold of Nancy and told her I was headed to the Hilton. She said she would call Lenner, and to call when I got to the hotel. I was thinking she would pick me up from there. The family turned out to be Chicken farmers, and were very kind and funny. They dropped me off and I went in to see what would happen next. I was ready to bargain for them to let me stay the night, but Lenner had already set up a room for me. They asked my name, handed me a key and I went right up. Once there I could relax a little. Things had turned out almost as good as they could have. I'm not saying that I'm proud of planning things as I did, but it worked. My next step was to get a hold of my mom. I had no money to make a phone call, and of course the Internet cost money. I went downstairs and eventually convinced the guy to let me use the hotel computer. Facebook is very much my friend. The chat wasn't working, but I sent a little post out for someone to help me contact my mom or sister, got two responses in a minute, my sister messaged me and then she told my mom to sort out the money issue. She deposited the money in the morning, I went to the atm, grabbed a cab to the bus station and hopped right on. Finally.

Since I didn't have keys, I went over to the hogar first. Oh my gosh it is good to be back. Hahah as I walked up to the gate, Carlos ran up and screamed out "es Kyla es Kyla!!!!". A huge smile lit my face, and I was impatient for them to unlock the gate. I gave lots of hugs to the 6 kids who were there, because the rest were on an outing. Later I played basketball with Carlos, and Littlest Petshop with Paola. After about 3 hours the rest arrived and Rosa gave me a huge hug jumping up and down. Haha hugs for everyone, and then I settled back in to normality. I delivered Natalie's letters to Gerson, and he kept her picture of her family close and out of harm. He told me that he missed his Madrina a lot, and Ethan also. All the kids related to me how they ate tamales for Ethan's going away party. Just thinking about it makes me sad. It's so strange to be in the house alone! Especially without light hehe. I was so tired when I got back yesterday which made me semi grumpy. I was feeling funny and maybe missed my family a tiny bit. But I skyped my sister last night and after that, the feeling passed, coupled with watching Mama Mia. Its very difficult to be sad while watching that. And today I feel much myself again, and happy to be here.

It rains in the rain forest

2011-01-15T16:35:00.000-08:00

I took a road trip to see a volcano! We left on Thursday morning to visit Volcano Arenal, which is the second most active volcano in the world. Unlike most volcano's, it is supposedly a perfect cone, and during the day when it's clear you can see smoke rising from it, and at night you can even see the lava. Supposedly. I never technically got to see it unfortunately, because as I found out it rains in the rain forest. A lot. We stayed in a nice hotel that advertises volcano views, and it never cleared up. It was a slight bummer but I didn't mind all that much. I still had a really fun time because the country is beautiful. It just means I'll have to come back sometime. To get there it was about a 5 hour drive. We left early because of the traffic from Palmares, which is the second largest beer festival in the world, but still hit plenty of the traffic. I enjoyed the drive because the country is beautiful, and eventually we just drove on a one lane, windy rode that rose up into the cloud bank. After about 3 hours, I saw signs on the road for a nutella and banana crepe, so of course I had to pull over. I drove down a windy dirt path for about 3 miles and arrived at a hotel. I got a coffee and crepe and it was delicious. On our way down there was a sign that pointed to a waterfall, so we decided to walk over and see what it looked like. We were thinking it would be around the corner but it turned out to be about a mile hike down a super steep, muddy slope. I was wearing jeans and flip flops, and ended up taking my flip flops off, and just walking down barefoot, squishing my toes in the mud. It was so pretty and fun and the waterfall, when we finally arrived, was beautiful. It was an adventure, though my feet were quite gross at the end of it. Nothing a little water can't cure. Back up was a little more challenging, but it was all good fun.

We got to the hotel mid afternoon and then went to check out some hot springs. The hot springs ended up being at a really, really nice resort so they were unlike one's I've been to before. There were different pools and even a water slide. It was raining for most of the time too so the contrast was nice. They sold two day passes so the next day we went back at night which was even cooler. It wasn't raining but you could here the rain forest noises, and I even got to see a few stars through a small break in the clouds. To start off the second day we went to a place called the hanging bridges. It was probably another 10 miles up the road, and it passed by this beautiful lake that supposedly has perfect views of the volcano, but the view of the fog bank was nice as well- kinda ha. The hanging bridges was a two mile walk through the rain forest, over several suspended bridges. And boy did it rain, but it is amazing how much the canopy is like a big umbrella. The rain mutes so many noises, and puts a lot of the animals asleep but it is also very peaceful. After I had this delicious drink called agua dulce which i love and went to the supermarket to buy some to bring back with me.

We were going to visit another waterfall but Jorge doesn't have the best sense of direction. We turned down the incorrect dirt road and didn't realize it for about 5 miles. It was ok though, and raining anyway. I felt like such a nerd, because I totally ended up talking about my Theory of Knowledge class and the 'ways of knowing'. It was pretty funny but I've always been good about choosing friends who talk about the same type of stuff. The more I traveled through Costa Rica, the more I saw how developed and progressive it was. There are people with money here, both foreigners and Costa Ricans. I'm sure there are poor areas of Costa Rica, but as a tourist I did not pass through them. I also noticed that Costa Rica is much more 'white' than Honduras or other areas. Even native Costa Rican's have whiter skin, not including the foreigners that live here. I don't know if it is strange to notice such things or not. That would make sense though looking at its history, because when the Europeans colonized central america, there was a very small native influence in the area, allowing almost complete European colonization. So far I've enjoyed my stay, though I am missing the kids! It'll be good to be back soon :)

Costa Rican Rainbows

2011-01-12T21:13:00.000-08:00

I am safe in Costa Rica! My friend from a college meeting, Jorge, came to pick me up and we headed back to his house. I was getting nervous in the air plane, thinking what if he didn't come! What was I going to do? But all went according to plan. We went to his grandfathers house first to pick up the car that I would be driving around for the rest of the trip. Since he doesn't have his licence yet, I am the primary driver. The car of course has to be a very nice car which is also stick shift. I am so scared something will happen to it while I'm driving. Especially getting used to Costa Rican driving (which is much better than Honduran, thank god, but still a challenge). I made it up the enormous hill where he lives, and when I stepped out I looked at the view and it was absolutely incredible. From his house you can see all of San Jose, and at that moment a perfect rainbow was arched over the city. The houses stretched in both directions, and the clouds clumped in random places as the sun streamed down. It was so pretty. At night all of the lights glitter far below you. Jorge's family is very nice and are taking very good care of me. I appreciate their hospitality so much. We just relaxed for the rest of the day because I was exhausted from my 14 hour plane ride (which went from LA to New York, down to Orlando and then finally Costa Rica).

This morning I slept in, and then Jorge and I headed over to the Volcano Irazu. I got go take another try at driving, this time for about 40 minutes, and I think I'm getting the hang of it. The one way streets are slightly confusing but GPS is an amazing navigation system. I drove up the mountain and half way up we entered a cloud. It seemed like it was misting but really it was just the water from the cloud hitting the windshield. When we got to the top, we were still in the cloud and couldn't see anything. I had resigned myself to not being able to see the Volcano, but we got out to walk along the edge so at least I could say I had been to the top, even though we couldn't see. The cloud was so dense, but I was the ash fields at my feet and enjoyed the freezing air that wrapped me up in it. We kept walking along the border fence just to see how far it went, when suddenly all of the clouds parted and I could see perfectly into the crater. I was on the left side of the crater and as I looked down, a rainbow formed right over the pool inside the Volcano's crater. The water was a brilliant turquoise blue, about 800 meters down. To the left was a flat area with ash. It was beautiful. I could look strait out and see the tops of the clouds and even watch the next cloud flying towards me, reminding me of the dark cloud from James and the Giant Peach. It would engulf us for five minutes, and then pass and things would again be clear. We hiked to the highest point where supposedly on clear days you can see both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans, and though we could see neither it was still a pretty view of the clouds all around. We stopped for lunch on the way down and as we were driving away, the most amazing, perfect double rainbow I have ever seen appeared right behind us. Since I was driving, I could only see it from my mirrors but it was amazing. I attempted to pull over but decided against it. It stretched all the way across in two solid beautiful rows. Someone is smiling at me. :)

Home

2011-01-12T20:41:00.000-08:00

It was so strange going home. I arrived at the airport and my dad and Valerie were waiting for me, along with some of my best friends Carrie, Don, April, Rentao and Beckett. It was the best homecoming I could have asked for. We went and grabbed some Mexican food, which I had missed dearly, and then it was home. My bird had missed me, and later when I saw my dogs they were excited too. Of course my cats were indifferent but it was expected. I spent the time with friends and family and it was just a blur of catching up with everyone. Movie nights, games of risk, shopping, dinners, lunches etc. I visited school of course and saw all of my amazing teachers. Rancho is my third home ha. It was a really nice time, but it was odd too. It's difficult to explain in some ways. I felt like I was walking around with a pit in my stomach; a feeling that something wasn't quite right. It was as if I wasn't completely comfortable to be home, but at the same time it was as if I had never left. I fell back into my old routine, my old friend, my family, so easily. I don't know if I had expected all of my experiences to change me or the way I acted but it was odd how familiar it all seemed. I asked myself earlier if I will simply be able to leave Honduras and fall back into my old life- and it seems as if the answer is yes and i'm not sure if I like that.

There is so much in the states. The roads are well kept, there are no huts on the sides of mud hills, no starving dogs running around, or cows in the streets. Life is so completely different. Not to say that there are not problems in the States, because there are many, but where I live and the life I am part of seems so much easier. It's strange to connect two completely different life styles into one, but this is how the world is, no matter if it makes sense or not.

Copan

2011-01-04T19:19:00.000-08:00

Despite our rough start, Copan was absolutely amazing. The ruins are incredible. We got up early to have some time to walk around them and decided to get a tour guide to show us around. Ethan and I didn't want to spend all the money for the guide, so we found another group to split it with. The group was 6 people, and they came from all over the world. There was a woman from Mexico, a man from San Salvador, a man from India, a woman from Finland and two men from the Ukraine. Such an odd group but it was fun. Our tour guide was very funny and did a great job about explaining in detail almost everything about the grounds. He had a very good laugh, and the other group found him absolutely hilarious and often began laughing at things that I must have missed the joke in, but hey. It was fun. What was supposed to be a two hour tour turned into four hours, but the time went by very quickly. We wandered through the ruins hearing the history, and it was so easy for me to imagine the king in his palace, the workers working on the intricate carvings that were in every area of the grounds, a market place in the center with people selling goods, a boy from the rural towns coming to the city for the first time, the sacrifices in the amphitheater area. Everything was so vivid. And then to imagine what it must have looked like when it was truly all built up, covered with stucco and painted. That would have been something to see. The day was beautiful and we couldn't have asked for anything prettier. There was a really nice breeze that when it ran through the trees, the leaves would come falling down like rain. I thought that was one of the prettiest things I have seen, almost like the old Mayan gods were whispering something to the people who came to visit. Copan was at the center of Mayan culture, and it was the city where the kings lived. We learned about the old dynasty's, the symbolism of their sculpture, and many more things. I enjoyed just sitting in the center of one of the old temples, soaking in the sun and feeling the breeze on my skin. It was so peaceful. They say that if you walk barefoot around the grass in the square, you can soak in some of the energy because it is a sacred place. I felt like I took in a little.

At about noon, we went to grab a little lunch and then went through the museum. I typically enjoy museums, but I think I was somewhat tired. After walking around a bit I laid down on a bench and fell asleep. It was quite nice. Soon after we took a cab back to the hotel and just rested. I read a good part of my book (which I love and highly recommend. It is called Mountains beyond Mountains by Tracee Kidder. It is about the life of a doctor who opened a medical complex in Haiti, and then expanded his organization to fight tuberculosis in areas such as Peru and Russia. It is extremely inspirational and has been making me think... a lot). We went out to wander around the city a bit more in the evening. You actually can't really call it a city. It is much more of a town. Copan is also completely different than La Ceiba. It is a tourist town if you ever saw one. It is clean, well put together, and their are almost as many tourists as Hondurans walking around. There are some more upscale restaurants, and shops are open until about 9:00, versus 5 which is when everything closes in Ceiba. It was kind of a nice change of pace. Definitely less active than what we are used to. We did some souvenir shopping and then grabbed some dinner at a delicious pizza place.

This morning we woke up late, I read for a bit more and then we went out for some brunch. We spent the afternoon in the central square, simply people watching and I hugely enjoyed that quite time of doing nothing. It is rare that I do nothing, but it did let me think. My mind wandered as I watched people. I wondered about their stories, the stories of the two little old ladies gossiping on the wall across for us, of the little boy selling ice cream, of the tourists that walked back and forth. I thought about the huge inequality that is everywhere, and the seeming impossibility of ever changing it. The unfairness of the ability I have of going to places like Copan for two days, flying home and then visiting Costa Rica before returning to La Ceiba, while most of the kids I work with and love might not ever have the opportunity to leave the country. I thought about the houses and conditions these people live in, and wondered how I would feel when I come back to my house. And then I wondered what I am going to do about it? No one would blame me if I go home, go to college, get a good job and help on my spare time. In fact I would be praised for it. But will I be able to live with that? In a way, will I be able to forget everything, and be okay with living my privileged american life? I honestly don't know. What bothers me is that I think I might be. Just things to think about and wonder and ponder. I came back to reality as it was time to head to the bus and catch a ride back to San Pedro Sula. Thankfully, the ride was uneventful and I was picked up by Lenner, the nicest man in the world, and am staying in the Hilton ready to catch my plane tomorrow. I shall see many of you shortly!

Travel is awesome...

2011-01-02T21:10:00.000-08:00

A complete fiasco, might be a good way to describe today. Someone or something did not want us to come to Copan tonight, but we made it anyways. Ethan is officially leaving on the 9th of January, so before he left he wanted to see Copan. Copan is about a 7 hour trip from La Ceiba if all goes well, where one of the center hubs of Mayan culture used to be. We decided to take a bus on Sunday (today) to go over there, stay two nights and then head back. I would stop in San Pedro Sula to catch my flight and Ethan would keep going to La Ceiba.

Our adventure started out last night when Ethan got a sudden high fever that lasted about 4 hours. It was very strange and we knew that we couldn't go in the morning if he still had it. Somehow the fever cleared up that night and he was perfect in the morning. So away we went to the bus station, hoping to catch the nine o clock Mirna bus. We had several choices for buses. The first was Hedman Alas, which is a luxury coach bus but would cost us more. Thinking we could save some money, we opted for Mirna, which supposedly leaves every hour on the hour. Our next choice was what time to leave. We wanted to catch the 1:00 bus out of San Pedro Sula to Copan. We figured we would risk the 9 o clock bus and still arrive in plenty of time, and if we didn't quite make it there was still a bus at 2:00. All would be well. When we got to the bus station, we discovered that there was not a 9 o clock bus as we had been told, but the next bus would come at 10 30. Well shoot. I guess there wasn't really anything we could do about that. Instead of waiting around, we took a cab back to the house to hang out, and then came back with some extra time to spare just in case. We waited outside on the curb with our bags patiently, along with several other groups who also had bought tickets, including a couple from New Zealand (as we would later find out). 10 30 came and went, and still there was no bus. At 11, our hopes of catching the 2 o clock bus disappeared so we settled for the 3 o clock. We would still be fine. I went into the station to inquire about where our bus might be, and didn't receive a strait answer. Oh, there would be buses coming at 11 30 that could take us. At this point I become slightly worried. I'm beginning to think that maybe we shouldn't bother going because I don't know another alternative if we miss the bus. The New Zealand couple is also getting frustrated. Just past 11 30 three buses do arrive, but every single one of them is completely full. They tell us we can come if we want to stand. Well of course I don't want to stand for a three hour bus ride. I bought my ticket and expect a seat. One thing you realize when dealing with things like this, is that this really isn't the US. There isn't much emphasis on customer service, and there's no one to complain to. The New Zealand couple and ourselves finally decide to take a cab over to San Pedro Sula. It's 12 and if the cabby drives quickly we can make it in 2.5 hours. We find a cabby willing to do it (for $25 each) and start on our way, slightly disappointed that our attempt to save money backfired and we payed more than we would have on the reliable Hedman Alas. But things happen and we're going now.

Unfortunately, we didn't go for long when the cab was forced to pull over because we had a flat tire. Awesome. We pulled over in a little Pulperia and looked at the tire and I was slightly terrified that we had been driving on that. Our driver jacks up the car to switch the tire out, but when he pulls out his spare tire it is quite obviously the wrong size. He puts it on, tightens the bolts but then shakes his head and says he doesn't have confidence with it. I figured that was okay though, because I certainly didn't want to be driving with that tire. He called another cab and ten minutes later we were again driving to San Pedro. Our new cabby was quite a bit speedier than the old, pulling out into the other lane to pass cars, accelerating and then quickly breaking to avoid hitting cars in front of us. All while texting and talking on his self phone. I kept checking the clock as 3 o clock crept up, but it still seemed like we would make it. It would be close but I was pretty sure it would be fine. Or it would have been fine if the driver knew where we were going once we got to San Pedro Sula. When we told him the bus station, he looked slightly puzzled. I grew worried as we drove closer and closer to the center of city and he still didn't look like he knew where he was going. I think he was hoping to encounter the station on the main road. When that plan failed, he finally pulled over to ask directions. 3 o clock passed and we rolled into the station 10 minutes later than we should have. The New Zealand couple were heading elsewhere and hopped on a bus, and Ethan and I went in the station hoping that there might be another company with a bus leaving to Copan. Because if there wasn't, we weren't quite sure what we would do.

We were in luck! We found a bus leaving at 3 30 for Copan! It wasn't the nicest but it was comfy. Once we were on we finally felt at ease. We would make it fine, laugh about our worries and have a good time. While on the bus, a clown came on to do a little skit then gather up some money. Ethan told me later that he was super nervous because he had heard of people that dressed as clowns and went on busses and robbed people. I guess we got lucky that our clown wasn't threatening. I nice man next to us gave us some tangerines, and we passed the time looking at the beautiful landscape. About 2 hours after we got on, the bus driver called to us to tell us we were in Copan. I looked around and knew that we weren't in the Copan we were supposed to be in. I asked, somewhat angrily, how this was Copan. Apparently, our bus only went to the entrance of the Copan province which was still an hour away from where we were supposed to be. They dropped us off there and continued in another direction just as night was falling. A few people came up to us asking if we wanted a hotel there. Well of course we didn't, we still needed to get to the ruins that day. There was one taxi there who said he could take us for $50. I attempted to negotiate down but couldn't do it. They had us stuck. We had to get there and he knew it. Also, taxi's don't like to drive to Copan at night because he was explaining to me that the road was dangerous and that sometimes drunk people wander out and get hit. I don't know. It was a slightly confusing conversation.

We got in the cab and started off, and then stopped and for some reason the drivers switched to two young guys. Ethan and I glanced at each other. Uh oh. So sketchy. Neither of us knew where we were going, there were two young guys driving and it was night time. Scenes from taken kept running through my head. As we continued I became a little more comfortable, that was until the road got absolutely terrible. There was no street lights at all on a highway with random pot holes and dirt patches on it. When cars came in the opposite direction, there was a point where you couldn't see the road well and just had to hope there wasn't a turn. The road was so curvy and when the driver turned a hard right it sounded like the metal frame was touching the pavement. At certain turns I had a death grip on my waterbottle. Ethan and I both decided that we could add it to one of our near death experiences. And then it started raining. As we neared Copan we were pulled over by the police. They asked to see the driver's ID, the other guy's ID, and then Ethans as well. For some reason they excluded me. They seemed to be debating over something, I have no idea what, but they did let us through. Finally we made it at 8:00 to the Iguana Azul, the little hostel we were staying. $55 dollars each and about 11 hours later we were there. Of course then we found that instead of two beds, there was one double. Awesome....

It's a new year

2010-12-31T23:44:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to everyone! 2010 is officially over, and the new year just beginning! I wish everyone the best. I awaited the new year with the kids at the hogar. We ate a feast of turkey, and then later had cake and ice cream for dessert. The kids put on an awesome program of singing and dancing, of which I was the judge for the talent show. Some of the highlights were Venancio and Moises's mock fight/ dance in which they selected some lucky volunteers from a group who is visiting to dance the them. Extremely funny. The smaller girls danced a punta together, and Rosa did a solo dance while Maribel sang. Everyone did beautifully and fun with it. Later we all had some time to talk and dance and play, while we awaited the new year. Finally it came with the sounds of hundreds of fireworks and a fireworks show right in front of us. We clapped and celebrated and I got 5 new years kisses from the kids. I truly can't believe that it is 2011. Even with the celebration, it doesn't feel like it has changed! But so it is.

Thursday was an amazing day, and definitely a highlight so far of my entire experience. After classes, Ethan and I stayed with the jungle school kids and the two of us took 4 of them on a hike to the waterfall. Even though they live right by, none of them have ever been to it, mainly because it costs a little over a dollar to enter the park (for a Honduras- foreigners are more of course). Denia, Nelson, Geny and Alan all went with us for about a 2 hour uphill hike. The waterfall was just as beautiful as last time. It is so tall, and when you go under the spray it is an extremely exhilarating feeling. The kids were all freezing cold, but they were amazed by it. When I heard them telling the story later, I could tell in their voice how happy there were to have gone. Geny seemed completely stoked on life. Oh my goodness. Nelson found 2 dead snakes at the base of the waterfall. One of them was enormous. Over 8 feet long if not more. It was a big black boa of some sort, and both of them must have fallen from the top of the waterfall. The poor things. Imagine just swimming in the river and then suddenly the river ends and you fall. Well one of them thought it would be a good idea to put it around my shoulders. Let me tell you- not a good idea. I would almost prefer an alive 8 foot snake. It was just dead weight. Ethan's face though when he picked it up was absolutely priceless. A mixture between amazement, disgust and sheer terror. Eventually we headed back and stopped to swim in the river an hour later. I was happily soaking my feet since I was dry when they decided that wasn't enough and threw me in. Somehow Ethan avoided that fate though even though he was sitting right next to me. Must have been because he didn't react when they splashed him. ha. Oh we also saw 2 tucans which was exciting. Ethan and I spent the entire way back arguing with the kids that there aren't tigers in Honduras. They are convinced that there are, but we keep telling them that they are Jaguars, not tigers! They don't listen. Compound that with the fact that I told them that the 'birds' they see are actually bats, and they definitely think that I am crazy.

We didn't get back to the houses until about 6, so it was just getting dark. Even at the base of the road there is still a good 20 minute hike up to Geny's house. We started up, stopped at Nelson's house and then continued. I am so glad I thought to bring a gallon of water. Last time Ethan and Natalie stayed in the jungle, Natalie got really sick. They were careful to use our water for us to make any juices because of that. Last night though was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Truly. Living how they live is foreign to me, and the people are so generous and kind. Geny's house is a dirt floor shack with an tin roof and a woodfire stove. It has one section of the room portioned off for sleeping, where there are 4 beds. 9 people live in the house. And they gave Ethan and I each our own bed. Of course they wouldn't listen to any of our protests. Also, I have never felt so bad eating food in my life. They fed us so well and it was absolutely delicious also. Chicken, beans, cheese and tortillas. I could tell though that everyone else didn't get nearly as much as we did. I felt like I was in a movie or a painting, or something the entire time. Outside of the house there were bugs and frogs making their nightly noises. The stars shone brightly and there was a slight glow in the sky. From the path you could see the light from La Ceiba. Inside the house, the only lights were two gas candles. The ladies were huddled around the table making bread from the wood stove/ oven. They stalked coals into the oven portion, put in the pans with bread dough in, and then closed the oven with a special type of leaf to keep in the heat. The entire room flickered from the light and I just sat there in amazement, attempting to realize where I was and what I was seeing. It is so strange to think how they live every day, how they grew up living and probably will live in the future. There is no light except the candle. No water except what you haul from the river. Nothing to cook with unless there is plenty of wood. No food unless you have money from some sort of work that doesn't make much, unless of course you can catch something yourself. It is truly incredible, and to be part of that for even one night was an amazing experience.

We woke up, were served another delicious breakfast in which they gave us way more food than they should have, and then went to visit Lucia's house. It was about another 20 minutes further up the mountain, but there was one point where we came to a clearing and you could see all of La Ceiba, and the ocean beyond. It was a perfect day out and the view was amazing. Geny climbed a tree to get us Coconuts, we went back down to Geny's and said our goodbye's and thank you's, left some money and then headed down to the road to go back to the house. We of course managed to miss our bus so we hitchhiked with Denia, Geny, Glenda and Carlitos down to the road. Denia and Geny came back to the house to skype with Ana and Natalie, and then we got ready for the fiesta this night. Quite amazing. Everything.

It's Christmas Time

2010-12-29T06:17:00.000-08:00

It's been a long time since I've written. I find that as things become more routine, it becomes more difficult to write. I am making the shift from a vacation spot to somewhere that I am living. Though I am more used to things here as they are, that doesn't mean that the constant flurry of activity around HHK has lessened. It actually increased incredibly during the holidays. Christmas finally came! Every kids dream, and this Christmas nearly put the kids in heaven I believe. My family arrived with four huge suitcases full of presents and supplies, just for the kids. I couldn't believe it. It took hours to sort through it, but luckily Danelia, the director and 'mother' for the kids, came to save us and delegate what gift should go for which kid. We eventually got the clothes sorted out, the sandals distributed, and all the many toys relegated to extremely lucky kids.

One thing I realized was that you don't realize how much you miss people until you actually get to see them. It was so exciting for me to watch my family step off the bus. I also forgot for quite awhile how short I was, bus was quickly reminded when everyone once again towered over me. Skylar is about my height now or will be soon, and Danielle is super tall. I've been accustomed to being on the taller side here in Honduras! I started talking to Skylar in Spanish and had to switch my language over. The week with them was spent very nicely. The day after they got in, we went up to the jungle school for the christmas party to hand out presents. Ethan and I distributed all of the presents as fairly as we could and then the kids had fun whacking a piñata. After the fiesta, I wanted to show my parents Geny's house so we all made the trek up there, with the 22 hogar kids in tow as well. Well, technically I didn't make the treck because I got a ride. As we were first starting up, one of the boys shows up with a horse and asks me if I want to jump on. Without hesitating I said yes, and enjoyed an amazing ride all the way up to the top of the mountain, and had fun waving as we passed everyone else. Denia was amazing, because she was leading the horse and was hauling up the hill so quickly. After our quick visit, we descended and spent some time swimming in the river. The jungle school kids all made this enormous tower of people by standing on each others shoulders, while the river current passed by. It was extremely impressive.

Next day we visited Cayos Cochinos. The day started out beautifully, even with a rainbow around the islands, but towards the end the rain caught up with us. You still can't beat the warm and crystal blue water though. We all enjoyed snorkeling around the reef and watching the fish. I love being in water like that. Right when we got into the water I saw an enormous barracuda! It was a little nerve racking but neat nonetheless. We made a trek into one of the islands to search for snakes as well. The pink boa lives on the islands and its the only place in the world where you can find them. Mom was the first to spot one surprisingly, even before our guide. We ate at a spot on a smaller island where there is a little community, and while the meal was delicious fried fish, we are relatively certain that our problems later originated from that same meal. Every single one of us, me included, got sick. Typical gringo's. I was surprised that I did because I haven’t gotten a stomach sickness since I came. But most of the rest of the trip was filled with interesting bodily functions. Christmas eve was kind of a bummer. I watched 8 hours of crime scene shows. Half way through my marathon I got fed up and took a cipro pill. Cipro completely clears out almost all bacteria in your body but 4 hours later I was feeling perfect. I had to miss helping Professor Kenya make tamales, but I did make it to the fiesta that night. Danielle at this point was the only healthy one. Chris and Skylar had to stay back, and while mom came she had to leave early. Not exactly how I had planned Christmas but you can't always plan for these things. I at least got to be Santa for the 22 kids! That was really neat handing out all the presents. Not a kid left unhappy. There were so many clothes, toys and jewelery being opened. Minor walked away with a half a quart bag full of marbles. I was so happy to be there and watch them. They deserved it. Each one of them. At exactly midnight there were fireworks everywhere. We walked out on the street and it was like a battlefield because loud booms were coming from every direction. So cool.

Christmas itself was extremely laid back. The Christmas celebration here is always on Christmas eve, so we just hung out at the hotel and played card games. David took us to see the property in the afternoon and later we spent three hours assembling a foosball table. Mom and I put together a million pieces but now they have a fully functioning table and love it. We had a Christmas dinner at Pizza Hut, and then headed back to the hotel. The next few days were rainy so we had to cancel our plan to hike to the waterfall, but I still enjoyed staying with my family and playing spoons and BS. It was sad when I had to say goodbye. I felt more homesick than I have all trip, because I wasn't going home with them. But not to worry, I am over any homesickness now. It was a passing weakness. The boys (Geny, Paco and Alan) stayed with us last night again. Ethan made a rather humorous discovery. When the boys shower, they keep their underwear on. We know this because after their shower, they hand us their clothes and their underwear is always wet. Finally we figured it out and confronted them about it, and they were confused to find that yes, we do indeed bathe nude. They were getting angry at us for telling them that they don't need their underwear in a shower. I was dying of laughter.

Recovered

2010-12-15T20:38:00.000-08:00

I am finally better after almost a week out. I self prescribed myself some anti-biotics and the next day i was mucho mejor. Thank goodness. I despise staying home sick, even if I was productive. Yesterday I decided I wanted to make some Christmas Cards so I got ready to make a quick trip out to buy some construction paper. However, when I went to grab my money it had completely disappeared. I was keeping my large bills in the bottom drawer of my closet and taking them out as needed. I had just reloaded my stash the day before so I was positive that I had money. I looked around and slowly spread out my search for the missing $200. It was my fault somehow I was sure, because I am always the first to misplace things. But no, it wasn't there. Then I had a realization. The rat took it. There was no other solution. Our friendly house rat that is still lurking somewhere, nibbling at the corners of our food. So reluctantly I set out in search. Previously it had been around the closet area, so I began to pull out the drawers. Not with my hand mind you, I kind of pushed them out with a broom handle, just to be safe. The first drawer came out and I heard something pattering, little feet running across the floor. Eww. One by one the drawers came out until the last one. I pulled it out and in the back I saw the rats tail flash to the other side. I will admit that this entire time I was hopping from foot to foot. There was no bravery involved in this. It was out of complete necessity. Finally I looked in and he was there, huddled right behind my $200. The rat freaking burgled my money and now was guarding it from me. I put the broom handle in and he zoomed out and I screamed and then Ethan let out a little gasp/scream which I found extremely funny. Finally I recovered my money and the rat ran into the kitchen. I think he's residing under the fridge. Ah well. I missed Natalie quite a lot. Ha.

I made my Christmas cards and today helped the kids make some. We had a late start because we were both catching up on sleep. Ethan was recovering from a fever, but he seems better now. It was good to see the kids again. It always is. We saw Narnia with most of the kids tonight. I enjoyed it for the second time. Paola and Cherlin had my hands the entire time. I don't ever want to let them go.

Just Hanging Out

2010-12-12T18:59:00.001-08:00

Stayed home sick three days, hoping to ward of the worst, succeeded- or so I thought- acted normal on Saturday and Sunday, am paying for it now. The same illness as last time, only this time I at least know what it is. Tonsillitis. And trust me, I don't recommend it. Before, during the days I took off, I don't think it was full blown but now, because of my lack of care, it definitely is. On one side of my throat at least. The other is perfectly fine. Ugh. It's never ending. Ah well. It's been a good past couple of days. During my sick days, I was very productive. I read an entire book- (The Kite Runner, very good by the way. I recommend it. Cried through the whole thing). I also finished my rough draft of a story I was elected to write about Luz Mila. I think it turned out well, but there are many parts I need to work on, add and review. I'll post it soon once it is finished. Other news, all of the kids have facebooks now! Or almost all of them. If you want to wish any of them welcome to facebook, look them up. Tag photos of them and write them a message. They are thrilled. They can't exactly use them all that much, but the idea excites them. I think it's a little odd but a good idea. It lets all of the volunteers and sponsors keep in touch. Hopefully we can keep them up.

On Wednesday I missed an adventure. We had planned on going to spend the night at Geny's house on Tuesday, but the rain scared us away, so we moved it to Wednesday. Natalie and Ethan went but I couldn't because I was sick! I'm super bummed. They said they had a really good time and all of the family's filled them up on a ton of food. They went from house to house with an entourage of kids, ate food and met everyone's parents. Geny's family gave up two beds for them to sleep. Poor Natalie though got sick. She was throwing up all night. All of the food didn't sit well with her. In all they said they had a good experience. Luckily Geny has invited us back to spend next weekend with them. We'll see if I can make it this time. Three of the boys spent the night again on Friday. We made pasta and sauce, went on a little walk outside to look at lights, and gave the hot cocoa for the first time. I also had the urge to make a key lime pie of all things and after looking up the recipe I discovered it wasn't at all difficult to do. The boys finished off the entire pie that night and the next morning. I was considering being motherly and not letting them have both fruit loops and key lime pie for breakfast, but then decided against it. If they didn't eat it, it only meant I would ;) . The rest of the family came that morning to wish Natalie a good trip and say their goodbyes. I cooked up 5 pounds of home fried potatoes and 2 dozen eggs. The 14 people who were in our tiny casa polished it all off, complete with a full bag of bread. I'm still astonished. It was a sad goodbye. Natalie had visible tears running down her cheeks, and Glenda and some of the kids were tearing up also. It was strange, even for me who is not leaving, walking away from the group of them and towards the Hogar. The entire Hogar was so sweet and threw Natalie a going away party. They served food and the kids put on a little program in her honor. When the time came to say goodbye, it was so sad. Mostly for Natalie. One of the tia's said something that is really true. Volunteers get so much out of an experience like this, and to say goodbye to people they love is something foreign to them. It's always harder on the volunteers than the kids, because the kids lives have been full of past goodbyes. I truly hope that the time we spend here is for the better, and that it doesn't hurt the kids too much to say goodbye. I think, I know, that there is more good than bad in it. Plus, I know I will always be back.

I took Daniel and Rosa to see a movie today. It didn't work out completely as planned, but I had a really good time. Those two kids grab my heart. We went to eat at the mall and it was so difficult for the two to choose where to eat. They kept asking me to. Then I realized something. They never truly get to choose for themselves, not much at least. What they are doing every day, where they go, who they hang out with- everything is pre chosen. That has to be tough. Rosa also looked disconcerted. She told me that this was the first time that a volunteer had ever taken her out just to hang out. She was so happy, but she kept looking over her shoulder for the other kids. Rosa is the leader of the hogar. She is the second mother. She is, in a way, the boss. She is the one who organizes, teaches, cares for, and keeps the kids in order. When the group goes out to eat, she distributes the food equally. On the way over, I heard her giving instructions to Mercedes about how to portion out food. She takes on so much responsibility and I think most people who visit don't always see that. She tries to be strong all the time, but it's hard for a 14 year old girl to do so. The three of us wandered around the mall, looked at dresses, played some video games, and passed the time until the movie. I tried to get her to relax a bit and may have succeeded. She was so worried about how much money they were spending. As i said before, it's a weird thought to know that no one has ever really taken them out shopping and treated them to a nice day. Not their mother or an aunt. I felt the need to do something special for them, show them how much they are worth. That's what the day was really all about. Maribel was supposed to join us but she was a tad bit late. I think that worried Rosa, so she couldn't be completely worry free. Daniel was perfectly content to wander around and look. We saw Narnia together, and I really liked it. I wasn't too lost at all, even though it was in Spanish. I had brought some drinks into the theatre, a Dr. Pepper and Root Beer. Daniel took a sip of the rootbear and asked me where I got it, saying it tasted like medicine. I thought that was too funny. Maribel met up with us later and as we were talking I realized that she didn't know I was Stewart's daughter! She hadn't recognized me and I thought she knew. I told her and she became so excited and laughed at not knowing. It's funny to think she and Livio never would have known if I hadn't said something. I knew her from before, in my previous trips, but I had cut my hair and so she didn't know! Too funny. They were talking about my Dad and how he is always happy. I had to laugh.

So hopefully I shall make a quick recovery, be able to talk again and continue on! It will be very strange without Natalie here. She left this morning. I wish you all the safest travels Natalie! We'll miss you!

When we thought it was over

2010-12-07T19:55:00.001-08:00

The rat saga, unfortunately, did not come to an end. A new rat made a special appearance on Sunday, this time in Natalie's wardrobe. We heard a light commotion in the room and went in to find her pulling out her drawers, searching for this rat. I began to help and just when one drawer was about to come out, the rat launched itself out and under the beds. We poked around with some broom handles and found it in my empty suitcase. Again, it flew out and this time headed right towards me. I looked down to find it running in circles around my feet and let out a scream. Until that point I hadn't thought I would have reacted so strongly but nope. I did. A full out scream, complete with hopping from foot to foot. It then took off and disappeared. We think it might have escaped through the bathroom window. I'm crossing my fingers.

Sunday morning was really fun. Ethan, Natalie and I took a kayaking tour in El Cacao, where there is a large lagoon with mangrove trees and little inlets. A steady drizzle rained down the entire time, which cloaked the lagoon in silence. It was extremely pretty and a little surreal. We went through the channels and saw little bats that blended in with the wood. They were impossible to spot unless the guide pointed them out. We saw a monkey! Granted it was sleeping, but the idea was so neat. But, what was even neater- we talked to a monkey. After we moved on from the first monkey, we went around the lagoon and the guide taught us how to make monkey calls. Ethan was the best at it. We heard one call, so the guide called back. It responded and then Ethan responded. It went back and forth between the monkey and us for a good 10 minutes. We were willing it to reveal itself to us, but we didn't know how to say that in monkey talk. It was so close, we could here from its voice, but talking to it was just as much fun. On clearer days, they sometimes see alligators as well.

The rest of the day was spent relaxing at home. We practiced our cooking skills, made some delicious potato cream soup, some fresh bread, salad and snicker doodle cookies. It was a feast. Monday we had school again. As we walked up the steps I became so sick with worry, because Geny had spent the night on Saturday. On Sunday when we left for our outing, we sent him off to find his way home. I gave him some money for a taxi, but he still would have to take a bus or hitch a ride up. All of the scenarios were running through my head of what would happen if he had never come home, and his family was expecting him to be with us. I was so scared, but of course I was worrying for nothing. He was at school today safe and sound. But I got a little taste of what a parent must feel like at times.

School these past two days have been challenging. The kids, for the most part, don't study. We've spent the last two weeks learning forms of 'to be' and today when I ask them to do exercises, they don't even know what 'I am...' means. I feel bad because I feel like I’m not encouraging them enough, or that I'm making it boring, or I can't explain things well enough. Solutions are running out. So I baked cookies today to attempt to bribe them. We shall see. The hogar kids are learning a Christmas play and some songs so that's been taking up the afternoons. It's been raining non stop. It's probably about high 60's and everyone here is freezing. Quite amusing. I can only imagine Luz! We skyped her with her family today. She was all bundled up and looked so cold but so happy. She showed us her room and the snow and I got goose bumps. I'm so happy and excited for her. I shall be adamantly stalking her facebook as time goes on. :)

Visitors

2010-12-04T21:48:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I remembered why Piano isn't my favorite activity to engage in. David owns a keyboard that stays at the Hogar, so I decided to pull it out and play a little. My first discovery was that I couldn't remember any of the songs I once knew. Bummer. So after doing some scales (yes, I could still do those) I went online and printed out some music. To my relief I did remember how to read the music, albeit slowly. I got through some extremely basic songs but I was content with that. Of course, once the kids saw the piano every one of them was clamoring over me saying 'I want to learn! I want to learn!'. So I thought- why not? I can teach some basics. The problem arose when they didn't understand the concept of one person at a time. 3 people sitting at a keyboard with more crowded in behind, while on a couch without a proper stand is claustrophobic. You have so many different sounds and the kids prefer to press random keys instead of listening. Definitely not ideal. I actually think those three words describe just about everything in Honduras. Especially learning conditions. Anyways, I put the piano away but then Paola asked me is I could teach her that night. Those lessons went better, but I still don't think piano is my thing, especially on a keyboard where every note is the same and you hear it over and over again. It was the first time I felt myself loosing patience with the kids and I felt bad. Tia Yolanda asked me if I could teach them a song to sing while I accompanied them on the piano for Church on Christmas. I'm still thinking about that. That I think I could handle. It might be fun :)

Today Nelson, Denia, Geny, and their Aunt and little Carlitos came over. I had invited the older two to study English with me and the rest kind of followed. We made a pancake breakfast and then got to work. The problem is that it is difficult to have them practice speaking with the English they know. They know a lot, but never use it. I don't know how to teach it so that they use it. I think I will just have them learn the vocabulary and keep practicing, practicing, practicing.

Those were the welcome visitors. We also had a not so welcome visitor. As I was finishing up working on some stuff on the computer on Wednesday at about 12 at night, I saw something zip past me out of the corner of my eye. I turned and then I was sure that it was a huge rat that had just run in from outside. I froze and spent some time considering what to do. I decided to ignore it for the time being and pretend that I had just seen something and was mistaken. When I went into our room (Natalie and Ethan were sleeping in the other with air conditioning) I flipped the light on and I saw it sitting on my bed for a brief second before it ran underneath. At that point I had a difficult time not letting out a tiny squeal. I ran out, grabbed mypillow and blanket and flew into the 'sleeping room' where Natalie and Ethan were. I closed the door behind me and spent some time calming my beating heart. In the morning I told everyone of our visitor and we all crept around searching beds and clothes without any luck. The next night was Dan Collins last night, so Luz Mila and her mother were sleeping over because Luz had to go early in the morning. She was so excited but you could also tell she was nervous and sad because she had already said goodbye to her family. Such an enormous thing to go through! Saying goodbye to everyone you know and going away for the first time in your life. She was handling it so well though. They slept in Dan's room so Dan and his dad were on the outside couches. I decided to chance it and sleep in our room, hoping that the rat escaped or was in a different part of the house. At five o'clock in the morning, after dreaming all night about rats crawling around and biting me, I discovered that I had made a poor decision. I woke up to the sound of knawing on wood, in the corner of my room. The crunching was so loud and there was no question of what it was. I jumped up on my bed so fast so that as little of me was exposed as possible. Then I took a few minutes to gather the courage to jump down and run outside. Luz and Dan were just getting up so they could catch their bus, so I had a chance to say goodbye. I am so excited and nervous for her. Her story hits me right in the heart. I think it is amazing. But the rat story is not yet at an end. While I was teaching piano last night, Natalie and Ethan came home early, and they recounted their story to me. They went into our room with the intention of searching for the rat, and sure enough- zoom! it runs right past them into my and Ethan's closet area. Natalie was the brave one and she began to pat down all of our clothes. She couldn't find it and then she hit Ethan's one jacket which was hanging up. The rat flies out, hits her and jumps past into the bathroom area. They run to shut the door to lock it in. Natalie then suits up in tennis shoes and gloves, grabs the bottom of the trash can to catch it in, enters the bathroom and closes the door behind her. Screaming, yelling and banging emanate from the bathroom as she tries to trap it under the trashcan. "AHHHHHH!" "Holy Sh*t! It's a jumping rat" "Oh my god!" "EEEEEK!!" -BANG-. The rat was jumping everywhere, off the walls, off the toilet, in the sink and finally she trapped it vertically on the door. This entire time Ethan was rolling in laughter outside, because all he could hear was her screams sprinkled with some creative cursing. Once the rat was under the trashcan, she moved it down the wall, did a quick flip to the floor, and escorted it outside. I can not believe I missed it.

Exciting Things are Happening

2010-12-01T19:10:00.000-08:00

I went to the beach with the kids on Sunday. Every weekend is a new beach, and this was my favorite so far. A shallow river channel ran right into the river, so we had a little bit of both. There was a good sized flat sandy area for playing soccer, and across the channel were a lot of chocolate plants. Cacao is a better description, though it is the fruit that chocolate is made out of. The kids all ran right over there and picked a bunch of them. They are interesting, because you break the hard case open and then the fruit is inside, though there isn't much fruit. It's more like a slimy case around the seed, and you suck on it and spit out the seed. The fruit is very sweet though there is nothing chocolaty about it. Each of the kids came back with arm fulls, very proud of their finds. Soon after, we started up a soccer game in the sand. It was me, moises, and Venancio against Gerson, Daniel and Carlos. I have so much fun playing! I have hardly ever played soccer but Venancio gave me a compliment and said i was a "buen jugadora". I did learn the hard way though that playing soccer in the sand is not the best idea. Towards the end I looked down at my leg and it was completely red and scratched up and bleeding in spots from the sand. Beautiful. But totally worth it. I wish the kids had more chances to play! Around the hogar there is absolutely no room so that's out of the question meaning that the only time they can play is when we go to the beach. I'm attempting to set up some sort of PE class in the afternoons but it's difficult because there is no space, no supplies, and the kids don't even have tennis shoes. We had a semi PE class the past three days. The kids are split into groups for the afternoon so the first day was the younger kids. We played (or attempted to play) capture the flag. They had a blast though actual running around was minimal. The older kids took there turn the next day and we had even less space and it was less successful, but everything is mostly make do. Today while the younger kids ran around I helped out Eddy with the computer's class. I found some games that taught basic typing, and everyone seemed pretty responsive. Daniel, Carlos, Cherlin and Sara picked it up the quickest. They all love to play games on the computer, so hopefully with practice and time we'll get them all pretty good at using one. It's strange thinking that it's not a common skill here. I never really considered it a skill before but it is I suppose. English classes went well more or less. The kids don't study so it's frustrating when I have to slow down my pace and can't move on, especially when there are some kids who do understand and want to move on. I gave them a little bit of a talking to today and decided to split the class next week, so we'll see how it goes.

Big news!!!! We got the land donated from the city of La Ceiba to Helping Honduras Kids for the purpose of constructing a new Hogar de Amor!!! This is a HUGE step and means that the 22 kids and 4 tias will now be out of the small three bedroom, 2 bathroom house. We could not be more excited, but it also means that we have a huge step ahead of us. Fundraising! We need the funds to construct our permanent home. We will be starting from scratch and building in stages, taking and using all the help that we can get. We need to build the wall around the property, bring in electricity and sewer, build the foundations, build the house and provide for all the necessary things that raising kids requires. The property is about 1.3 acres, so thankfully there will be space to run around and space to live. Now is the time to call up all your work groups, church groups, friends and family and get a group together to come down and pitch in!

Also, our second big news... Luz Mila is leaving for Canada on Friday! Dan Collins and his dad, Gord, arrived on Monday to bring her up with them to study for the next chapter of her life. Just thinking about the experiences she will have, the new things she will see, the opportunities she will be presented with, gives me the chills. I can't even imagine what's going through her head. Moving from the jungle in La Ceiba, Honduras to the city of Toronto Canada. Changing from a place where she had to walk an hour and a half every day through a jungle path and keeping away from Jaguars just to get to school, to somewhere where everyone has a car, school is close and the temperature is below freezing. Switching from a house with earth walls and dirt floor to a suburban modern day home. I wish I was there the entire time to see her reaction to everything new. I instructed them to keep me updated with pictures and a video of the first time she sees snow. Luz Mila is an amazing individual. She has the spark in her that tells you that she will go far. Right now her English comprehension is amazing. She is so dedicated to learning and she will take full advantage of what is presented to her. I will be writing a story on her this month, explaining everything that went into taking her up to Canada. Just when you think that it's impossible to make a difference, you realize that amazing things do happen.

In the van on my way to the beach on Sunday, I feel like something changed within me. I don't know how to explain it, or what exactly it was. Mynor was sitting on my lap, leaning his head back against my chest. He had hold of my hand and seemed so comforted with me being there. I felt like he trusted me completely and a feeling just rose up within me and I realized that I'm making almost a lifelong commitment to these kids. They are taking pieces of my heart, and I won't ever be able to take them back. I'm going to be tied to their well being for as long as they grow up and beyond. I'm doomed.

Fiesta Week

2010-11-27T21:49:00.001-08:00

Semana de Fiesta's! Cada dia, fue increible. Technically the party's began on Thursday, but Wednesday was full of preparation. School went well. I introduced a new game and everyone (parents included) got into it. Then I got an extra bonus for not giving homework. After lunch Cristy picked us up to go to the beach with the group from Vanderbilt. Soon after we began our thanksgiving shopping trip! There was no way that we were missing thanksgiving, so we picked up all the necessities. Thursday was our cooking day! The entire day we worked on our turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, biscuits, and 3 pies. All from scratch. Granted, we had a lot of help from Eddy, but it was quite a process. I also managed, while peeling potatoes, to peel my finger. Don't worry, I got no blood in them. At five the group showed up. We had our adopted children over including Geni, Paco, Denia, and a new addition- Wilmer. Wilmer is so adorable and was so excited to be there. He never, ever stops smiling. Cristy and Meily both came as well as an old volunteer Carlos. Our last invitee was David. It was such a fun night and I ate more than I have in years. Everything turned out so well it was exciting! We loaded up food for the kids and then were excited to see that Geni has definitely made an improvement in his bulk. Everyone ate a ton and we still had leftovers, but that is what Thanksgiving is all about. All my worrying was for nothing. Later we played spoons and everything was just perfect.

Friday we began our day with our next party. It was graduation for the kinder kids and sixth graders. We got there at 9 am and watched as first the kinder kids and then the sixth graders walked down the little aisle. Everyone was dressed up so well! All of the graduates were in blue dresses and dress shirts, and the attendees were dressed up as well. Waldy was the cutest thing I have ever seen. She had her hair pulled back and a princess dress on and was absolutely glowing. Each of us was the madrina/ padrina of one of the kids. Natalie was madrina of Christian, one of the kinder kids, and Ethan and I were both Geni's padrino's. As a present we gave him a photo album with some pictures in it, as well as some spending money. When his name was called we presented it to him, took a photo, and then at the end Geni and I danced a waltz. It was a really fun experience. The last part was eating! I ate about a second thanksgiving meal worth of food. The entire ceremony was over at about 1, so the three of us went swimming with Cristy and Meily in the river. We went to a lodge area with an enormous rock to jump off of. It was extremely enjoyable as well. Next stop was back to the hogar to hang out with the kids. The Vanderbilt group set up some activities to do, including an ice cream station, bowling, and cookie decorating. Our last thing on the agenda was practicing Michael Jackson's Thriller dance until late hours of the night.

We finally went ziplining today! Well, the others did. They loved it. I just joined for the second part, since I've been ziplining before. We laid in the hotsprings for hours. It was extremely relaxing and just as pretty as I remembered. The company drove us back to La Ceiba in a zebra painted pick up truck. We were all in the back and just as we started leaving, it began to pour. We were drenched and the truck flew down the road. The rain pelted us but we couldn't stop laughing. One part however was absolutely horrifying. When we got into Ceiba, there was a dog walking down the side of the road. All of us were assuming that the driver was going to swerve around it, but instead he made an effort to swerve towards it. For a minute my heart stopped because I thought he hit it, and Natalie and I both gasped. Thankfully, right after we passed we saw that he was fine, and it was even a little funny because the dog ran after us barking. I still can't believe it, and I had no idea what I would have done if he had hit it. Hardly anyone treats animals well here. The dogs are all starving, get kicked and hit, and are targets for cars. Horrifying. Driving down the main street from Ceiba in our zepra painted pick up was also kind of amusing. I don't know a better way to scream 'tourist' than that right there. I definitely heard some laughs, but it was fun. We got back, did some last minute practice, and then headed over to the fiesta at the Hogar for the night. It was the monthly fiesta for all of the kids with Birthdays, which was Carlos and Carolina this month. We got Carlos some marbles and a soccer ball, and Carolina a pair of sandals. They were both thrilled. It was quite the noche de talento. Rosa hosted the entertainment. Some of the highlights included Joel's dance to Billy Jean, which was one of the funniest, cutest things I have seen. Sherlin sang to Shakira which I personally thought was pretty good. She was so sassy, and she sang perfectly most all of the words, even though they were extremely fast. Mercedes also sang, and my favorite part was simply to watch her face and see how happy she was to be up in front and performing. Santos, Lula, and Angelo all sang Barney's "happy family" song, which was precious as well. Our performance went well, all things considered. I mean, after Joel's Michael Jackson- there was no way we could compete. ;) The night ended really fun, with everyone there just dancing and jumping and laughing. I still can't Punta (the dance that the kids all do), but I was enjoying jumping up and down. I love to watch Rosa dance, because she lights up when she hears the music. She can move and get into it, and her smile is so big. I love seeing her like that, because many of the times she is more reserved. Some of the kids were really out of sorts because it was the Vanderbilt group's last day. Poor Patricia was crying the entire night, and Reina was close to tears much of the time as well. Even Rosa shed a few as the night ended. All that we can hope is that in some way, someone was changed for the better through the meeting, because you never what impact you can make.

Hondurafied

2010-11-23T22:56:00.000-08:00

Well, we are officially becoming Hondurafied. We now know how to make balleadas! Yesterday was quite the day. A large chunk of Geni's extended family came to visit us. This included two of his aunts, his sister, and about 6 cousins, plus his brother and Alan who were already with us. We made a mountain of tortillas, beans, and cheese but sure enough, once we sat down to eat they all disappeared. They were so delicious though! We can now make balleadas and tajadas! (fried plantains that are delicious and taste like potatoes but better). Denia, Geni's sister, is teaching me some spanish. I had homework and everything. I see why people get tired when they are hosting people in their houses. Oh! Eddy moved out so now it's just the three of us. In a house to ourselves. It's a little strange. Tonight we randomly decided to get some exercise and stretch. This decision was made at about 11 o clock at night- you know, some midnight exercise. Lots of fun.

Teaching is getting a little easier. I'm coming up with lesson plans without too much problems. The difficult part is still having that "teacher" air about me, that says Hey! Listen to me!. But i'm working on it. I have some older kids from the high school coming as well and they are all pretty far ahead of the other kids. Everything that my teachers ever complained about - different level of kids, missing school, not listening, not doing homework, being late- I now understand why it is frustrating. I enjoy it though for the most part.

On sunday a new group of volunteers arrived and we went to the river. It was a laid back outing, and I had some fun splashing around with the kids. All of the new group are either college juniors or seniors. I walked past them this morning as they were hauling sand up the huge steps at the jungle school and it brought back plenty of memories.

We are preparing for a thanksgiving feast! So that should be delicious. It will be a little HHK get together. All in all, everything seems to be going good!

Surprises

2010-11-20T19:46:00.000-08:00

I started this post off with "Tomorrow was extremely fun", well that obviously makes a lot of sense. My english is doing so well here. Yesterday though was quite good. Right when I got to the Hogar, David was loading up the car with the kids to make a trip up to the river. My policy is always to go with David because you never know what your going to do, and it turned out pretty well. Some of the kids and I were in the back of his pick up, which is so extremely fun to stand up and have the wind in your face. We got to the jungle school and began helping haul up brick from the bottom to the top. Brick after brick. It brought back memories of my trip in April. The little ones were cute, sharing a block between two of them to haul up. By the end I was sweating so much. Laura was with me, and after the bricks, she and the kids lobbied David to go swimming in the river. He at first said no, but a chant went up and we got a nod, so we all ran down to the river and jumped in fully clothed, me with jeans on and everything. It felt so nice. On the way back we air dried in the truck and then it was nap time and I fell asleep on the couch.

Geni and Paco came over last night and we took them to see Harry Potter! It was so much fun, and it was the first time they had been to the movies. Imagine never going to the movies until you were 10 and 13 years old. We bought some maroon and yellow fabric and made ties and scarves before. No one ever dresses up in Honduras, so we were the strange gringos with Harry Potter costumes walking around, with two little one's (also dressed up) in tow. The movie was pretty dark, but they really liked the experience. I absolutely loved it, sooo good! They were so excited. Paco is the cutest boy alive. He is so excited about everything. Natalie was talking to Ethan and she said how happy he looked and he stops and looks at her and responds in English "I am happy!". We have been feeding them so much, we are a little afraid they are going to explode from too much food.

Today we spent most of the entire day cleaning. I don't know if this house has ever been cleaned. We washed down the kitchen walls, cleaned sinks, bathrooms, swept floors and scrubbed off rust and bacteria. And then after hours of cleaning we found them. First outside, and then later in our house. Maggots. Oh my gosh. I don't think I have ever been more disgusted. I'm still horrified. Outside in the trash at least it was understandable, but inside. Ugh I can't even talk about it more.

Our family has grown by one more child tonight. Just when we had about finished cleaning, we look outside and two of Geny's aunts are there with one of his cousins. We were quite surprised, but quickly let them in. It is always an adventure communicating with our limited spanish. I offered them something to eat, and then checked to see what we had and realized we had no snacks. So we ended up making pasta and sauce. We talked (kind of) for quite awhile, and they told me how grateful they were for the volunteers and the school. I learned a little about the kids families. Their mom died 4 years ago, and there dad ran off. He lives in the states but doesn't keep in contact. In the end, Natalie, Ethan and I decided that they came because they wanted to bring Geny's cousin, Alan, over because he has an infection on his knee. They were hoping we could get him some medicine. So we invited him to stay the night and took him to the farmacia. So now we have three sons. I love it.

Keeping Busy

2010-11-18T20:51:00.000-08:00

Hey! Sorry for the break in writing. I've been busy helping out with sponsor work for HHK. I've decided to only write twice a week, so for those of you (probably just my mother ;) ) who are looking for my blogs, count on them on Saturday's and Tuesday's.

This week has been really great. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday were classes at the jungle school in the morning. We got up at a nice and reasonable hour, 7:00, and headed over to the Hogar to get a ride from David with all the kids to the school. It is vacation school now, so the only class the kids have is English. After all my planning on Sunday, we ended up getting through only a quarter of the lesson, so I was extremely excited- it meant I had lessons for the rest of the days! I passed out the binders that Alexis had brought me, and they were all very excited to have it just for English. I also took pictures of them all and printed them out to glue in. I'm still teaching the second level class, and Natalie and Ethan are working with the first level. Unfortunately we can't use both classrooms until after the graduation so the first level is working out on the picnic tables below. I feel kind of bad but well.... I didn't want to do it. We have covered the alphabet and are working on pronunciation. I have determined that the silent "e" concept is extremely difficult for most of them to pick up (minus our class genius Daniel). Also, I have determined that English has no reason as to why we say certain words like we do, and therefore it is impossible to teach. But we're getting there. I worked out a system that every time they answer a question, volunteer, or win a game they get a star. When they have five stars they are allowed to choose a prize. I was so glad that it worked, because all of the kids are so proud of their stickers. When I got back wednesday I then proceeded to spend $30 on prizes, but its all for the cause.

Geny stayed the night on Tuesday again. We took him to take some pictures for his graduation after school and it was one of the funniest experiences. Me, Ethan and Natalie all went with him as the lady was taking them, and we stood behind her making funny faces to get him to smile. He was attempting to do the serious face that all of the kids do, but we weren't having any of it. We felt exactly like parents, coaching him on his smile and acting rediculous. It was fun. In the morning, on our way to school, we fit 30 people into the van built for 20. It was a miracle really that we all fit. I was extremely impressed.

Sherlin is no longer ignoring me. For about a two weeks she did not speak a word to me. Not one. Every time I would even look in her direction, she would leave the room. And then, yesterday she decided to be my friend again. She is the moodiest girl I have ever met. She gets attention in such strange ways. I'm really sad though. Britta was planning on coming down over winter break. Her and Sherlin were absolutely inseperable for the week that the group was here, and Sherlin has been looking forward to her visit since we got here. Now Britta is unsure if she can make it anymore- its always finances. I truly don't know if I have the heart to break the news to Sherlin. I don't want to add disappointment to this girl who I'm sure has had a lot of disappointment in her life. Hopefully things will work out.

Today there wasn't school at the Jungle School, but we taught a short English class at the Hogar. It went well more or less. A little later David took us all to the SOS children's village, which is the orphanage he used to work at before breaking off and starting his own. There are 140 kids there but the facilities are very nice. There was a lot of open space and it is organized into houses. 8-10 kids live in a house, with a kitchen and living area, and a tia to watch over them. While we were there it was pouring rain, so we all congregated under a shelter, the Hogar kids and some of the SOS kids. David was there to drop off some rice and supplies. It was interesting seeing our kids interact with the others. They were very shy and timid, and seemed a little uncomfortable. I'm not sure why. The SOS kids were playing soccer in the rain, running through puddles (which looked more like lakes) and getting sopping wet. By the end I had joined them, fell several times, and was the only dripping one on the car ride back. So fun.

Piojo's!

2010-11-14T20:47:00.000-08:00

Natalie officially has Piojo's!! It's kind of awesome. We have been joking about it the entire trip, and now she has them. Piojo's are lice by the way. She's been itching her head since wednesday. We had checked before that but didn't see anything, but Lara (the new volunteer) checked today and sure enough! We went on a piojo shampoo hunt at 9 30 tonight, and all that was open were Pulperia's (tiny snack stores) and liquer stores. We made a new friend at one of the Pulperia's, asking for piojo shampoo. Unfortunately he said no, so we went back and then returned later to look for some vinigar. At this point he was laughing at us and again the answer was no. So we went to find another Pulperia and success! Piojo shampoo! On our way back we showed our friend, and he was really excited for us. Natalie is now soaking her hair in some pretty terrible smelling stuff but soon, no more piojo's! Honestly, it's inevitable that one of us were going to get them. We probably all will eventually. The kids all have them and we are always close. The kids love natalie especially and give her lots of hugs, so...

Today was extremely laid back for me especially, though I think I managed to stress myself out more than I have all trip. Natalie, Ethan and the other volunteers went swimming with the kids and they said they had a good time. I stayed home to prepare a lesson plan because tomorrow English classes begin from 9-12 and I really want to be prepared and have a fun class and have the kids learn a lot. I now have a lesson that will hopefully last for a long enough time. Unfortunately it is just one lesson, so tomorrow I will have to do the same thing in about an eighth of the time. Should be fun. I'm sure I just overthink things, but its really more out of my desire for them to truly learn and for me to be a good teacher. Teaching can be as easy or difficult as you make it, but to be a good teacher I think is hard. I have no idea really what to expect tomorrow, how many kids will be there, or what ages. Should be interesting. Hope it goes well.

Happy Birthday Natalie!

2010-11-13T21:31:00.001-08:00

I would like my parents to take a moment to appreciate my newfound cooking skills which have been on exhibit the past few days. I have almost single-handedly made a complete pizza from scratch, pancakes and eggs, and a cake. Add to that the chicken from before and I feel like I'm almost a chef. Ok, moment over. These past three days have been very busy and very good. On Thursday we woke up late and spent some time at the hogar. Geny and his brother Paco spent the night again, and Anna and Clara took them out to go shopping for supplies for the family. I went with them to Wendy's in the night and we just relaxed. The kids love to watch tv because its a special treat for them. On Friday I went with Geny, Anna, and Clara again to Geny's house to bring up some of the supplies. We couldn't take everything because there was a lot of stuff. But we hiked up there again through the mud and spent some good time talking with Geny's grandmother. She is a remarkable woman. She is the matriarch of her family and caretaker of dozens of children while their parents are working. She is extremely generous and gracious, and extremely respected. Several of Geny's cousins live with them, and many of the others live in houses very close to their own. Everyone is an uncle, aunt, cousin, brother and sister to someone else, but it is impossible to remember all the relationships because age doesn't really determine it. Just because two kids are the same age doesn't mean they're cousins, they could easily by an aunt or uncle or something else. It was a short visit because we needed to be back at the jungle school so that Anna and Clara could say their goodbye's. Goodbye's are so difficult. Anna and Clara were so sad, you could see that they didn't want to leave. The kids steal your heart and take it away so easily. They brought some drinks and chips and candy to throw a mini going away party, and a few tears were shed. Seeing how they felt after three weeks made me think about what it's going to be like saying goodbye after 6 months. I can't even imagine.

We got back at about 1 30, and I grabbed some balleadas and went back to the house to work on the profiles for the hogar. I also decided to attempt to get some exercise in doing basic things like lunges and sit ups and pushups. Well, I am currently extremely sore, thus showing me how out of shape I really am. During this time I also made the pizzas- crust, sauce and all. When everyone got back we ate them as out goodbye dinner and they turned out pretty well. It was a sad goodbye. They invited all of us to Spain to visit this summer. I wish I could.

This morning at about 7 30 I woke up to the sound of someone calling my name from outside. Confused, I got up and peeked out the window and Geny and his older sister Denya waiting outside the gate with their bikes. They came to try to say goodbye to Anna and Clara but they missed them by about an hour. I let them in and we decided to make some pancakes and eggs. A trip to the store for some eggs, syrup, and milk, and the pancakes turned out pretty well. After that they just relaxed in the chairs watching some TV. The others were all sleeping for awhile still. When they finally got up we decided to go to the Hogar to see what the plans were. It was Natalie's birthday today! We were hoping to go ziplining, but because of ride issues and weather we decided to postpone that adventure. We instead brought up the rest of the supplies to Geny's house. It was the first time Natalie, Ethan and Korey had been there, and i think the enjoyed themselves. The path up was even more slippery than before because of the rain this morning, and all of us were in Sandals. I had my tenis shoes in my backpack but for some reason decided not to use them which resluted in several close calls. A little later, David brought all of the younger kids up to say hi as well. The older kids were at a class for music for the day. Paola's madrina and a friend of hers arrived today to visit Paola and see the HHK programs. They are both very nice and it is obvious that they are quickly falling under the kids spell as well. Laura (madrina) said that as soon as Paola saw her, without ever meeting her before, she just enveloped her into the biggest hug. It was quite a crowd at the tiny house. The kids were running and slipping in the mud, climbing the trees, and running around the forest. The animals were in and out, trying to steal any food they could. It was so sad because the poor dogs, including a month old puppy, were constantly being stepped on and yelping, and no one paid them the least bit of attention. But that's how it is. Nothing has a name because theses animals are not pets (although they do have a pet pigeon that they keep, kind of like a parrot). After a few hours we headed back down, I slipped a few more times, and then we made a pit stop at with the kids at Burger King for ice cream cones. When we got back to the house we went out to dinner for Natalie's B-day and then made a delicious cake to celebrate. It sounds like so little but we were kept busy and it was good.

A Wonderful Day

2010-11-10T21:26:00.001-08:00

Everyone was kicked out of the Hogar today due to a scheduled rat fumigation, so David loaded up the van and we went on a full day outing. Ethan and Korey stayed behind, but Natalie and I had so much fun with the kids. Even riding in the van is an adventure. HHK has a four row van that is supposed to fit 20. We managed to squeeze in 27, on top of bags for everyone with beachwear, and an enormous cooler with food. Luckily the kids are small. Our first stop was the beach. Not the beach close to us, which is iffy, but one that was very nice and secluded. We were the only one's there, which was definitely a crowd, but it was fun. I spent much of my time being hung on by a mixture of Paola, Lula, Joel and Santos. This was especially perilous because of the hundreds of sand dollars that we were constantly stepping on. It was kind of incredible the amount of them. They weren't just here or there, but there were sections where you couldn't feel the sand, only sand dollars under you. The kids love to swim. We spent hours in the water. I paid for it later, as evidenced by the beautiful, even, redness spread around my body. We buried several kids in the sand, including me, and then sat down for lunch. About an hour later we heard the call "Vamanos", and everyone piled into the van again. We went to El Cacao to check in on some programs, including a daycare that is set up, and another childrens home where there are 20 kids all under 6 years old. After those quick stops we piled out at Rachel's house, to see how she is doing. Rachel is one of the girls who used to be at the Hogar. She ran away several times, and finally they had to let her begin her own life. Now she is married and has a baby at 18 years old. I think it is tough for David to be there with Rachel, because he sees how she is living now ;in a tiny one room house, with a kitchen separate outside. It's not much, though everyone was very excited because they just bought a tv. Right next to her "house" is a pig farm that we walked through. I didn't realize that pigs get so BIG! There were so many of them of all ages, including adorable tiny baby piglets. They must have been not over a week old because one still had an umbilical cord. After buying some cheese that they make in the community, we said our goodbyes and again squeezed in. Every time we got in the van I really think it got smaller and smaller.

Our last stop for the day was up to the jungle school. Not for school though! We went swimming in the rio, and it was absolutely lovely! There was a spot that was pretty deep and secluded, so we could jump off rocks and basically relax. The kids thought the water was so cold, but Natalie and I were loving it because it was about normal for us. Minor was shivering as much as a person can. There was also a spot that you could go into the main current and drift down the river until you ended up in another pool. That was so much fun as well. I love how you can go from the Caribbean to a tropical jungle river in about 20 minutes. It's amazing. Our day however was not over as we again loaded into the van. When we got home, we showered and then went to a futbol game! The two big teams from La Ceiba were playing today- Vida and Victoria. Everyone from La Ceiba has to choose one or the other. I am officially for Victoria ( with the help of Geni). Natalie and Ethan are Vida, so it's no good there. I won't say who won because I'd be betraying my team. Geni and his brother Jose (Paco) are staying with us again tonight, and we took them to the game. It was their first one ever and I think they really enjoyed themselves. They are both so quiet but you could tell they were just taking it in. Jose is only 10 and perhaps the quietest boy I've ever seen. He is tiny, like Paola, but also like Paola he is very sweet. The entire family is truly amazing. Finally we are home, and I must admit that today was quite amazing.

Lots of Laughs

2010-11-09T20:40:00.000-08:00

Hallelujah, my first warm shower in two weeks! Hot water is officially fixed and I love it. Right now one of the boys, Geni, is staying at our house. We are helping him with studying, though I admit, there is minimal studying going on tonight. We are having fun showing him friends and family on facebook, as well as the joys of photobooth on the mac computers. More importantly, he helped us cook a chicken today. Well not cook, but cut. When he came here, we wanted to cook him a good meal, so we decided to go get some chicken to cook. Natalie and Ethan came back with a whole chicken, in a bag. We were hoping that someone would know what to do with it, but one by one we passed it around and shook our heads. This included me, Natalie, Ethan, Korey, as well as the Spanish volunteers Anna and Clara. So all of our heads turned to Geni for direction. At this point he was laughing extremely hard. It must have looked so sad. So he took the chicken out and began to cut it up for us into good sized pieces. We all watched as he pulled apart legs and the middle, and cut through the bones etc. Ugh. Once we had the pieces, I pulled out the cookbook and figured out how to bake it. It turned out surprisingly well! I put in some onions, garlic and olive oil and then cooked it. We made rice and baked carrots and I consider it the best meal we've made! Genie has also been laughing at our attempts to speak spanish. Natalie came up to him and meant to ask him if he wanted some chips, so she pointed and said "te quiero". He gave her a very strange look and she just handed him the bag and walked away. I sat there for like a minute thinking about it and then started cracking up, realizing that she had just said "I love you". So now, every time we ask him if he wants something we tell him that we love him. Ah so funny. So many laughs here, at the moment I cant stop. Anna is perhaps the funniest person I have met.

Anna and I were the only one's to get up early to go to the jungle school this morning. School this week is only for those who need extra help, and I was in charge of three kids in third grade. We spent time practicing our times tables. Anna went with the sixth graders to take their graduation pictures, and when she got back we both hiked to Geni's house to speak with his grandmother. It was a twenty minute walk up a muddy, slippery slope. We eventually arrived without falling (success) and were welcomed into Geni's house. Seeing the kids at the school every day in their uniforms, it's so easy to forget where exactly they life. We were greeted by several enormous pigs laying outside the house, and clothes strung around the house. Inside there was only the dirt floor and single room, with a stove in one corner and the beds in another. The roof is only tin, and looking up I wonder what they do when it rains. While we were sitting inside, I looked to my right and a tiny little puppy emerged. Later there were hens with baby chicks coming in and out of the house, and the pigs kept entering and being shooed out. They gave us some water with lemon juice in it, and Anna and I looked at each other and prayed for cleanliness before drinking. It was quite good, but we shall know soon if any Montezuma's revenge was contained within it. In a situation like that, you don't refuse anything that is offered. Nothing bad so far :).

We went down to catch the bus, but the bus decided to be 2 hours late. It was quite nice. We walked with Geni, the school director, and three of the kids half way down the jungle school road. I enjoyed the walk. It is so pretty, and the three little boys were so funny, clinging to us and racing ahead. I didn't enjoy being bitten by tiny red ants, but that was the only unenjoyable part. Finally the bus picked us up which was about time. We took Geni to burger king, went shopping for some food, and then our night adventures began. Very fun day, and I'm so glad I went. They invited me back to visit any time. Geni is such a good, nice kid. If he can't go to the high school, he will repeat sixth grade again or help out at the jungle school, which would be a bummer because he would loose a year. There is some hope though.

School's Out!

2010-11-08T19:41:00.000-08:00

Official last day of school! Today was the fiesta at the Jungle School, and the kids (and me) had tons of fun. There was some work finishing up exams in the morning, and then David brought up all the equipment from the Hogar to watch a movie. That movie captivated all of the kids immediately, which was perfect for us to serve the food. We had bought the food for the fiesta the day before as a donation, and then passed plates out. Unfortunately, we didn't have enough plates or silverware so with no other option we had to reuse them without washing as kids finished, and pass them back out with new food. But that is how a lot of things are over here. We do the best we can with what we have, though it is rarely ideal. Later, there were some nice sized pieces of cake for all of the kids. I spent Sunday night helping Eddy bake three enormous cakes for the party. It took about 3 hours but it was so much fun and they turned out deliciously. We even got to make a mini cake for us- chocolate banana. Mmmmm. A mini talent show followed the movie, and some time for dancing. It was a little bit crazy in the one room with about 90 kids, plus more parents and siblings. Kids were dancing and running into each other, falling down and tripping others. It especially didn't help that some of the boys would not stop fighting, and every time we broke them up they claimed they were "playing". But no one got hurt. I think it is so funny the difference between kids here and in the states. Its incredible. Here, there is so little supervision of what kids do or where they are. You see them playing in the street, hanging off of fences, and doing all manner of things that would stop a mothers heart. At the fiesta today there was a little baby a few months old that her older sister (about 7?) was carrying around, and none to carefully. Also, my heart just about stopped when the piñatas came out. There was hardly any room for the kids to swing the bat (excuse me, piece of wood), and when Santos had it, he took a back swing that must have come within three inches of Carolinas face. She didn't even flinch. I kind of gave a mini yelp. Then, when the candy started coming out, it was literally, in every manner of the word, a dog pile. Kids jumped on it, ignoring the bat swinging above, and then fought each other for it. I looked down and it looked more like fish in a net when they are pulled up. It was kind of funny, and I thought how different it is in the states where the parents carefully monitor all safety rules. Haha, it works out somehow.

Mom- a special not for you. Remember how I signed us up for sponsoring a kid? Well, we are sponsoring Daniel. He is so smart and sweet. Anyways, when you are a sponsor, you are considered the kids "Madrina" or "Padrino" which is Godmother of Godfather. I told him that you were his "Madrina" today and you should have seen the enormous smile that lit his face. He gave a small whoop and then did a back flip right there. I laughed so much. You should be getting a letter from him pretty soon :) A chance to practice your Spanish? Haha, miss you.

Sponsoring a kid is such a big deal here at the Hogar. The kids really love talking to and keeping in touch with their Madrina's and Padrino's. When we pull up pictures they spend so long looking at them. A sponsorship is their way of knowing that they have someone special that cares about them. They are important to the Hogar and School as well, because sponsorships are almost the only way that money gets to go to the general programs that HHK runs. They pay for food, for salaries, and for the things that keep the kids healthy and happy. Many times groups or individuals raise money for construction or other specific projects because it is nice to see a finished project that they contribute to, which is awesome, but it is more difficult to raise funds for general upkeep. That is where sponsors come in, but at the moment we are severely lacking in the number needed to pay for the monthly upkeep at the Hogar. We are working to expand our sponsor base as best we can, so hopefully some new publicity will bring us a little bit of help.

Change of Plans

2010-11-06T20:24:00.001-07:00

Trip to Roatan for the weekend was cancelled on account of rain. A lot of it. It rained for about 12 hours strait, and this isn't drizzle rain, this is pouring rain. The entire city was flooded. We took a taxi on Thursday morning, though at certain points a boat would have seemed more appropriate. There were some streets that had maybe 2 feet of water in them. I know this seems like an exaggeration but it isn't at all. We got to the Hogar only to find out that school was cancelled. The kids were ecstatic of course, and even I was a little relieved. I had some time to relax. We helped the kids do some studying because exams got moved to Friday, and the party that was scheduled was moved to Monday. Friday's classes went well. The first day without any major meltdowns in the Kinder. I had 9 kids and maintained order. It helped that Kevin didn't come until half way through. Though I was worried when I didn't see him. Even though he's a pain, I'm used to having him there. In English I gave a pop quiz. Something easy, just 20 words that they knew in English. Well they all groaned and it was just like I thought, they weren't actually absorbing all that much of what I have taught them. But I knew that, and was kind of waiting until Summer sessions start so that I can pass out binders and really start grammar. When I said to write 20 words, one of the Kids, Daniel whom I absolutely love, went and wrote 20 sentences. This kid is so smart and intelligent and sweet. He made me a bracelet today that you could tell he spent a lot of time on. He is one of the older boys and because of that hugs are not allowed ;), though I squeezed one out of him today for my bracelet. He is also the one that keeps bugging me about my shirt. On Thursday I made the mistake of wearing my Duke t-shirt. I didn't think anything of it and completely forgot what was on the back. Duke's mascot is the blue devils, so the back has a figure of a devil on top of the world. Well once I got to the Hogar all of the kids gasped and told me that I was bad. Whoops haha I kind of had a difficult time explaining that one away. That shirt is now relegated to pajama shirt I think.

At the moment I am almost completely covered with an enormous rash. I have no idea what it is and discovered it on my arms this morning. It is simply a collage of little red dots, everywhere. They don't hurt or itch, but when I went to change into my bathing suit I found my stomach and back were three times worse. It isn't pretty and I'm hoping it just kind of disappears? We shall see about this one. I seem to be contracting the strangest things down here. We finally have internet in the house! Well kind of. It only works on half of our computers, but at least we can access the outside world. Once something breaks down here, it generally is out for good. First the Internet broke, then the hot water, now the toilet doesn't always flush, and the washing machine is on it's way out. But hey, we make do. Cristy brought in a TV unexpectedly so that is now a possibility. We are slowly settling in.

Today was very fun. We took the kids out to the beach to run around. I didn't plan on going swimming because of my beautiful rash, but all the girls immediately ran up to me and gave me big, wet hugs. I did avoid being pushed in though. Natalie and Korey were not so lucky. We buried some of the boys in the sand and began a game of volleyball. When that failed, we changed to soccer and I got the most exercise I've had in awhile. Although I don't really know if it was exercise. I was simply completely out of breath. I'm not as terrible as I expected so it was kind of exciting. I'm also working on a few projects for the school; making profiles for all the Jungle School kids. No plans for tomorrow so probably will just hang out with the kids :)

For once there was order

2010-11-04T16:03:00.000-07:00

For the first time, I felt like the Kinder class was almost under control. It was quite nice. Only two meltdowns; Kevin was one of course, and Danielito the other. We began the morning with practicing numbers and coloring. Later, when I felt that was all the practice they could take, I pulled out some craft supplies to make pictures. I felt so prepared because the night before I made an example of how to cut out a flower, glue it on some paper and draw a sun. Add to that a few stickers and the kids couldn't be happier. We had a nice break in the middle while the kids went to drink their milk and when they returned we went on a hunt for some leaves in the forest to glue on some paper and make bracelets. Unfortunately the second craft finished a bit earlier than I wanted, so I had to improvise and let them the play. Well I did learn to never just let the play. They need some direction. So after five minutes of chaos, playtime was over and I read them several stories, which fortunately is something they enjoy. I let them out 15 minutes early and then freedom for one day. Oh I forgot to tell you the other day about the abundance of lice everywhere around me. Yes, it is quite disgusting at times. We could actually stare at Keyla's head at wait about a minute, and sure enough an enormous lice would surface and then bury back in. It was fascinating, but I am quite terrified because I have a bad premonition that I might be sharing her fate soon. Goodness I hope not. We drew some family trees today in English, learning relationships between mother, father, brother, sister etc. It wasn't my best class but they were kept busy. Tomorrow is the last day of classes before vacation. No more kinder for 2 months! Tomorrow is also my last day of Spanish class. I'm a little bummed because class is the only time I really get to practice, besides with the kids. When I'm at the volunteer house, everyone speaks English so I'm not surrounded as much as I would like. I'm so impatient with myself and want to know everything now. But I'm realizing that it is possible to stay here and never learn Spanish, and I don't want that to happen to me at all. I want to be able to speak well and semi- naturally. I'll have to find some Honduran friends that I can hang around.

Every day I am here, I hear another story of another child that breaks my heart. Today was Genie. Genie is the brother of Paola, one of the girls at the Hogar, and he is graduating this year from the Jungle School. Their mother died years ago, and his father (different than Paola's) has never been part of his life. He lives with his grandmother and often has to work to make money. He is only 13 years old. Right now we aren't sure if he is going to be able to continue to study, even though he wants nothing more than that. He didn't pass the entrance exam for the school that some of the other kids have gone to in the past. Anna was talking with his teachers, and they said that he is one of the quicker kids and more intelligent than some of the kids who did pass. His teacher thinks it was out of sheer nervousness that he did poorly. Anna and I are both concerned; she is going to try to raise enough funds when she goes back to spain to pay for him to go to school, but isn't sure if that solution will work with the school. He came to the Hogar today to talk and try to figure out something to do, and you could tell he was very dejected and nervous. She is going to start tutoring him next week, but she is only here for one week more. I promised that I would help and do what I can, keep an eye on him and tutor him in the subjects I know. Even if he can't go to the school, he still wants to study, so if need be I'll teach him myself or find someone who can, or something...

Learning and teaching in the impossible

2010-11-03T12:12:00.000-07:00

I got back to a normal routine today with a 5 o'clock wake up call and work in the kinder. It was Korey's first full day and she got to experience the entire school experience, including the line up in the morning where the kids all sing their national anthem. If we in the US ever thought saying the pledge in school was a nuisance, we have it so easy compared to their anthem. It is sooo long and repetative, and the kids sing it without any enthusiasm. It is so funny to watch as they repeat over and over, "tu banderrrrraaaaa". This week is exam week, the last week before the two month vacation. Since the teachers don't need to much help as the kids take their exams, we had 4 of the volunteers helping in the Kinder; Ethan, Korey, Anna (A volunteer from Spain) and me. Even with the four of us and only six kids it was still a project keeping them engaged. Every kid is at a different level, so while some have finished their work, others are just starting. We were successful in keeping them busy in the beginning, but as soon as they we ran out of papers for them to draw letters, we couldn't really keep them occupied. It is dificult to grab kids attention because there are always so many other things going on. The kinder room is smashed between the other two classrooms, which are both very noisy. In reality, it is almost impossible for any grade to truly concentrate. The school is desperately in need of the third classroom, which is in progress.It would be ideal if it could be finished by the time classes start again in January, but I don't think there will be enough funds to complete it. Something else the kids need, and David has plans to buy as soon as money comes in (which could be awhile), is a bus run by HHK. Right now HHK pays for a bus to take the Hogar kids to school, but the bus isn't obligated to stop for others who attend the Jungle school. Sometimes it stops and sometimes it doesn't, depending on how full it is. I didn't realize this until today when we were driving up the dirt road to the school and on the side were a group of the Jungle School kids in their uniforms waiting, but the bus kept on going. If the bus doesn't stop, the kids either walk to school, or don't go. It is so difficult to teach when the kids aren't there every day. So many things need fixing but at least there is something for now. Not to mention the hope of building a new Hogar soon because the rented house the kids are in is far to small for their needs, but that is another problem.

So many things that happen here I am amazed at. Today while taking her exams, one of the girls had to take care of her one year old sister, so she was holding her with her arm while taking her exam with her other. When the baby started crying she had to stop and quiet her. Clara was working with the second grade today and she asked another of the girls why she would never do her homework. She responded that she couldn't because in the afternoon she has to help her mother work and wash clothing. Second grade. Others aren't able to complete it because they don't have light in their houses. These kids also need so much more than just school knowledge. They need to be taught manners and social skills. Today Lissy, one of the Kinders, asked to use the bathroom. I said yes of course, so she went around back to where the outhouse was. I went to check on her right after and was slightly perturbed to find her just squating in the dirt and using the bathroom, like it was no big deal which I suppose it isn't. I find this slightly worrisome though because right there is where all the kids play during their break, always rolling in the dirt and falling down. Nothing is exactly sanitary here. Kevin was so extremely frustrating today. We honestly all dread what each day will bring when he is around, but I suppose it is an exercise in patience? He has no manners and is difficult to discipline. He is seven years old and still in kinder, though he looks as if he is only 4 or 5. The majority of the kids look at least 2 or 3 years younger than they are because of such poor nutrition. Their growth is stunted, which contrasts with their emotional growth, which is exponentially higher than most kids should be because the kids have so much responsibilitly. All I can do is help in my own small way, let the kids know they are loved, and try to leave a tiny mark in the paths of their lives.

It is Beautiful

2010-11-03T12:10:00.000-07:00

I am always amazed at how beautiful this country is. It has so much natural beauty, the caribbean paired with the jungle is simply breathtaking. I spent the morning hiking through the jungle in the Pico Bonito reserve. We took a tour and hiked an hour and a half to a waterfall. I was so glad to get out and do something active, especially since hiking is one of my favorite activities. Plus, it's hard to beat the location we were at. The waterfall was of course stunning. The director before we left had told us we shouldn't try to go swimming because the rocks are slippery, so as soon as we got there we took our shoes off and carefully made our way into the spray. There wasn't anywhere to swim, but it was amazing and exhilarating to just sit under the water as it poured down on you from 160 feet up. The water was nice and refreshing after the hike, and I could not stop giggling. So pretty. As we walked back, butterfly's were fluttering around and we found a few lizards. I was quite happy.

Nothing too exciting this afternoon. I am constantly making lists of things to do and things I need to buy. It's strange being here, because I am so much neater and cleaner than I ever am at home. I have been on a cleaning frenzy, and can't stop organizing things. I'm planning on tackling the floors and kitchen again but need to buy some cleaning materials. I cooked my first official meal today! Nothing fancy, just potatoes and onions and peppers, but still- I was proud of my initiative. I'm also being responsible and making a budget which I'm sure I will go over, and I'm busy planning lessons for english. On top of that I promised to help out with some sponsor projects so we shall see where my time goes. This is what I love though, having more things to do than I can ever finish!

Starting Anew

2010-10-31T15:25:00.000-07:00

Feeling better! Around 85% which is pretty good in my opinion. I'm able to talk, able to eat more than liquid, and basically be normal; so yay for quick recovery's! Today was certainly long. I woke up early because I have temporarily moved my bed to the living room where we don't use air conditioning which is apparently bad for my throat, which means that I'm up when the first person is up. In this case it was pretty much all the group because everyone went to Cayos Cochinos, which they absolutely loved. How could you not? Tropical islands and the beach and crystal blue water. Ethan has come back with one of the funniest sun burns I have ever seen. It seems he decided to put sunscreen everywhere except certain parts of his body, which included half his neck, his upper right forearm and his left foot. Anyways, I didn't go because I thought it would be difficult to snorkel, plus my doctors bill from my previous trip deterred me from spending more money. Instead I took a trip to the Hogar to help out with preparations for the fiesta.

The original plan was to go out in the morning, buy some presents for the kids whose birthdays were being celebrated (all the kids who have a birthday in October), make some copies and stop by the bank- all by myself. Well that lasted about 5 minutes after I walked out of the house- by myself- and was called out to on every corner 'hey baby'. Needless to say I turned around, my bravery gone, went to the house, changed into longer shorts, grabbed my stuff for the Hogar and walked over there. I'm quite glad that Ethan came because no one has hassled us before until I went down the street myself. Aye. There was nothing really to worry about, but it was simply a comfort level thing. At the Hogar I spent the morning chopping vegetables, helping bake cakes, and doing whatever chores I could. The kids were busy putting up oddly shaped balloons and other decorations. They were all so excited and every five minutes would make sure that Natalie and Ethan and the other volunteer were coming to the fiesta, to which I reassured them for the 20th time that yes, they would be there at six. I headed back to the house at 4, and everyone arrived just after I got back. Ethan and I went shopping for Birthday presents with surprising luck. We found a doll for Ruth, a motorcycle for Joel that he didn't put down at all, and a toy car for Francisco. We gave Santos the soccer ball I brought and Rosa the promise to take her shopping. I'm so glad they loved them. It began to pour on us on our way back so we both made a dash for the house as my white dress got soaked, but all was well.

La Fiesta was very fun! It started out a little interesting, mainly because the entire city decided to go without electricity from 5:40 - 8:00. So we were eating by lamp light, which used a very clever system that David rigged to use the battery from his car. After dinner, the talent show began with dancing acts, and singing acts, and a few interruptions to pass out presents. Moises had one of the funniest acts I've seen. He has a specific dance that he always does, which consists of waving is hands rapidly from left to right, then slowly bring them down his body and clapping. Well he decided to pair this with a costume made out of palm fronds and some pretty nice shades. Together the combination was too funny to handle. Daniel and some of the other boys pulled together a skit which make me laugh also. It was mainly Daniels excellent acting as the town drunk, as he held his beer bottle and stumbled around. Later the skit revealed that he could be saved through Jesus so there was a purpose to it all. Sherlin was MC for the night. She really should be a talk show host because she loves the spotlight in front of crowds, and her humor is perfect for it, and she's good! At the end of the night they all pulled us in to dance and tried to teach us to 'punta' which is done by moving your hips faster than mine can move. The entire night was so much fun. The kids were so excited, and we did get light half way through! The fiesta ended about 12 and here I am back at home. Apparently preparations are ideas are already underway for the next fiesta!

When I miss my Mother

2010-10-29T12:00:00.000-07:00

Nothing makes you realize that you aren't at home quite like being sick in bed somewhere that your mom can't come take care of you. It's one of the first things you think of when you don't feel so well, but she's not there to tell you it will be okay. It makes you feel very far away. Yesterday was lots of fun. My schedule looked something like, sleep, eat (I could only eat beans and smashed bananas because they are soft), sleep, have some medicine, sleep, have some tea, sleep, more beans etc. etc. My symptoms are mainly a strong sore throat and a very swollen bottom portion of my face, accompanied briefly by a fever last night but that seems to have dissipated. Needless to say, this isn't exactly the common cold. I think I'm keeping in good spirits though. All sicknesses pass and so will mine eventually. This morning though was rather painful. I woke up and couldn't even talk, everything was so swollen. Yesterday I could at least croak out coherent sentences, but today- nope. It was like my mouth was fused shut. Luckily, Cristy had arranged to take me to the hospital in the early morning to see a doctor, I think at the urging or my father. I would have stubbornly insisted that I was fine, but I'm glad we went. When I woke up I was counting the minutes until she was here. I can only communicate through writing on a little pad of paper next to me, so it was rather entertaining attempting to explain to the doctor my symptoms. She did the standard check up but when she tried to open my mouth, it opened up perhaps a centimeter. So swollen. Oh and did I forget to mention my tongue was blue? What was up with that? Anyways, I'll spare you the gross details but apparently I have an infection in my lymph nodes. A shot in the butt for swelling and 4 prescriptions later, I was out of there. I'm restricted to a liquid diet only so I foresee lots of soup. After taking my pain meds I feel quite a bit better and am hoping to be able to get back to work again Monday. I'm also hoping my voice makes a recovery. We shall see.

All news I have from the kids is second hand news. David took the older kids to the fair grounds on Tuesday night. Apparently Venancio got electrocuted for a good 10 to 20 seconds. Ana, one of the Spanish Volunteers, told me about it. She was apparently watching him and when he grabbed onto a bar she thought he was just being hyper, and it took her awhile to realize that he actually had electricity coursing through him. Ha! I can only imagine him waving wildly as she watched him there, unknowing. Poor kid but I've been told he is fine. Natalie and Ethan have been enjoying teaching my kinder class. Apparently they're having even more trouble, if that's possible. Natalie called Kevin a terrorist which sounded about right, and apparently his sister Lissy is the same. Natalie reported that the entire classroom was a huge mess. Ah, gotta love the kindergartners. Korey should be here soon which is exciting. I shall write a big sign out, 'Hi Korey!' on my little note pad. Hahaha. Missing everyone, and not to worry, I shall be fine!

Sickness

2010-10-29T11:58:00.000-07:00

All teachers who have ever come to school sick, I forever give you my complete and total respect. It is not an action I would like to repeat, as today was not quite enjoyable. Not to say I didn't want to be around the kids; it's more that when you are sick, every problem seems like it is compounded and you have much more difficulty remaining patient. Especially with the kinder kids, because they are always moving, playing, fighting or getting into any manner of trouble. So much energy in a small little bundle. I have decided that Kevin is a menace, and worse than that- an intelligent menace. He is the biggest of the kinder kids, and I have difficulty engaging him because he already understands everything I am teaching to the younger ones. So he decides to go off and do his own thing, make messes and hit people with empty coke bottles. I walk into class and he woos you with his big eyes and smile, but as soon as he doesn't get his way, off he goes making trouble. However, when you do something that captures his interest, you couldn't have a better pupil. I attempted to take his bottle away when he commenced in hitting me with it, but of course he didn't listen. Instead he decided to bite me, albeit lightly, and as I didn't know the word for bite, all i could tell his was "don't be a shark". Effective. Although he did settle down when he saw I was unhappy with him. Later in the day, I asked for one of the new volunteers to help me because I started to feel worse. It really wasn't a wise decision to go. I felt bad I couldn't be at my best. Especially during English, when once class was dismissed the kids wanted to stay to learn more, and I was simply exhausted. They understood though. I fell asleep on the stairs, and later at the Hogar. Daniel carried my backpack for me, the perfect gentleman. I think I'm going to tutor him in English separately, because he is so far ahead of everyone. Moises nearly fell out of his chair with how big his smile was when we read him Harpers response to his letter. If anyone has any ideas for fun afternoon activities with all the kids, let me know! I want to maybe get some workshops going so that they can be occupied. My thinking cap is on :)

How the Storm Hit

2010-10-29T11:56:00.001-07:00

To the acute disappointment of Natalie and Ethan (who spent the entire night recording a song about the arrival of Richard), Richard indeed passed us by untouched. Only a mild amount of rain came in the night, and even that was not extraordinary. So all of our preparations, which included pulling out flashlights, charging electronic devices, and closing windows were in vain. And we were left without any plans for Sunday, which turned out quite nice despite the forecast. We spent our free time well, id say. 5 hours strait in Wendy's eating frosty's and fries. That's almost an accomplishment to stay in a fast food restaurant for so long. I feel like I should check it off on my bucket list or something like that. Don't worry though, there was greater purpose to us being there for so long. One word; Wifi. So all of the pictures, blogs, etc that you are seeing are complements of our great effort. It is quite inconvenient that we don't have wifi , because you will be reading this perhaps several days after it is written, but so it is.

Even though Richard passed us by, a different type of storm still hit us. Natalie first, and me soon to follow. Natalie's ailment was a case of Monetezuma's revenge. On Thursday after our first taste of balleadas, she began having certain stomach issues. Ethan did as well, but by the next morning Ethan was cured, while Natalie's stuck with her. She stuck it out, hoping that it would soon disappear, but by Sunday we decided that 4 days is enough to be cramping up in pain. Cristy chided her for not taking it sooner, but her resolve broke and she took the pill. Ciproproxin, the pill that flushes your entire system clear of all bacteria, to take in only the most dire cases. Well she did, and the pain got worse, but this morning upon waking she did feel slightly better! She still is not 100 percent, but at least she isn't clutching a pillow in the fetal position any longer. We have, unfortunately, decided to blame the balleadas, because although they are some of the most delicious creations, I can't vouch for the sanitation in the road side shops. It was either that or the lack of us washing our hands before eating (after touching children and all manner of things at the school) that caused it... we shall blame the balleadas. My case is slightly different. I have a case of 'gripe' also known as the common cold. Playing with the little one's all day certainly takes it's toll. My weakened defenses couldn't handle it, and so I contracted this terrible illness, which comes with a constant headache, swollen lymph nodes and a sore throat, as well as a stuffy nose. Thank goodness for modern day medicine, because my pill popping has kept me feeling relatively okay.

Today I stayed in bed until nine, while the other two toughed it out and got up at five. I vaguely remember asking Ethan when the alarm went off what I should do, but was only able to speak in a tiny squeak, because my voice was compromised. He told me later that I sounded absolutely awful, so he said go back to bed. Two volunteers from Spain arrived yesterday so David picked them up at 10 30 and I went with them to the school, just in time for my English class. As soon as I got to the school I was so glad I went. The little kinder kids came up and hugged me and I carefully attempted to avoid passing on my virus. I missed them already after only one day of not seeing them. Just as I got to the top of the stairs the bell rang for English. I went to my second level class and attempted to call order. Key word attempt. My voice was so weak and frail, the poor kids could hardly hear me for the day. But they listened well enough to my scratchy voice, as we went over how to say the date, as well as the months, calendar etc. Once we were done, I went out to wait for the bus. Little Paola is the sweetest thing. Every day one of the kids says something that sends me spinning. Today Paoloa was asking me when Kylee was coming. I repeated "Abril" to her several times. Then she asked me when I was leaving, and again I said "Abril". So a confused look came over her face and she said (translated), "I wish April would hurry up because I want Kylee to come, but then I don't want April to come at all because I don't want you to leave". These kids have stolen my heart.

'Te Quiero Mucho'

2010-10-24T12:41:00.000-07:00

We are currently preparing for the advent of a tropical storm and possible hurricane. I suppose the majority of preparation is mental, but there are a few actual preparations; closing windows, locking doors, charging lap tops in case the power goes out.. La Ceiba is in code red mode, so tomorrow most everything in the city should be closed. Honestly I'm a little, tiny bit excited to see how it will be. This is of course while the weather is still calm and the wind isn't howling. The weather today though was really nice, perfect temperature and humidity, and only a little bit of rain in the afternoon which we avoided perfectly. Right now we are listening to the rain, and sitting at the kitchen with the smell of freshly baked bread wafting around us. Yes, we made bread and calzones tonight! And let me tell you that it is perhaps the most fabulous bread I have ever tasted. Our resident chef, Eddy, gave us our first official Honduran cooking class. Such a simple, yet delicous recipe! Flour, yeast, sugar, salt, oil and a little garlic and peppers and that was it. 5 minutes to knead it, half an hour to rise, and half an hour to bake. We saved a little aside to use for calzones, flattening the dough and putting in red sauce and cheese; a side of sauteud zuccinies and we are officially spoiled. The three of us are going to come back able to legitamately cook. Oh i'm so excited.

So aside from our cooking today, we also did some cleaning. Clothes were washed, though still aren't dry. Apparently the humdity makes it difficult for them to dry? We also mopped all the floors, though there seems to be little improvement from before since our feet are still black. We had some time to explore La Ceiba today. We walked around the outdoor market, through the booths set up outside. There are no shortage of shoes and hand bags available here. We also found an indoor meat market that we for some reason decided to go into. I've been in markets like that before, with raw meat and animal legs hanging on both sides, but Natalie was the funniest to watch because she immediately covered her nose and ran for the door to the outside. Even Ethan, the only one who eats meat, was slightly grossed out. I bought a bag of Lychee, these little red spiny fruit, and I had my first one. Then we waited out the rain in Pizza Hut, which is definitely more upscale dining for Honduras. A short walk to the hogar, and we spent the afternoon with a few of the kids. Most of them were taking a nap but we helped Moises and Gerson write letters to Harper and Erica. When the other kids woke up, they all clamoured to write letters to their "preferia". Not everyone had time to write but hopefully more letters will go out soon. These letters absolutely break my heart. Why do these kids have to be the absolute sweetest things in the entire world? They remember everything so well, saying how much they miss their friends, and how they love them. You can see that it is true what they write. Moises hand wrote a letter to Harper, and included a picture of himself, as well as a package of cookies and two hard candies. He entrusted it to me to send to her and I will as soon as I can. It was so special to him. Even little Joel attempted to type out a message to Danny. It was so funny watching him, because he is just learning to spell. His complete and total attention was turned to the key board, carefully pressing each key and stringing together a strand of incomprehensible letters. I had to intervene soon to make some sense of what was said, so Danny didn't recieve Joeidenielemetedayqueiro.... which was cute nonetheless. Eddie and I will be working on keeping all the sponsors updated with the kids information, pictures, and letters. Sponsors, expect some more letters! The kids really appreciate what you do for them, and miss everyone they know! Well, we shall ride out the storm tonight and I'll let you know how it goes in the morning!

All grown up

2010-10-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

La escuela no tiene classes hoy, porque ayer fue un dia ferriada. (Today there were not classes at the school because yesterday was a 'holiday'). So we rested up, slept in all the way until 8:30, showered in the cold water because the water heater is mysteriously not working today, and then headed over to attempt to draw money out from our Citi accounts that we purpously set up so they would work, but which do not. The citi bank in the center of town didn't have an atm, so we took a taxi to the mall. Once in citi bank we tried the atm. Our cards were declined and the people at the front said that we couldn't get cash from the citi atm, we had to go next door to an atm at a different bank. At this point we were quite dejected. Ethan had only 5 limperas left (the equivalent of about 20 cents). But we tried the bank next door and Glory Halleluia! our cards worked! Ethan kissed his money. Now why our cards worked at a different bank and not at our citi bank I can't tell you. Limperas in hand, we went shopping for some much needed supplies. I felt so grown up, dealing with all the money and going shopping; coming home and cleaning out the fridge and putting groceries away. I'll have to get used to this!

Eddie cooked some amazing pasta and sauce today! Spaghetti and home made tomato sauce. I don't know if I've ever tasted better. Oh and did I mention that he went to Georgetown? I thought that was a funny coincidence. Anyways, he is going to be the new sponsor coordinator for Helping Honduras Kids. I think that will be great. Already he has made little bios for each of the Hogar kids and is working on udating the sponsor list so he can send them to each sponsor. We are trying to centralize all communication for HHK so we shall get things going soon!

We are launching a new program for the holidays to help raise some much needed funds for HHK and hopefully expose more people to what we do. It is called the HHK Give Challenge. We are sending out packets to all of our donors which include 4 Holiday cards with handmade drawings by the kids. A cover letter asks each sponsor to send these letters to their friends and relatives, asking them to donate to HHK in lieu of recieving a gift for themselves. Our idea is that every person has people who send them gifts that they really don't need. Think about it. Aunt Martha who sends the same yellow sweater every year... you know the type of gifts. We are challenging those who care about our organization to give up gifts for themselves and experience the true meaning of the holidays. For one season to truly give. I think it is an interesting concept, and I know that I'm planning on participating completely. If you want to get involved and send some letters out let me know! I can have a packet of cards made by the kids mailed to you to send out to friends and family. Then your friends and family can donate on line or send checks to you which you can forward to HHK. See how much joy it will bring :D .

A Taste of La Ceiba

2010-10-21T22:32:00.000-07:00

I think I am going to enjoy teaching English more than the kinder. I am more comfortable with the older kids, who are used to listening and want to learn. I love the little one's but I don't know how able I am to occupy four year old minds. I respect my Kindergarten teacher so much more. Lumilla came to the rescue today. She does so well with the kids. She pulled out some modeling clay and they were fascinated with molding it and shaping it. Then she gathered them all around like little ducklings for a story. Soon it was break time and all of the kids went to drink their warm milk which is part of their daily ration. I decided to tackle organizing the library which they have in the back of the kinder. The disarray the books were in was quite impressive. There are two shelving units with four shelves each filled with books, now nicely stacked more or less be grade level. Previously, they were thrown together and obviously hadn't been in use for awhile (evident by the mouse poop scattered throughout). Hopefully the books will be easier to access now. By the time I finished that project, it was 11:00; our allotted time for English classes. I wasn't planning on teaching and was going to let Ethan and Natalie do it, but in typical Kyla fashion I took charge of the second level English class anyways. Natalie began with the first level, the kids who don't know any English. I spent my time trying to find out how much English my kids knew, and was pleasantly surprised. They can all introduce themselves and say where they are from. They know the colors and several verbs. And of course they loved to sing "Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes" which we did several times. It was fun and I think I will have fun teaching the class. After classes were over, we waited for the bus and Rosa and Mercedes decided to teach me the dance they know. Well I ended up with a broken sandal and so was forced to walk around La Ceiba, through the dirt and on the bus and to a taxi etc. without a shoe. Ha! They got a kick out of that. First falling into the mud, then breaking a sandal... Aye.

When I got back to the Volunteer house I walked in to find Carmen sitting on the couch and a house without electricity. We had a conversation for about an hour in my broken Spanish, hoping Cristy would come save us. Turns out the electricity company shut off the power because the bill was more than the automatic payment. Hahahaha, no power because of an unpaid bill! But Cristy came through, got it fixed and then she treated us to a movie. Movies are so inexpensive here! Only $3.00. Granted they are not the latest blockbusters but still. And I am happy to inform you that they WILL be premiering Harry Potter seven in November! Happy days. I tried my first balleada today. These delicious creations are sold on every corner of La Ceiba and consist of a simple, melt in your mouth, handmade on the spot, tortilla filled with beans, cheese and meat or avocado if you ask. So amazing, and the best part is they cost about 40 cents each. Ah you gotta love it. I also learned about Honduran addresses. So the La Ceiba mail system apparently works with landmarks. People do not know street names, or have house numbers. You find a place by saying what its close to. For example, Carlos - A friend of Cristy's whom we met today - lives 'behind the soccer field, in a two story house across from the Pulperia' . And this is his address that he has people send letters to. Somehow mail miraculously is delivered to him! I am amazed. And on that note. The kids want all of their tia's y tio's to send them letters! I now have the official Honduras address for the Hogar de Amor. Ready? "Col Naranjal, Calle montecristo, atras de Gimnasio Nautilus, frenta a Mary's Castle, La Ceiba, Honduras". Mary's Castle is a bright pink house directly across from the Hogar, with a sign that literally names the house 'Mary's Castle". Hahah whatever floats your boat. Tomorrow there is no school, so we can sleep in! Buenas noches!

Teacher? Me?

2010-10-20T20:06:00.000-07:00

We started bright and early this morning with a 5 am wake up call. The familiar sound of my old alarm woke me up, which I brought along with me. I don't know if that's quite the sound I want to remember from home, but that's how it is. A taxi brought us over to the Hogar, and we waited for about 15 minutes for the bus. The kids post look outs around the corner, and when the bus comes they all yell and start sprinting to the bus. It is the funniest thing to watch. On our way back it is the same way, except more worrisome because running to the bus consists of traversing a long, steep set of tire stairs which definitely do not follow any sort of safety regulations. Ahead of me on the way down was a little tiny girl in my kinder class, not more than five years old. She was keeping up with the older kids until one of the boys swoops down and throws her over his shoulder and away they go. I was caught up in the rush as well, afraid by the kids pace that if I come last I'll be left behind. Who knows.

Today at the jungle school was quite the experience. David had told us that we would be helping in the Kinder, but what I didn't realize was that we (and as it turned out, I) would be the sole teacher for the little ones. I'll say strait off that they are the cutest things I have ever seen. In class today were 4 girls and two boys all around 3 and 4 years old. We arrived at the school, and the director separated us each into grades. He sent Natalie to help in 1st and 2nd grade, Ethan to 3rd and 4th, and me to Kinder. Natalie and Ethan were each helping the teacher, but for Kinder I was the teacher. I sat down in the classroom, in a mini chair around the mini table, with 6 mini people surrounding me looking at me for direction and I was completely overwhelmed. What am I going to do or teach these little ones who trustingly call me maestra? So I started simple, with names. I later attempted to begin on the alphabet, but quickly gave up that endeavor. I finally settled on letting them draw with crayons and play with Lego's for the four hours I had them. When one got bored I transferred him or her to another toy, simply attempting to keep them occupied. I enjoyed moderate success, since it isn't too difficult to let a four year old entertain him or herself. They really are extremely cute though. Kevin is the troublemaker, but also very intelligent. Yolani doesn't speak a word, but she was copying her letters when none of the others were listening. Avi has the most adorable smile and Keyla loves to be read to. Tomorrow I shall be more prepared. I will brainstorm something hopefully. Along with my 4 hour lesson plan, I need to brainstorm with Ethan for our first English class! The director asked us to begin tomorrow and politely dismissed my request to start next week. Ha, it shall be interesting.

Britta, I think it might be a good idea for you to come down to visit soon. Sherlin is asking me when you'll be here and remembers that you said in December! They truly remember everyone who say they will return, so I hope most everyone can make it in April! Reina's presents from Alexis were a huge hit. She proudly showed her watch of to me this morning and was thrilled when it said the exact same time as mine. Daniel was stoked with his new walkie talkie set, and Paola happily took her princess set with knowledge it was from her "amiga especial" Kylee. At the hogar in the afternoon a clown came to entertain the kids. Natalie and Ethan told me about it, as I was at Spanish classes, but apparently the clowns were a huge hit. Moises was dressed up as a gorilla, and Daniel was "cut in half". I also heard that Joel is taking after Danny with his power ranger moves. It poured this afternoon, and Natalie and Ethan walked back to the Volunteer house. There sopping when I got home. Very funny. Well, I'm off to plan lessons!

Easing our Way In

2010-10-19T19:24:00.000-07:00

I currently have no idea where Natalie and Ethan are. It is seven and I am not worried exactly... but slightly confused. Although Eddie is gone as well so I am going to assume that they are with him for now. I hope they come back soon because I am starving. It's strange being in the house all by myself, but it is kind of nice as well. I got back around 5, took my first Honduran taxi over here, and then immediately began to clean the kitchen when I went to search for a clean cup and they were all scattered everywhere. The state of the kitchen would make my step mother crazy. Even I was a little worried about sanitation, so I began to clean off the counters and cabinets, wash dishes and scrub the grease from the stove. I also emptied out several science experiments of who knows what that were left in various containers in the kitchen. I am leaving the refrigerator for another day when I have more time and cleaning supplies to tackle whatever smell is wafting from it. Or maybe I'll make one of the others do it... Just kidding :)

Today we had a late start, and some time to catch up on some much needed sleep. Hopefully everyone got enough in reserve for the rest of the week as well, since we have a 5 am wake up call to catch the bus at the Hogar de Amor with the rest of the kids. David was nice enough to pick us up today at a more reasonable hour (10:30, I felt spoiled) and drive us to the Jungle School to get us settled in. We watched a little bit of the classes, and I believe it has been decided that we will be teaching the Kinder. They don't have a steady Kinder teacher right now, because the Spanish volunteers left and Luzmilla, one of the older girls who normally helps, has been out for the past few days. So the little one's are wandering around the school with no where to go. Now I have no idea how to begin teaching a Kinder class but I'll see what I can do. Also, Jack, if you get a chance to read this, Rosa want you to write her another letter ;) .

I headed back to the Hogar with David, before Natalie and Ethan who took the bus back with the kids. I was hoping I could make it to my class in time, but I got there half an hour late anyways. It's all right. It is so funny because David loads his truck up with kids who bounce around as he goes down the dirt road. Then, when they've reached their stop, they pound on the roof and off they go. We got to the Hogar and the two littlest ones were, Joel and Lula, were waiting at the gate. Both of them are so smart and remember so much it amazes me! Joel showed me around his room and asked about Brian. I was surprised that he remembered Brian and Danny! I asked about Nate as well and he called out "Enfermo!" which made me laugh so much. Lula decided to look through my back pack a little later. I had completely forgot that I put Rachel's letter to her in my pack this morning. Lula pulled out the letter to look at what it was, and the smile that lit her face when she saw her name on it was absolutely, perfectly beautiful. She looked at me for confirmation that she could take it, and when I nodded she disappeared to open it. A little later I went to look for her and she had all of the pictures spread around her, and the few dollars clutched in her hand. So little means so much.

My last stop for the day was to the Spanish class I signed up for. My teacher is very nice, so hopefully I'll start picking up on the language pretty quickly. Natalie and Ethan's parents, don't worry. They are back now. They went to dance class with the kids. Well, tomorrow bright and early!

Bienvenidos a Honduras!

2010-10-19T18:17:00.000-07:00

After months of preparation and accumulation of expectations, waiting patiently for the day to arrive, I am finally here! Sitting in the room that will be my home for the next six months, if all goes as planned that is. Ethan, Natalie and I all share a little room with three twin beds tucked next to each other. It's cozy but we think we will manage. The house has two other rooms, one occupied by Eddie, an extremely nice volunteer who is apparently a chef. We all decided that is going to come in very handy, though he doesn't know it yet. The third bedroom is taken by Robert. We have not met Robert, and are all three slightly scared to. He was first mentioned to us by Cristy, the volunteer coordinator, who said only that he was "interesting and on meds". More information later came out when we went to pick up our key to the house from another volunteer, Kim. She had rented a house and any mention of Robert sent her begging Cristy not to give him her number. Unfortunately for Kim, Cristy already had. Woops. So he is still locked in the third bedroom and has not come out for the night. We may even get away with not meeting him because he is leaving in the morning back to the states to "rest and get better". Hmmm. As I write, Natalie somehow managed to break the string for the toilet. She is walking around the house trying to find more string. Hah! Wait, Eddie to the rescue. He is going to be the papa of the house. We can tell already.

Our travels all went relatively smoothly without major hitches. When i arrived to LAX we had a few interesting problems checking in. First off, the woman at the check in thought I was 12 years old and needed paper work to fly unaccompanied. I mean, I understand being rejected from an R rated movie (twice) for looking young, but 12 years old? Then, she gave us some trouble because I had no proof of onward travel before my 90 day Visa was up, but in the end she helped me out by faking a return ticket before that time in case I had trouble at customs. My 12 year old charm must have worked. Natalie and Ethan were not even questioned about return tickets, but I made Ethan come up with a story in case he was asked questions at customs, because his return ticket was for longer than 90 days as well. He would be traveling by bus around the countries with Korey once she joined him. So when we did arrive in San Pedro Sula and walked through customs, I was slightly nervous he would be sent home. But of course the airlines are over cautious and the immigration officers didn't even ask us a single questioned. I'm convinced they looked at us and knew we spoke no Spanish, so thought it wasn't worth their time. We were two hours late into San Pedro Sula because of "mechanical issues" with our plane. I don't typically like to hear that our plane has mechanical issues, especially since we almost took of three times before turning around. So what was supposed to be a two hour plane ride turned into four.

Lenner is the single nicest person i have ever met. Let me say that right off the bat and emphasize it as much as possible. I don't think they make people that nice in the states. Lenner is Cristy's brother, and he picked us up from the airport at 10 and brought us to the Hilton. We all squeezed into his two person truck, and he rattled away about all the different things we should know in San Pedro Sula and in Honduras. He just seemed thrilled in order to have a chance to practice his English. When he heard that we were staying for six months, he became so excited. "Ah! Are you serious?!! And you guys are single, man it's going to be such a fun trip!" Which made us all laugh. He took awesome care of us, arranging for our room, luggage, breakfast, money exchange... literally anything we needed. And then after dropping us off at the bus station he wouldn't even let us give him some money as a thank you.

Cristy and Meily were just as helpful when we arrived in La Ceiba. They picked us up from the bus station, settled us into the volunteer house, and then gave us a little tour of La Ceiba. We stopped by they gym, ate some lunch, and then went to the Hogar de Amor. Everyone who went to Honduras last spring fell in love with the kids. We left a little of our hearts in Honduras, and when I saw their faces, my heart felt whole again. I walked into the Hogar relatively unnoticed. The kids were busy doing homework. I could see Joel on the couch with a book, and Rosa on the computer. Suddenly Rosa turns around to look at the new faces, and the biggest smile lights her face. At that moment, any fear I had of not being remembered was gone. She comes up and gives me a hug and asks me if I cut my hair. I told her that Jack said hi, and the blush that was so often on her face returned in a heart beat. Many of the kids didn't remember me, but when they heard a name that they new they became so excited, asking me when they were coming back. Reina asked constantly about Alexi. "Cuando va a volver, cuando?". Little Joel laughed while remembering Danny's flips, Carolina called out her old cry of "Chelby!" , and Mercedes asked after Harper. I was so happy to tell them they would be back soon. In April! A game of tag soon began, which perhaps was not my wisest decision, especially in flip flops. As I rounded the corner of the hogar, running from the clutches of Ruth, my feet completely flew out from under me and I fell butt first into the mud. Not 10 minutes into my visit and I was sopping and muddy, but laughing so hysterically I couldn't get up. I looked almost as bad as Nate when he purposely dove into the mud patch. Carolina and Lourdes took good care of me though, scolding me for falling, and taking turns washing me off with the hose. No harm done. The kids took Natalie and Ethan in just as easily as they accept any stranger into their hearts. Tomorrow we visit the school, and little by little we shall settle in!

First blog for Kyla in Honduras!

2010-10-18T22:08:00.001-07:00

Kyla has arrived safely in San Pedro Sula. Just waiting for confirmation she as made it to La Ceiba. Next posts will be by Kyla! Good luck Kyla. Stay safe and healty!