Sunday, April 17, 2011

It's not goodbye, it's until later...

I am officially home, safe and sound. I don't have pneumonia, and if I did it already passed. Even my head lice was taken care of before I stepped off the plane. So I am intact, the only marks left on me were those imprints on my heart.

I'll start from the beginning of my last few days. As expected, there were 20 + people in my house on Saturday. The three families brought over all the food to make rice and chicken and salad. I felt so special, because for them to go slightly above their means to send me off meant so much. We talked and took pictures, walked to the store for some ice cream (my treat) and just enjoyed each others company. Some of them gave me little notes and gifts and I made sure not to open them because otherwise my resolve to not cry might not have stood strong. It was a smart choice, because each of them said such nice things that made me miss everything even though I was still there. I promised I would come and say my last goodbye's Monday after school, so I was fine with the knowledge that I would see them all again. Waldy, Lucia, Nelson and Geni spent the night, I did a piojo wash on the girls, taught them how to use a shower and shampoo their hair, and played tickle monster all night long. It was so much fun. I love Waldy. I say it all the time but something about her stole my heart. I miss her. But back to the moment. Sunday I got up semi early in order to go with the Hogar kids to watch them being baptized. 8 of the older kids each took a turn being dipped under the water, washed clean and given a new start in life. It was really powerful to watch, especially for the kids to whom it meant a lot. When it was Rosa's turn, I was crying, just because I wanted so much for her to be given a second chance and a clean slate. The rest of the day was spent at the river, swimming and laughing, eating and having fun. We went back to the Hogar, watched a movie and I said goodbye as late as possible.

On Monday I felt really strongly how short my time was. With only two days left, the help I felt I could give was minimal, so mostly I tried to stay with the kids as much as possible. During school I took time to write letters, so that I could leave a little bit of me with each and every one of them. After school, the Hogar had a really really nice going away party for me. The tias had decorated with a sign that said "gracias Kyla por su amor" and when I walked up I felt like crying. The kids danced and we ate, and then the power went out half way through the program. Typical Honduras, but I didn't even mind. I was in the company of my favorite people, people I love and all was good. Then came time for the kids to say something to me, little thank you's, and then my turn to say something to them. I completely choked up, and it took all I had not to cry. I handed out bracelets and key chains I had bought, just something to show how much they all mean to me, though nothing I could buy would ever truly show that. Around 3, David agreed to take me back up the mountain so that I could say my first real, final goodbye's. And the final goodbye's are the worst. I hiked up to Geni's house with the 4 older girls and Paola, and we spent a few hours talking and laughing. They again made a chicken for me for dinner, and brought up some Soda. David wanted to pick us up at 5, so I was worried about being on time, but they kept telling me to wait a little longer. Every time I would get up to leave I would start tearing up, and when the time finally came, the tears didn't stop. Doña Lucia, who I call Abuela, gave me a hug and told me she considered me one of her own, and then the kids and aunts walked me down to the road where I had to say goodbye to everyone who went to the highschool. My friends. Geni, Alan, Brenda, Nelson, and finally Denia. Denia and I were both crying. She is an amazing, remarkable girl. David drove off and I waved and then I was gone. But not gone forever. Only for now.

After that, I just wanted to skip Tuesday all together. My official last day. But that wasn't to be done. Tuesday passed. The second graders tied me up with string so that I couldn't leave, and then eventually set me free. I almost preferred staying tied up. And when the end of the day came, more tears flowed again, as I said goodbye to Diana, Arturo, Walter, Wilmer, Eloisa, Nayeli, Waldy and everyone really. And my last stop was the Hogar, where I had time to eat with them, take a picture, and once again more goodbye's. But like Danelia said to me, she wouldn't say goodbye, only until later. Because I will be back. Cherlin was crying as I walked out the gate, and Rosa as well, but I was definitely the worst. Just many tears, which continued the whole car ride back, even as I got my stuff for the bus. Then Goodbye's to Anna, Zoe and David and it was all the same. And then I was on the bus, watching the faces of the people I loved pass until I fell asleep. I think I cried more, not because I wouldn't see them again, but because it will never quite be the same. I'll most likely never be there again for 6 months, and though I'll visit it will be shorter. But it's okay. I always knew there would be a 'see you later'. And I did better than I thought I would honestly.

So now I'm home and settling back in. It's crazy how quickly you can fall back into old routines. Driving, having a cell phone, meeting with friends, fighting with sisters... everything. Though it's not quite the same. I was in a slight daze when I got home. Some friends were at the house to meet me, which was really nice. Some things just seem completely surreal. The perfectly paved roads, the lack of trash, being home in general with everything that I have. I miss the Spanish language. I'm afraid I'll loose everything I've learned. And I miss the kids of course. I was talking to Cherlin on facebook (yes they have facebook), and she used my nickname, Moi, and I almost cried. But it's ok. I can talk to them. And though I miss them I'll be back.

People have asked me what I learned from my experience. What mark has it left on me? My truthful answer is that I have no idea. I wish I could impart some well thought out wisdom to the rest of the world, combine my experience into a series of sayings. I can't honestly say that my time there has made me appreciate my life here more, because I found some things in Honduras to be much better. That isn't mainly what I learned. I can't say what impact this has made on my life, or how it has changed it. Perhaps it is too early to tell, perhaps I don't feel changed, only because I can't imagine it being another way. But the experience has undoubtedly shaped a good part of what I will do in my future. I have formed relationships that can not be broken. As I go on and experience more here, I think my time in Honduras will show itself more and more through me. I know there is another world than the middle class american one that I function in. I have seen what amazing things people can do, but I've also been given things to think about. Cultural differences, child raising techniques, economic imbalance etc etc. The list goes on and on but often times these things don't have answers. That Honduras has impacted me is unquestionable, how much so and to what extent is yet to be seen.

Thank you to everyone who has kept in touch with my journey. I don't know if you will all be satisfied with it's ending, but perhaps that's the beauty of it. It isn't an ending, only a beginning to a life that will hopefully lead me to answers and action. All we can do in this world is try, and I will give all I can to try to help those I know, and many more if possible. So thank you again, but I won't say goodbye. So until later... :)

Friday, April 8, 2011

Coming to an end

Some of you may want to stop reading now and turn back, because I'm giving you fair warning that most of my following commentary will be me complaining about the upcoming trip home and goodbye's that will be said. I have spent the last few days mentally and physically preparing myself for my trip home.

But to put that moment off a tad, the time with the group was absolutely awesome. They spent the rest of the week working on the water project which they finished and did an awesome job with!!! Thank you so much to everyone who sacrificed their spring break to work here and hang out with the kids. Now the jungle school finally has running water regularly for the kitchen and for other necessary utilities (bathrooms) in the school. The group was great, worked for the most part without complaint, and worked well with the kids. We had a little fun as well, going to Cayos Cochinos, where I got to join in, as well as hanging at the river. If you would like to hear more about the groups adventures check out their blog at http://hhkspring2011.blogspot.com . I think most everyone had a good time, and hopefully we'll have some people returning again next year. I hear rumors my sister may want to lead the trip... who knows? Eloisa did indeed recover and I was happy to have taken her to the doctors. When the time for goodbye's came to be said, their was almost not a dry eye in the entire bus. The hogar put on a really nice little going away party, and the bus drove off on a river of tears. Eye somehow managed to avoid joining in, but it only made me even more nervous for my own turn coming up. I'm going to be a reck, a complete mess.

So since the group has left it's been kind of back to the old schedule. School in the morning, Hogar in the afternoon. I'm enjoying the time with the kids but I feel as if the dread of leaving is taking over. It's not that I'm  not looking forward to going home at all, because I am a little, it's more that I can't say goodbye. The only thing that makes it easier is that I know I'll be back. Hopefully sooner rather than later. I think I must be a little stressed, because I am now sick. I have a nice whooping cough thats lasted for three weeks, and finally yesterday I decided to try to get some medicine. Then today my body up and decided to get another kind of sick which resembles a little of Montezuma's revenge if you catch my drift. These things have stolen two of my days, Wednesday and Today. I missed school, and now I only have two days left. I did use the time though to go shopping, spend lots of money that I don't have on gifts, and write tons and tons of letters. I just feel like I need to leave a little of myself with the people that I love hear, so that they wont forget me. But I am so afraid they will. Well, not forget entirely, it just seems so easy to settle into normal life again. And that is what I want, but still. I'm sure I'll do a similar thing back home, and settle in slowly, but that doesn't mean I will forget. I definitely won't do that. So it will be fine. I had been planning on spending the night with Denia at her house, but my sickness took care that I couldn't do that, but they were sweet enough to come visit me. I was actually at the hogar though, but Nelson, Walter, and Alan came to fetch me on their bikes. I rode Honduran Style- 2 to a bike which was kind of exciting. I felt bad for Nelson because I weigh quite a bit more than a typical small Honduran haha. I passed out some of my gifts for them and Denia already started crying. I tried to pick out something extra nice for her and finally settled on a little jewelry box where I put a picture of us, with a bracelet inside, as well as a picture frame. For others I gave some of my clothes, jewelry that I bought, and other things. I still have a bit to pass out. I spent today packing up the room, just to get everything ready since I had time. I don't want to waste another minute packing when I can be with the kids. Everything seems in order. About three of the families are coming down tomorrow to have some lunch with me. There could be about 20 or more people in the house. We shall see.

Everything will be changing so soon. I can't believe it at all. I think I'm preparing myself well though. I know what's coming, and I'll be back. But I will miss them and everyone, that much is clear. Things like this leave a mark on your heart.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A flurry of action

These days are passing too quickly!!! I've been so busy and so much has happened. The rest of Carrie and Britta's stay was quite fun. We went to Cayos Cochinos and hung out on the tropical beaches yet again. I felt so deliciously lazy, I loved it. I got a nice tan, snorkeled some, saw some amazing jelly fish, and enjoyed. When we got back, we got ready to go hang out at a house by the river for the night. Zoe, Carrie, Britta and I stayed there. The river is truly incredible and beautiful. I went down and read by its edge, listened to the water, and relaxed in the amazing beauty of the place I am at. On Saturday I left nice and early to go to San Pedro Sula to pick up the group! I was so excited. I brought Eloisa along and she thought I was quite crazy the way I was jumping up on down an I peered through this tiny slit where I could see Erica and others emerging. When Danielle came out, I about pushed her over from my hug, and then followed everyone else and it was hugs all around.

After loading up luggage, and the most donations I've ever seen a group bring, we traveled for some lunch, then to the hotel, and finally to the hogar in the night to drop by to say hi really quickly. As the bus pulled up, there were literally screams from inside the hogar in excitement. Everyone from last year got off as fast as they could to embrace their kids, and those who were new jumped right into playing and getting to know everyone. We spent Sunday at the river. The kids got there late because of a miscommunication, but once they were there everyone had tons of fun jumping from rocks and playing soccer etc. Poor Denia gashed open both of her feet. Denia is my closest friend here, 17 years old and one of the toughest girls you'll meet. To see her almost crying I knew she was in lots of pain. But we fixed her all up and it should be getting better. For dinner the group got to sample some Baleadas which they loved, though not quite as much as I love them haha. Needless to say they were delicious.

Yesterday was their first day working. I opted to continue helping with school and skip the hard manual labor. I think it was a good choice. Their project is to improve the water system so that there is a constant and reliable source of water for the kids. We have been without water for the kitchen and bathrooms for the past four days. The group hauled lots of sand, some hacked out a better path, and soon they will begin laying pipes. In the afternoon they all went rafting but I opted to stay behind at the river playing with the kids, since I'd been the week before. My plan was to wait for the rafts to pass, since I was hanging out near the end of the treck. So I passed a lovely 4 hours, playing, being smothered by little ones, etc. I figured they should be by about 3 30. Then it became 4, then 4 30 and at 5 I figured they weren't coming for whatever reason. Eloisa was staying with me,so I went in search of a telephone. Deanna lent me one and I eventually found service to call David. I was quite unsure what had happened. It turns out they simply left me! Ha. My own father forgot me. The rafts had stopped at a higher up place because the river was a tad shallow, and instead of coming to get me where I said I would be, they went back- assuming that I would have left by then! Absurdity. So I was more or less stranded up in the jungle. David did come to get me, and once I was back all the kids told me how worried they were, and how my dad was worried, and they asked if he would be mad at me. It was quite sweet. David had called Denia as well, and before he picked me up, she, Geni, and Brenda came running down in search of me. Denia looks at me and starts to tell me off about how she was studying and then David called so she came looking for me and she thought I was drowned. It was really sweet. I feel safe up there just because there are a lot of people who would take care of me.

Today was a different sort of day. Eloisa got sick this morning and is still sick and I'm quite worried about her. I don't know if she ate something or what. She didn't look to good all morning at the school, but she's one of the girls who could be dying but still have a smile on her face. She wasn't the only one. Joseal was crying because his teeth hurt. When I asked him to show me it was obvious why. He has two enormous holes drilled into his gums from cavity's. He needs them pulled badly and I told his dad that as well. The poor thing it was really hurting. Then I learned one of the girls was being sexually abused by and uncle and that just upset me because she is the sweetest thing. Sometimes things are just upsetting. A lot of the group was sick as well :( So I was wandering around quite worried.

A quick trip to the campisino village today, back to the hogar and then to dinner, and I am now here exhausted writing. Se vaya bien.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The little things

Time has been good here, running as normal, at least as normal as normal gets. I go to school and help with Kinder, or anything else that needs doing. Classes are good, and the school has settled into a nice rhythm. There are always interesting things happening. The kids continue to amaze me. One day last week the bus had to leave an hour early because of a strike that was supposedly going to happen and possibly take over the bridge of the highway so that no one could cross. Since we were early, I watched from the window of the bus as one of the girls, Norma, crossed the river carrying not one, but two of her family members across, barefoot while fighting against the current. She must have feet of steel in order to do that. I have difficulty crossing on my own barefoot because of all the rocks that constantly jab into my feet.

The new play set at the hogar is finished now. It's quite something to watch the kids fly down the slide and then keep going because the concrete in front kind of slopes down to the next classroom. Danerous? Just a little. Supposedly there is supposed to be a fence built in front but we shall see. Fresita got really sick for a little bit. I think she had worms and all of the sudden she became listless and wouldn't eat. I got so worried and we eventually took her to the vet. He kept her for a few hours, gave her some medicine, didn't charge us money! and now she is on the recover path thank goodness. One of the little kittens wasn't so lucky :( She also got sick and didn't make it. The poor thing was so cute, even as you could tell she was fading, she was still purring. The other four seem to be alright. Not perfect because they have some sort of bowel movement problem but they are running around and okay. I just want to deliver them all safe to the kids, and ready to be good pets.

Carlos and Moises had a bit of a fight the other day at the hogar. It's strange how quickly things can turn from play and joking, to pure hostility. They were working on some homework and apparently Moises farted and then put his hand as if to grab it and rub it in Carlos' face. Well Carlos wasn't too keen on that, and since he had scissors in his hand he decided to reach over and gash Moises' leg. After that they  made a move as if to start hitting each other, but luckily Kenedi was there and took a slug on her arm for the team, broke it up and then I stepped in, grabbed them both and tried to sort it out. Moises seemed to kind of shrugged it off, but Carlos was shaking with anger. That kind of took me back, because I still don't see how that could have set him off so badly. I decided he needed to walk it off and try to get himself under control, so we went for a stroll around the block. He wouldn't say much but he looked better at the end of it. I still feel like there must have been something more, but who knows.

Carrie and Britta are here! It's so exciting and we're having fun. I hope they are enjoying themselves. I went to San Pedro Sula on Friday with Cristy. We stayed with Lenner (her brother and nicest man in the world) and went in the morning to get them. Unfortunately I slightly mixed up the times of their arrival so we left late to pick them up. On our way over, we had a bit of an incident when the hood came up and hit the wind shield and completely cracked the entire thing. It was an enormous bang and thank god we were in a semi deserted street or that could have been a problem. We continued on and finally got to the airport to pick them up. Me, Carrie and Britta headed back with a friend of Cristy's to Ceiba while she stayed to get the wind shield fixed, so here we are safe and sound. We went to the hogar the first day, and as we walked in Cherlin took one look at Britta and a mischievous smile lit her face and she tells me all sassy like 'I knew she was coming!'. Britta hadn't told Cherlin, and I'd only mentioned that a surprise was coming. She had then guessed what it was and I denied it, but the two of them really are inseparable. On Saturday the rain foiled our river plans, so we went early to the Hogar to help decorate for the fiesta. The Hogar looked really nice, and Zoe face painted almost everyone. There were lots of little tigers running around. The program was good and the food was nice, and it was my favorite to just dance around with everyone after. I got to tell them about our 5 30 wake up call which they were thrilled about, but they seem to be hanging in there. They are on miscellaneous job duty, which includes organizing the library, painting and covering books. I think they're enjoying it.

On Sunday we hiked to an amazing waterfall, on Monday after school we hung out at the river with 23 kids, and today we went rafting on the river. So beautiful, and such amazing days. Yesterday I was in charge of all the kids, and wore my voice out yelling to not jump off rocks, not bathe naked, etc. etc. I wasn't too stressed though. And today was beautiful. Drifting down the river with the sun and friends and everything. Amazing. So I'm enjoying myself a lot. I'm going to miss so many things. Actually mostly the kids. I love them. So thats it, same old story :) lots to look forward to!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Thank God for HHK

There are certain times when I am here that really make me realize the amazing work that HHK does. This past weekend drove that in for me more than any other time I have been here. I decided to go to El Progresso in order to attempt to make some connections with an organization called Students Helping Honduras, which also does awesome work. I had run into them on the Georgetown campus, and since I will be there soon I wanted to see what it was about. They have chapters all of the US that send volunteers down to build housing and schools in and around the El Progresso area. I met the director, Shin Fujiyama, and he and his crew have accomplished an amazing amount. It was great getting to talk with him and meet some people from Georgetown as well. It even looks like we may be able to work out some sort of work together with SHH and HHK, so that is exciting as well. We shall see if it develops. Hope so!

On Saturday morning I caught a bus over to El Progresso, about 2 hours from La Ceiba, and met up with the staff. A new group of 60 volunteers was coming in that day so I met a bunch of new people, and went with two of the girls to see Villa Soleada, which is the pioneer project of SHH. There are 44 homes there that were built I believe, with a community center and what will soon be a full running Children's home. It was nice seeing the families and the kids, and just taking everything in.

Sunday made a huge impact on me. SHH took their group to a state run orphanage in San Pedro Sula. It was awful. Simply awful. The minute I walked into the place I didn't like it, I can hardly imagine living there. It is built like a prison, complete with a guard tower. The rooms are all locked up, and the entire area smells. The only redeeming aspect is a nice play ground in the back, but besides from that there isn't much. The poor kids though are what got to me. These are not healthy kids. Almost all of the boys had scabs on their heads, and a lot of kids had cuts or wounds on their faces and bodies. These kids also weren't socially or mentally healthy most of them. There were  many special needs kids that were not getting the attention they needed. None of the kids get the attention they need. All of the kids are 13 or under and there are about 130 at the facility with 3 staff members to look after them all. One staff is dedicated to the 20 or so 'babies' in the nursery, another to the 20 special needs kids, and another to all the rest. These kids are growing up with almost a complete lack of any adult figure. They don't get medical attention, educational attention, basically no attention. They are growing up among kids in an environment that no kid should be in. But of course the answer is always the same. There just aren't the resources to take care of them. Not enough money sent over. Which is true, but why? So what's the answer. The only thing we can do is build a private orphanage and get them out, which is exactly what HHK did. Thank God our kids are where they are. I don't know if they were ever in a place like that but I certainly hope not. But now that I saw it, I can't stop thinking about the other kids. Who won't grow up healthily or develop correctly. Many will probably become social misfits or gang members.

I went into the baby ward. That for me was maybe the worst part. Cribs are stacked together, each with a baby or two in them. One of the babies was had arms and legs about as big as my thumb. She was absolutely tiny, and just sucking on her thumb like she was trying to eat it, but completely quiet. Others cried from hunger, from needing to be changed, from wanting attention from the one house mother who was paid to watch them. Not all of them were babies in the cribs. There were kids that looked at least 7 or 8 years old, who never developed past the baby phase. I don't know their stories but it's so difficult to see. I worry about the babies who wont get the love they need to grow. The entire thing was a mess and I did not leave that place a happy person. It's not fair.

So after that we grabbed lunch and I had a 2 hour bus ride to sit through with those images in my head. It almost surprises me though how quickly I can get  back into my normal routine, and not think about it. Maybe I"m in the mind set that I can't do anything at present, so it's better not to dwell on it, though I'll make sure not to forget. I am more convinced though that we need to make sure HHK's work continues. It takes so much to support a small orphanage, but the work is worth it. The kids deserve the attention. HHK isn't perfect, but it's quite a bit better than that. Of course it's resources that are the problem, and they could do more with more, but how will they ever get them. Ugh

Monday it was back to class and helping out with Kinder. Actually, thinking about it that's a lie. I came down with a 103 fever on Monday and was asleep all day. I don't know where it came from. Could have been from the orphanage. So that was fun. Tuesday was also a recovery day, but luckily by the night I was ready to go. We went out to a movie with the kids which was fun of course. Wednesday was school again, followed by the hogar and then a night time swim at the beach with the kids. I played some soccer and we all had a blast and it was awesome. I love them. All the time I spend with them only pounds this fact in more and more, and yet my brain echoes ' your leaving... your leaving....' but I try to deny it. Today I went with David to help drop off donations in the Campesino village. I hadn't seen it in quite awhile so it was good to go. In the afternoon we went to buy paint in order to paint the kinder class tomorrow and I spent a bunch of money. It was great. Then I went to the Hogar to pick up a batch of 5 kittens I am now currently caring for. The mother had them in the hogar and then left. They are quiet needy and will be more work, and the house is becoming a half way house for animals but they are adorable. So thats it, I am tired and goodnight!

Friday, March 4, 2011

Transitions

This week was my first week without a job. I got booted out. Well not really of course, but I was really just beginning to really get into the swing of teaching kinder. I quite love it surprisingly and its strange now that its no longer my classroom. But of course that means that there is good news and that we found a new teacher! He is now teaching 5th and 6th grade and the kids seem to really like him. Bien chistoso. Maestra Kenia went to first and second grade, and the teacher for that level moved down to Kinder. So therefore, I am no longer maestra Kyla. Just volunteer haha. But it's better that way. Since I'm leaving and all. Although, in some way moving out of a teaching position really hit it home for me that I am indeed leaving in a little over a month. My heart kind of aches every time I think about it. So I prefer not to, though it's never far from my mind. I feel like I'm on the countdown now. I had hoped for a little while to extend my stay until May, but it doesn't seem like thats going to be possible.

Anyways, I've been helping the new teacher, Marie, get used to the classroom routine. She is very young, 18 like me, and inexperienced, and to be honest the first three days I was quite annoyed with her. Almost angry. Sometimes she lacks the strength to run a classroom, she is soft spoken and doesn't have that great of control. She would prepare during class and she didn't have a great grasp on when the kids were bored. After working pretty hard at ordering the class, getting kids to listen etc, I didn't want all my work undone. So, for better or for worse, I wrote a note on Wednesday telling her that she needed to be a bit more prepared and a few other things. It wasn't mean but it was pretty direct and I debated whether or not to give it to her, and once I did I regretted it but I figured it was too late to dwell on it after that. Thursday morning came and I was quite nervous that she would be mad at me, but thankfully she took it in the best way possible. She admitted that there were things she needed to work on and she took some of my advice really well. She had a lesson planned out, took control of the class pretty well, looked over both parts of the class, led the line etc. etc. I was really impressed and relieved. No one likes to be criticized, especially by someone that is the same age as you. I also was nervous because looking back it really wasn't my place to say those things. I think once in awhile I have a problem with doing things, or wanting to do things, that are the responsibility of others. I mean it in the best possible way, but I have realized that I do like to be in control of certain things. I'm working on knowing the difference of when help is wanted, and when I'm infringing. Someone needs to give me a job haha. I've taken a backseat in the classroom though.

A new nurse came and he and Kim are working on doing head checks for all the kids at the jungle school and treating the worst cases of lice. We desperately need more lice shampoo. Some of the kids are simply covered. Well not just the kids. You can add me into the mix. Awesome, though I've mostly got control of it I believe. There is also a scalp infection thats going around that makes the kids loose their hair and I reallllly don't want to get it. I should be fine. Lots of hand sanitizer. I feel like I've learned a lot more about abuse lately, different cases of it. There has to be a point where I stop thinking about it, because otherwise I would never rest. These kids who are typically so full of smiles come every day and you fall in love with them and they go through so much. I just hope each and every one will turn out to live a happier life. Today I went with Maestra Kenia to visit a family who isn't sending their kids to school any more, though they did last year. For those of you who remember my complaining about Kevin from kinder the year before, he didn't return to school this year and it made me worried. So we went up their and Kenia talked with the parents. I think they may come Monday, though their seemed to be problems because they had no birth certificates or something of the sort. On our way down we met up with a few of the volunteers who had gone swimming with the kids. While swimming, Samir from my kinder class had fell and gashed his eyebrow, and Deanna, his older sister, was so so worried because she said that her mom was going to beat her for not watching him better. She asked us to stay and talk with her mom so of course we agreed, and so we just hung out for about 3 and a half hours waiting for her mom to get home. Kenia had left with Cristy, so it was three of us. I was worried for her, because I know how things work here, and she was definitely going to get a beating for something that wasn't her fault. It sucks so much and there is so little we can do. Hitting is so ingrained up in the area. The first response to anything is to grab a stick and wield it high until a kid listens. It's kids, animals, anything really. You get obedience through force. I extremely dislike it, even though I love the people. It's so hard to change.

So that is it. We have a full house of volunteers now. It's been fun. Somehow I seem to be spending less and less time with the kids, or it feels like it, but I'm trying to help where I'm needed. Soaking in everything still. Looking forward to certain people coming down :) Missing everyone a tad. I send my love!

Sunday, February 27, 2011

I've been working really hard

Yes, I'll admit it now. I've been working very hard. Really sacrificing myself for the good of others while lying on a beach in the beautiful bay islands of Honduras. I think any praise or acknowledgement that has been given to me should be rescinded, because if I was really working I wouldn't have been where I've been the past two weekends. I can't believe it's been that long since I've written. So to begin...

Last Friday three of the volunteers and I decided to go to Tela. Tela is a little coastal city about an hour from Ceiba known for it's beautiful beaches. We left early on Saturday morning to grab the bus over and off we went. The four of us make quite a sight going anywhere. There are two girls from Germany, one from England and then me. Three of us are blond and we are all very tall by Honduran standards. We got there in good time and went to find a hotel. We had booked one a few days before but after talking about it, we decided it was too expensive. Luckily we are all on a pretty tight budget. The taxi recommended a few places and then took us to one. It was nothing fancy but clean enough. Then it was off to the beach. Unfortunately our first day it was cloudy and rainy. We could see the beach stretching in both directions but the drizzle kept us under the palapa of the restaurant. We just talked and laughed and it was good. At one point it was quite funny because there was a group of guys from Mexico a few tables over on vacation as well. They sent over one of the boys who was selling coconut bread to ask us to come over and sit with them. We politely declined and then laughed it away. We went out for awhile in the night to take in the town a bit and then headed back to the hotel to sleep. When we woke in the morning I went over to check my cash stash and discovered an unpleasant surprise. 500 limperas (about $25)  were missing from my wallet. I had left it in the room when I went out the night before and when I said something, Zoe found out she was missing $10. I thought that it was really strange that both of us were only missing some of our money, so I figured it must have been someone from the hotel that took it and was trying to make it so we wouldn't notice it was gone. Then I looked around the room to see how they got in, and one of the windows was completely broken and could easily be slid open without any trouble. Oooh I was mad, but also super happy at the same time that not everything was gone because it could have easily been so much worse. My credit card, camera, etc. When we went to leave, I told the lady at the front that someone took our money and she went right over to the woman who was watching the hotel the night before and asked her about it. The woman was super defensive, and asked why anyone would only take some of the money and it was obvious that it was her. We couldn't do anything more though so we packed up and left. When we looked at the guide book later it said that it was a good hotel for the price but that there were rumors things disappeared from guests rooms. Well, rumors are true. Don't stay at Hotel Bertha.

Sunday morning though was beautiful. The sky was clear, the sun was shining, and Anna, Zoe and I were set to go on a tour of Punta Sal. We took a boat across the bay of Tela to a point about 45 minutes out. The tour led us across a small hiking trail where we saw tarantula's, enormous spiders and monkeys! It was really neat. Then, we got to relax on the beach for the rest of the day, taking in the sand and the sun and the water. We made a few friends from Tegucigalpa. One was 13 and the other was 11 and reminded me so much of my little sister it was slightly eerie. Lunch was a traditional Garrifuna lunch of fried fish and the rest of the day was simply nice. Once we got back to Tela, we picked up Miriam, who had stayed behind, from the beach and caught a bus back to Ceiba.

The week went really well I think. The kinder kids did well and I'm just getting into the swing of teaching. Having a schedule to follow every day makes everything a thousand time easier, because there are only a few hours of space each day that I actually have to fill with a plan. The kids are so cute too. The two little trouble makers, Daniel and Samir, are getting closer to me every day. I want to be mad at them but I can't because they are really the smartest kids in the class. It's a cute kind of trouble making also. Erg. I can really tell a difference in the kids when I bring snack versus when I don't. On Wednesday I had the snack set out and completely forgot to grab it in the morning. So frustrating. Carolina, one of the moms who helps me, said that her little kidnergartener went home and told her that I had forgotten it for the day. When I leave I'm going to have to figure out some way to keep it going, because kids don't learn on empty stomachs. On the friday before our weekend in Tela, we had gym class and took the kids down to the river. It was fun and we ran around, but Glenda found something pretty bad on the back of one of the little girls. Leiry, who is the cutest thing with bobbing curls and always a huge smile on her face, had four darkly imprinted belt buckle marks in her back that were just beginning to bruise. You could see the square in her back with the line for the clip. I have no idea what she did or who did it or why, but there is no reason- ever- to hit a kid like that. I realize that hitting is the way to keep the kids in line for most of the people who live up in the jungle, but there is a fine line and that was leaps past it. Even the other moms said that something had to be done, and Leiry just smiled up at us as we looked over her back. She must be used to pain. The following Tuesday she hit her head hard against the table and then got right back up like it didn't faze her. Two minutes later I look over at her forehead and a lump the like a thimble had emerged from that exact spot. Any other kid would have burst out in tears for ages. Anyways, David and all of the teachers got together to write a note to the parents saying that treatment like that needs to stop, and if they notice anything else further action will be taken. What I don't know, but hopefully it's enough just to let them know that we are keeping track. So besides that, kinder is good. Every day I get pretty tired but it's only half the day. The rest of the day I'll either go to the hogar, or go shopping or once and awhile head to the beach, but I think from now on I'll mostly go to the hogar. I love the kids too much.

And finally there was this weekend, which made the list for one of the best couple days of my life. I spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday with people I love in a surreal, beautiful place, taking in the sun, the beach, the marine life; opening coconuts, eating, playing and laughing. Eight of the Hogar kids, me, Denia, 3 of the volunteers, Cristy, Meily, David, and some relatives and friends- 20 in total- went to Southwest Cay for the weekend. It is a cay off of Utila that David shares with two other families. Basically a private island that we had to ourselves for the weekend. 20 of us on paradise. It isn't big, but it's just big enough that there is plenty to run around on and especially swim. All the time I was in the water. Snorkeling off the reef that runs all the way around the island, watching colorful fish dart in and out of the coral in the crystal blue water, and seeing the sunlight dapple through the waves onto the sandy bottom below. Taking pictures, some good and some bad, underwater and out. Kayaking and taking turns ferrying the kids around on the kayak. Playing on the pier and throwing kids in, and in turn being pushed in by them. Sad to say they won more often than not. Watching as Rosa, Mercedes, and Denia attempted to go on a fishing trip and then came back with nothing. It's a good thing we weren't relying on their trip for a meal. Laying on the beach, falling asleep if I felt like it. Peeling and breaking coconut after coconut. I got so good at it after awhile although my hands are now stained a purple-ish color for whatever reason. It was all so good, so good.  At night we lit an enormous bonfire on one end of the island, and raced hermit crabs to see who's was the fastest. Mine won 3 times in a row hah. We played limbo in the dark, and then all went out to lay on the dock and look at the thousands of stars that glinted so brightly overhead, and feel the wind blow at our faces and our hair. I felt so full of life. It was an adventure to walk out to the bathroom that was only a hole right over the water, especially at night when you hoped you wouldn't step on a hermit crab. But my favorite part of all were the 9 amazing kids that were with with me. Adjusting Santos's snorkel, throwing Angelo in the water, and then being pushed in by Daniel. Being dragged around by Cherlin and told to open coconut after coconut. Laying on the pier with Rosa, Denia, Mercedes and Sara at night and laughing until our stomachs hurt. Doing all the work kayaking as Daniel and Paty put their heads in the water to take a look at the fish. Putting Santos to bed and having him tell me a story about little red riding hood. Taking pictures with Rosa. All of those moments that stay with you. Those are the one's that last the longest.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

And it was good

Kinder went beautifully this week. I couldn't have been happier with what we have. It's so exciting when you get a schedule that works and makes the kids listen and they are learning. So rewarding! Hopefully it keeps up. On Monday I launched the official kinder schedule for 14 kindergarten kids in a 6' x 9' classroom. We begin each day by assigning jobs to 4 of the kids. The jobs include line leader, snack helper, trash collector and weather calendar. The kids who have the jobs raise their hand and get some acknowledgment. Then we move onto the weather calendar, when the person in charge draws what the weather is like and puts it on the correct day, to keep track. Following that we have the daily news, where we go around and ask each kid to share something and record it in a binder. This helps them begin to tell a story, and remember things from the day before. We then sing a song together, wash our hands, and the snack person helps pass out breakfast that I provide for the kids. Following that we clean up and start our morning activity. This week we've worked on tearing paper, crumpling up and gluing it, cutting, colors and shapes. The kids are actually pretty good at focusing and staying on task. To keep them in line, I made a card chart like the one in the states. I used my own elementary school experience, when we had to change our card if we got in trouble. All of them stayed green until today, when Daniel changed to yellow and had a time out for climbing on the railing when I said no. The punishment seemed to make an impact on him so that was good.

After activity, we take them up for their milk break, when they get warm fortified milk, and then march them up to the sink to brush their teeth. Then back down the tire steps for an outdoor game which is always the most difficult with minimum space. After that we have story time, and then rest time where they lay their heads down for 10 minutes and are still. It actually works! I never would have thought it possible but it does! It helps that play time is right after rest time, so we can threaten to shorten it if they don't try to close their eyes. And of course, play time at the end where they get access to several toys and play together. It's really quite lovely and runs well and all in all exciting :) Eddy has started to take over a bit with Kinder. We've worked it out so that I plan the lessons, and then he teaches most of them. So really, I kind of get the not as fun part and most the work... but I don't mind and he does do really well with the kids so I'm happy. One day, I even left class for a bit to check out the other classrooms. Zoe, the volunteer from England, had told me that it had been kind of difficult to keep everyone in reign, and boy was she right. Second grade was all out of their seats and not paying attention. The teacher was on the other side of the classroom with 1st grade so I kind of went up front and began barking orders and trying to get them listening. Waldy, who I adore, was in the class but she is the worst listener. I think she was kind of surprised when I got on her case. I was laughing the next day when she was telling me that I'm not allowed in her class anymore ha.

Other news... we have a bus!! It's so exciting. All for HHK. That way, the kids get to school on time, we don't squeeze thirty people into the van, and the kids from the jungle school don't have to walk quite as far. It's a nice bus too. On another note, Gerson is talking to me again! After a month of not acknowledging my existence, he is finally my friend again. I still have no idea what I did, but I'm happy his mood is over. The group from Kentucky left today. It's so strange having the house again almost to ourselves. It is me, Zoe from England, Ana from Germany, and Miriam who arrived today who is also from Germany. A good group. I'm sure I gained weight from the last two weeks. We had our meals cooked for us Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner- Kentucky style. Soooo good, but so bad at the same time. Ah well. I almost forgot!!! We got a puppy! She is adorable and her name is Fresita. I showed up to the Hogar on Sunday (which I also didn't mention which was the Valentines party and the Hogar looked gorgeous) and she was there. Someone had brought her their the day before. She is only about 4 weeks old and tiny and I decided that she could not stay there for a few weeks. So I took her back to our house so that she can get a little more durable and bigger, train her a bit and get her ready for life in a house with 22 kids. Soooo cute. She is good :)

Friday, February 11, 2011

It starts again

My alarm went off at 5:10 this morning for the third day in a row. I do not approve. In other words, school has officially begun. We have kicked off the new school year for better or for worse. I'm sitting here trying to think back to the beginning of the week and am having difficulty, the past three days have been all consuming. Monday and Tuesday I spent both days organizing at the Jungle School for classes, which began on Monday. A few of the women from the group went with me and we cleaned and moved stuff around and I was informed that I would be teaching Kinder again! Well, awesome. I didn't mind too much but it is soooo tiring. More on that later. I didn't see how the school would be ready in time, but somehow everyone managed. One of the women helped enter a school roster onto my computer because there is no access to a computer at the school. Lucy and I went shopping on Tuesday afternoon for some teacher supplies, and then again with Maestra Kenya on Wednesday. They seriously have so little, and the group donated some money for supplies so we went out to help. I don't know what they would have done without it. Everything at that school is just to 'make do'. I was looking through ideas for teaching Kinder, and I'm looking at the resources that school in the US have and it's so incredibly different! A big classroom with toys and different areas, a place to make a snack. Outdoor play space. I have none of that. And it's the same for the older classes. Really, the kinder is more like Pre School because the kids are learning basic manners and listening more than actual reading and math.

The first day went all right. We got started late and kids kept trickling in for two hours. It seemed like many were unsure that classes actually started that day. The teachers were kind of scrambling, settling into new rooms and sorting kids out. The group also set up a little 'vacation bible school' for the different grades which took up time. Kinder went pretty well. I have 11 kids in total (13 now because two joined). We began by introducing ourselves and then we did a little art project with handprints. I taught them "duck duck goose" though it turned into "duck duck tiger" when I realized I didn't know the Spanish work for goose. The poor kids will be forever confused. I attempted to sing a song but they were not excited about that prospect. We drew and colored, and I bribed them into being good by promising play time at the end. I've decided that bribery is  my best tool for control. I'm no good at punishing and they don't really care if I do anyway, but if I wave a pack of play dough in front of them, I get complete attention. It's amazing. I'm teaching them to walk in a line, and it's really quite cute watching them walk up and down the steps after me.

The second day we got locked out of the classroom. I have my keys to Maestra Kenya and she forgot them, so we had class outside. Luckily there were a few supplies from shopping so we went over body parts, class rules, attempted to sing 'head shoulders knees and toes' and did a few other things. The biggest challenge is just controlling them. At one point, I had to stop them and tell them the rules. I think they are testing me to see if I'll follow through with my threats of time out. Well, I did and one of the little girls had to sit out for half the time of playing with play dough. Most of the kids are really sweet. Daniel, Carlitos and Samir are the little trouble makers but cute nonetheless. Little Ingrid cries about every day but quiets down when I pick her up. There are two twins that for the life of me, I couldn't understand what their name was and asked them about twenty times. Finally we had to check the registry and it turned out to be Leiry and Lleilin, so no wonder I hadn't a clue. We've also had a few incidents that have been tough for me. On Thursday towards the end of class, all of the sudden Keyla just grabs her stomach and starts bawling and spitting up. She gasps out that it hurts and just kept crying. Lucy was there and I asked her to take her to the kitchen. She was starving from hunger. She hadn't had anything to eat probably since lunch the day before, and finally she couldn't take it. This little five year old, crying from hunger. They put a plate of food in front of her and she stuffed half a tortilla in her mouth. And today was even worse. Again, it was towards the end of class. We were outside because the kids had all just got a special stuffed animal and I look over and Yesli is sitting down holding her bear, crying and leaning over trying to puke. I take the bear, lean her forward and she pukes on the cement all over. I call for a mother who comes and walks her around. She sits down and five minutes later its the same thing. It was bad. They took her to the kitchen and she puked some more, but you could tell the only thing in her stomach was the milk from snack time. They told me she puked up blood and some of the worms that live in her stomach. They started her on worm medication and gave her something to eat. I think sometimes I have to shut something off in my mind, or else I would let things like that bring me down too much. I can't dwell on them or it's too much. I can't deal with something like that every day, when little five year old girls are crying and puking from hunger and worms. I think I'm going to bring breakfast every day for my class. They need to eat, then they can learn.

Other than that, I think I'm doing okay. They listen to me relatively well. I don't think I'll ever be a kinder teacher, because it is exhausting, but it's kind of fun. I've been researching and reading and getting ideas. It's funny how much I am using from when I was in elementary school. I took a nap today at the hogar, and woke up with the kids around me. Oh, I forgot to talk about Rosa. Well on Sunday she got into a tiff with Reina and told her she'd hit her if she kept doing what she was doing, which of course she did, and so she hit her. Well, that doesn't fly by me so I spoke up and told her that you can't do that, and she needs to apologize. Rosa is more or less the matriarch of the kids when Danelia isn't around and she keeps them in line, so she didn't like being told what to do. She got defensive and so to prove her point or something, she slapped Reina again. Thank god Reina didn't hit back, but I went and told David and she got in trouble. I hated doing it too because Rosa and I are really close. The next day she was, predictably, angry with me. But what could I do? I did what I though was right. I'm sure in her mind,and because of her background, what she did was totally justified. Two days later she really did amaze me. I knew she was mature, which is one of the reasons we get along so well, but to go up to someone on your own accord and apologize and admit you were wrong takes more maturity than most 18 year olds I know. Needless to say I was so proud of her and we are fine now, but it made a really big impression on me. Well, I'm about to fall asleep on the keyboard. I better quit while I'm awake. Goodnight all :)

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Typical Gringa

I spent the night with the Castro's last night! The Castro's include Luz Mila, Eloisa, Kevin, Nayeli, Mae and Fermin and then of course their parents. They live an hour and a half hike away from the road, so after helping out at the school on Friday, I headed up to their house with Lorena (their mom) and Kevin. Kevin rode a donkey all the way up, and I hiked up the mountain on foot. I saw a monkey! Briefly, but it was there. So exciting. We got up to their house around 2 in the afternoon, and Eloisa, Kevin and Nayeli took me over to the stream by their house. They have their own private nature playground. The closest house is about an hours walk away. The stream is a series of waterfalls with little pools to swim in, with the forest on both sides. We caught bugs and walked from waterfall to waterfall, letting the water run over us. At one point we were walking along a little track, and in gringa style I completely slipped down the side into the bushes, a good 7 feet down. It was pretty awesome, and then they had to pull me back up. Luckily I didnt' get hurt and I was just cracking up but it was ridiculous. We swam a little more and then went back to the house and went to bring the cows into the gate. We walked to the highest point and I could see a panorama of the beach, La Ceiba, the mountains and all around. It's amazing. We rolled down the hill a bit and then watched a dog dig a hole. We went to investigate and we looked in and it was some sort of animal. Eventually we figured out that it was an aborted baby calf that they had buried there :(  But that is life. The horse they had was sooo skinny poor thing. He also had some open wounds and I felt so bad but you can't do all that much. I think that the Castro's treat their animals quite a bit better than most of the families I've seen. I appreciate that. They are a great set of people. Lorena is so kind and helpful, and all of the kids are playful and polite and intelligent. They have a tough lot in life though. Even as I basked in how absolutely beautiful it was, I knew that to them the beauty only means hardship. Living so far away means that work is nearly impossible to come by. During school Lorena gets up at 3 to make breakfast and the kids get up so they have time to walk down to school so the bus doesn't leave. Mae is now in the high school so he doesn’t get back until 3 and has to make the hour and a half hike back up, and then somehow use his hour left of light to do all his homework. He got home and got right to work on Friday, and when it started to get back I lent him my flashlight so he could work a little longer. He works on the weekends or when he has the opportunity to make a little money for the family. Fermin is only 2, so the family all has to pitch in to watch out for him.

That night I brought out my deck of cards and played Go Fish and a few other games. Nayeli loved B.S. I had them play Go Fish in English and it was so funny for me to sit there and have them all speaking in English, in a tiny little dirt hut on the top of a mountain in the middle of Honduras, using the light of a flashlight. It was awesome. I peaked outside a bit later and saw the fireflies flitting on the hillside. The three middle kids and I decided to make a trip outside to see La Ceiba at night, and oh how beautiful it is. The stars were out as well. I brought my camera and we spent about an hour taking pictures in the dark and rolling around and making silly faces. It was so funny and the pictures are pretty classic/ fea. This morning I slept in till about 8 and they fed me a good breakfast. We just relaxed in the house, and then went outside to search for mango's. We all climbed a tree and sang songs in the tree, while Fermin looked up at us from the bottom. We left for down the mountain at about 10 30 and made it down much faster than we made it up. Of course, at the very very end of the walk, I decided to run and race Eloisa down the hill and twisted my ankle pretty badly. I think I heard something make a snapping sound but it doesn't hurt that bad, it's mostly just stiff and swollen. I felt pretty awesome and gringa- ish. I can still walk, but they were all worried about me. I had made plans with the kids to go swimming in the river and saw no reason to change them, since I could still walk. About 15 kids joined us and we headed down the mountain to swim in my favorite spot in the river. I got to see the kids who've started the highschool. I miss them! I never get to see them anymore. We played 'king of the rock', trying to see who could stay on the rock the longest, and just swam around. I was pretty careful, but was fine relaxing and watching the sun sparkle off the river, and soak in a little sun myself. On the way back up to the road, the kids asked me if I needed help and of course I refused. Then, as I was crossing a little river, I stepped on a loose rock and totally fell into the water in front of at least 10 of them. I laughed and they laughed harder, and then they dragged me up the mountain because that definitely wasn't good for my ankle. I made it back safe and now am writing in our now full house. A group of 20 arrived tonight from Kentucky, so it should be an interesting few days.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

New Friends

The work group from Michigan whom were here left today. Towards the end both Zoe and I got especially close to them. They were so nice, and put little cards on our pillows before they left. Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday we had English classes that went relatively well. We've been going over what people are wearing, what the kids like or dislike and how to order in a restaurant. Some parts are better than others but it works. Donna, one of the women from Michigan, brought one of those giant parachutes that kids love and we played with that. On Tuesday Donna, Zoe and I went up to Geny's and brought the parachute and played with all the little ones. We brought up lunch, made sandwiches, went up to the top where there is a gorgeous view and then headed down to put our feet in the river waiting for Cristy to pick us up. It was really nice. Right after that, we went back to the Hogar, did an art project, grabbed some dinner and then spent the night moving from one house to another. It was a very busy day.

Yesterday after classes was the groundbreaking ceremony for the new Hogar de Amor. They are officially starting on the building that will become home to these kids; the first block was laid at the ceremony. We had a piñata, fresco, and then played a game of futbol on the gravel in our flip flops. It was girls vs boys, and unfortunately we lost but what can you do. David dropped us off at the new house, we showered with our cold showers (no hot water in this house :( ) and then went to the movies with the kids. It's been pretty bad lately. Only nine kids were able to go out of 22, because all of the others were being punished for some offense or other.

Today was much the same story, and the stakes were higher. The circus was in town so David was planning on taking a trip. Unfortunately, the same group of people as the night before were only able to go, plus maybe one or two more. I was kind of feeling up and down the entire day because of a few things that had happened. I've just been thinking so much about raising kids, and what is or isn't the right way to punish them/ reward them. Where is the middle line? It's so difficult, especially with the entire group of 22. There are different family dynamics, different back grounds etc. I guess I wanted so much for all of the kids to have the chance to go, but they really didn't, because they didn't know that they were going to the circus until that day. So they were already punished with no chance to redeem themselves, but I mean, what can you do? You have to keep order some how. We took the few kids who weren't punished to the river in the afternoon. That was really nice. The water was so refreshing and I had fun floating down with the current. We picked some of the jungle school  kids up on the way to go with us.

The circus started at 7 so we had some time to go home for a short bit before. I personally did not particularly  enjoy it. I kind of suspected what I might be getting myself into and I was correct. The poor animals. That was the main problem. The poor things. What must there lives be like? You just know that once they've outgrown there usefulness they are simply cast aside. The were 5 lions kept in line with a huge whip. I wonder how many times they've been hit with it. They were not happy looking either, and looked like they would prefer to eat the trainer. The elephants had the saddest look in their eye, as people lined up to take a picture on their back. It was as if all the life and will had gone out of them. There were kids working the circus also. They were in a trampoline act, and I just wondered how they were being treated. There was also an act with a woman who basically had on a bedazzled thong and was doing a contortionist act, but it seemed more as if she was bending in every possible way so that she could show her bedazzled crotch off to the world. I mean, it definitely highlighted the best part of human nature. But it was an experience. If anything, I was happy that the kids for the most part picked up on the sadness of the animals. Down here, it's definitely not the states.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Unexpected Surprises

I can't exactly remember where I left off, I suppose I could check but I'm to lazy. Did I mention when I went walking on the peer with Nelson and Denia, and a Honduran guy asked me to marry him and when I ignored him, he jumped in the ocean and swam along side it? Nelson and Denia got a kick out of it. Then when he left it was just my luck to see him walking randomly down the street again about 2 hours later. That was fun. It's been quite the week. Right now I'm relaxing at Guapos restuarant with the breeze blowing on possibly the most beautiful day I've seen since I've been here, listening to some Tracy Chapman. The sun was shining right onto the normally gray Caribbean water and turned it a light shade of aqua blue and the whole thing is simply beautiful. I'm alone which is rare, just sipping a coke and reflecting.

Zoe, a new volunteer from England arrived on Monday so I spent a few days showing her around. It has been a very laid back time at the hogar. We did two english classes and tried to get some arts and crafts together to fill time and keep the kids busy. I think sometimes Zoey and I enjoy the crafts more than the kids. On Wednesday I was contemplating going to bed and then decided I should probably check my email. Cristy had sent me an email telling me that the next day, 6 new people were coming to stay at the house. Surprise! I looked over at Zoe and told her and we both spent the next hour and a half cleaning, straitening up etc. The house actually looked pretty good when we were done. In the evening the new volunteers arrived. They are from the states, and a little older, but it's kinda nice to have a full house. They're just here for a week and are helping with the new construction site. Cristy had come with them to get them all settled and we got to talking, and she informed me kind of casually that we are moving houses. I kind of did a double take. This was starting to feel like 'home'! When I asked when, she said sometime next week! Surprise #2! The new house is going to be in a completely different neighborhood which is closer to the hogar and more secure. It's also closer to the Congrehal river. It has seven rooms so its bigger as well. At first I was pretty bummed because I like being basically in the center of the city but the more I think about it the better I think it will be. So now it's just time to get ready for the move. (An ice cream man just showed up so I can add eating delicious ice cream to my surprise list). Anyways, later that night Zoe went out to buy some groceries and when she came back she opened with "you'll never  believe what I just saw!". She told me she saw a truck full of camels and zebras and deer etc. At first I thought she was kidding, and then she added that after that came huge trucks stacked with cages and in each cage was a lion or tiger and she was right there and this caravan of animals just randomly passed her on the street. How cool would that have been?! Anyways, what it means is that the Circus is in town!! Needless to say I believe we shall hopefully be taking some of the kids to enjoy! I'm excited for sure. Surprise #3.

This weekend I had to make a choice. Denya had invited me to go to her cousins quinceniera in Tela, about an hour away, on Saturday night. Unfortunately, Saturday was also the night of the Hogar end of the month/ birthday celebration. In the end I decided to go with Denya and her family because it was something new and different and I'm really glad I did, but still feel bad for missing the fiesta. I helped Danelia make balloon decorations the night before which was fun. I'm so glad that I get along now better with Danelia. She is the director of the hogar and when I first arrived I was so intimidated by her. I still am a little bit because it's hard to tell sometimes if she's angry at you or not, but I think she approves of me now. She does such an amazing amount of work every day and I respect her so much for it. I think raising 22 kids makes her have the somewhat strict countenance that she does, which is obviously understandable. It was hard though to tell her I wasn't coming to the fiesta because I do want her approval. On Saturday morning, Glenda came to get me at the volunteer house and we went to meet Denia, Nelson and the three little one's, Daniela, Carlitos and Sylvia at the bus terminal. The seven of us hopped onto a bus for Tela and off we went. I didn't get to see all that much of Tela itself because where we were headed was a little community called La Esperanza which is inland down a dirt road. From what I did see though, it will definitely be worth a return trip to take in some beach. We got to their cousins house at about noon. The people of La Esperanza are much like those of La Herradura (the jungle) in Ceiba; poor. It was very pretty back in the town though. There are a few main streets, and it is more like a town mainly because the land is flatter and houses are closer together. There are a few main blocks of houses that the people told me were built by a Canadian group and really helped to turn the squater settlement into and actual town. From there the  houses spread out, and the uncles houses was more at the edge. It was maybe half the size of Geny's house, with the kitchen located in a small overhang area outside.The soccer field however was right next door, so it didn't take long for us to put down our bags and head up to play a little futbol. The field was all this type of red, damp clay so after about half an hour we were all filthy. The kids from the town came up to and I got to meet a multitude of cousins.  The girls took to me immediately and after soccer we just had fun walking around and talking and laughing. Glenda made a delicious lunch (all of her food is soooo good) and as always gave me a portion way bigger than she should have. After, we went on a short walk and I had no idea where we were going until I saw a few crosses in the grass. We were at the grave yard, and they led me to a certain cross and slighly marked area. Denya, Paola, Geny and Paco's mother was buried there. I truly can't imagine loosing my mother. Denya was slightly out of sorts the whole time, and I think that might have been why. Being so close to her mother brings back all the loss that she tries to bury. After clearing the grave site off we headed back and I spent a little time relaxing in the hammock and playing with Carlitos, the cutest chubby four year old, and then washed up for the fiesta. We all headed out at five to the house where it was. The decorations were gorgeous! They did so much. The family had cut palm fronds and made an arch to walk through. There were two rows of tables with little pink balloon centerpieces, a balloon arch at the end and then the DJ's area with some big speakers. Denia brought me to meet the birthday girl and she looked absolutely beautiful. She was just putting on her make up and I was worried that it was kind of akward to bring a perfect stranger in, but when she finished she stood up and smiled and said 'Kyla!' and gave me the biggest hug like she had known me for ages. That's how it was all night. The family all knew who I was and I was greeted with nothing but smiles and in a way I truly feel like I've found another family and been accepted into theirs. Brenda (the birthday girl!) had a pink dress on with a full skirt, hair perfectly curled and tied up and makeup done beautifully. She insisted right away to take a picture with me. She's so sweet and she's coming to live with Geny's family this week to study at the colegio!

At about seven everyone went to the Catholic church for the service. I had never been to a quinceniera before so it was fun to watch the senoritas (my new girl friends from earlier) all dressed up and walking down the aisle, followed by Brenda. The pastor talked for quite awhile and then we went back to the house to eat and dance. The food was delicious and everyone kept asking me if I was going to dance. Well, I never was really sure, and I wasn't on the dance floor as much as I expected. Mainly because my immediate family (Denya, Glenda, Nelson etc) didn't want to dance and it was for sure different. First of all there was probably a 3:1 guy to girl ratio and I didn't really want to dance with anyone I didn't know. Not that I wasn't asked enough. I was definitely a show piece for the town. Probably 10 different guys asked me to dance, some of them way too persistently. There was one guy who was quite drunk and about every 5 minutes he would come up to me and ask again. They really don't know the word no. But I wasn't overly bothered. It was mostly amusing and verged into annoying only a few times. I did get pulled out to dance three or four times but quickly returned. It didn't help that I didn't know the music, but it was still a good time. I mostly watched as the few couples did the punta, which is a Honduran dance, and talked to Nelson about girl troubles. At about one o'clock Denya and I went to bed. They gave us what I'm pretty sure is the nicest bed in the house and we eventually fell asleep. There was some interesting occurances with one of the drunk guys trying to find the blond girl, but I was never really worried. They would never let anything happen to me. In the morning we got up, got ready, I was again fed too much, and waited for a ride to take us down to Tela to grab the bus. During that time I just was thinking. There is such an amazing sense of family here. Families stay together, or when they are separated almost everyone goes to, for example, a cousin's quinceniera. If one of them needs help, another steps in, even if they themselves are in the middle of hard times, as they almost always are. Everyone can point out cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and proudly introduce them when you pass. To know all of one's family is almost to become part of it. It made me think what a challenge it must be for the hogar kids, which such an emphasis on blood relationships here, to live as they do, or for anyone without the support of their family. It is important in the states but I don 't think the states are anything compared to here. In a way, what else do these people have? Their family is there lifeblood, so of course they stick together. A taxi ride and bus ride later, we arrived in Ceiba and one of the uncles was waiting with his motor bike and offered to take me home. I figured why not, first time on a motorcycle sounds good, so we went zooming through the streets and now I am here, writing on the beach because it was to beautiful day to let pass by. The little surprsies are the best.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

A little overwhelming at times

My  power outage lasted two night, and was indeed caused by an unpaid bill. I spent a night at David's beautiful house and was glad I got to say hi to his wife, Anton. The next two days, instead of spending them alone, I invited Denia over, and for the second night Nelson as well. Denia is 17 and Nelson is 16, so the two of them are much more like friends which is nice sometimes. Denia and I worked on some English and she translated several kids books which was really impressive I thought. We also saw the movie Tangled in Spanish, which I thought was absolutely adorable. We had lots of time to talk, and I took the opportunity to probe into her life a little more, or as much as I thought would be okay. I like to know as much as I can about people and how they live and have lived. I learned that her grandmother had 12 kids in all, with 7 surviving. 3 of her aunts and 2 of her uncles alll live close by in the houses near the jungle school. Almost the entire family is together in a little community. Her mother died four years ago, but Denia doesn't know from what. Her father was never a part of her life. She is the oldest of four siblings, but each of her brothers and sisters (besides Paola and Paco) had a different father. She told me that is how it is most the time. With her aunts who live with her, each has kids of their own and that is how it is. They keep it a secret. Her aunt Yessenia had epilepsy, so she is unable to work. Her aunt Glenda has a one year old she needs to care for, so she can't work. They are supported by money that two of her uncles give to her grandmother, and by whatever David can supply to them. She is in school right now and at the top of her class. She has always told me she wants to be a doctor, but I asked what school she wanted to go to, she shook her head and told me that she probably won't get the chance. She will have to get a job to be the only one working in the family. She likes school, but after her two years the she has left, that's most likely it.

I've been wondering a lot what I'm here for. What am I accomplishing? I'm not really teaching English. I'm no teacher. The activities I arange for theh kids, how will they really help? I try really hard, but it's almost impossible to see any difference. It's frustrating at times, when you don't really know if your helping or hindering more. I want to be of use and measure my success in some quantifiable way, but the whole nature of my experienc makes that impossible. More than anything, I'm just hanging out with the kids. Someone told me to just soak in the experience and take as much in as I can. Maybe that's what I should focus on doing, and not put to much pressure on myself to be the perfect teacher. I should be assessing needs and trying to open a window into the lives of most of the worlds population. I need to see what they need and how to help. Is it better to offer opportuinities for a few to exit from poverty? Or to accept that most people will continue to live as they always have, and provide services to them to ease the pain of their lives? It's an interesting quesiton.

I don't know, but I'm exhausted. Today was quite tiring, and I can't really even point to what we did. Classes were in the morning, followed by lunch, nap and then assisting with computer classes. A new volunteer came yesterday, so I've been showing her around. I'm glad she's here so I'm no longer all alone. I think it's a bit overwhelming for her right now, but I hope that she will like it! She's very nice so that was obviously a relief to find out. She says she's a little overwhelmed right now with everything, and who can blame her. I often still get overwhelmed. During the day yesterday we didn't have classes because I was helping distribute clothes and take siszes for the new uniforms for the kids. Each kid gets one set that they have to wash every night and let dry for the next day. I can't even imagine having to wash my clothes everyday and wear the same thing day in and day out. In the afternoon I did a miny lesson with about 8 of the older Hogar kids. It was a million times easier that teaching an entire class. I think I've decided that I like working with individuals a lo more than large groups, but the second is very necessary, because if they don't have anything to do, then they get in trouble. I am so glad I don't have to be in charge of discipline. Danelia and the tias have the hardest job in the world. 24 hours a day, being a mother for 22 kids who all have extremely dark or violent backrounds. They must mold them into people who can take care of themselves. I can't but help think about back home, and the difficulty that people have with one or two kids. It's crazy. I want to write about life at the hogar but am too tired to tonight, maybe soon. good night all

Thursday, January 20, 2011

A different lens

Everyone has a diffierent lens to look at the world. Some people see it as a place of luxury and fun where they have been put on top to enjoy it's pleasures. Others see it as somewhere dangerous where everyone and everything is out to get them. Some see it as only a passing phase, a walk to trudge through until the promise on the other side arrives. There are millions of lenses. My lens is that of injustice and unfairness. The more I look, the more dissatisfied I become. And to a point, the more helpless I feel. We live on a planet where the richest 20% of people account for 3/4 of the worlds income. That leaves 80% living on only 1/4 of all the wealth in the world. Thousands of kids whose lives should just be beginning, die from disease and neglect. I see this and it makes me so frustrated. I want everyone to have the childhood I did, and the access to resources that I do. It's so difficult to face the facts that it will never happen. I try to turn myself around and look at what I can do to help, and I am overwhelmed. There is too much unfairness, and the problems are too big. There are millions of kids lacking education, millions of people dying of treatable diseases, simply too many people. How can anyone truly make a difference? What is the best way to approach the problems that are everywhere? Is it political, to send change from above? Is that the fastest way to change things? Or is it better to educate individuals so that they can in turn educate others? But that method is so much slower and never fool proof, and requires so much money and resources. Education is such a fickle thing. I can see it here. The kids have a lot to gain from being able to read and write and do math, but how many of them are actually going to leave their homes and the places they were raised to find a job that will make them more money? How many boys are still going to leave school after 6th grade to work, grow up a laborer and have trouble feeding their families? How many girls are still going to get pregnant too soon and have a newborn baby to care for? Some people may say that it's okay that they live how they always have, because it is a simpler life and they are accustomed to it, but they all know that there is an easier life out there, where they don't have to watch their children die because they can't get medical care, or work day in and day out to haul wood and water to their dirt houses in the mountains. I want to give these kids the world, but I don't even know how to do that with they few that I see everyday. I feel stretched by limited supplies when I want to do a craft. I feel constricted by a lack of people to help each kid with their work. Yet what they are getting is better than what they would have without any help. I just feel so much that it's not enough. I think of how some kids in the states are doted on from the moment they are born, who have mothers who stay home just to stimulate their minds and help them with their work. How are these kids ever going to compete. And even if they do, what about all the thousands of others who are lacking the same thing? The world mandates that someone has to be the laborers, and it's only the luck of the draw to say which those are.

It's overwhelming. I open my mind and all of this comes crashing in, so I almost need to narrow it to avoid the paralaysis that these thoughts cause. I need to act somehow, and do something. I need to set little goals that are achievable. Help Enis learn long division, work with Daniel so that he can learn more English. These things will help. These things will give them a foundaiton. That's all we can do. We can't completely control anyones life. We can just give them a base to work off. I wish I could divert the path of wealth in the world but obviously that doesn't happen.

Things would be so much easier if I could just ignore all the problems and injustices I see, and live my life out comfortably within the protection of my american shell. I feel like this is appropriate -"The world is full of miserable places. One way of living comfortably is not to think about them or, when you do, to send money." -Tracy Kidder. I'm not saying I would forget everything, but I could work at my life and my job, take trips to places and send money where needed. Which is, of course, everywhere. I would be happy, with a family of my own and a life of probable comfort. I've been reading too many books about people who make a difference. Greg Mortenson from "Three Cups of Tea" who devoted his life to building schools in pakistan. Paul Farmer from "Mountains beyond Mountains" who created a medical clinic in Haiti, and then convinced the world to treat impoverished people with second line TB drugs. I want to help and work towards something so worthy, but I feel like I'm not brave enough or good enough. I don't have the capability, and I would be scared to go without the security of a traditional job. I couldn't pack everything up the way they do. Where am I going to go? What am I going to do? I frankly have no idea. So for now, it's better that I focus on the small.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpYeekQkAdc

It's always something

I am officially back in Honduras! Safe and sound. I had a few mishaps getting here but all turned out well. At this moment however the volunteer house has no power. I am relatively sure that the company cut the power, which makes me unsure if Cristy paid the bill.... I would much rather have satisfaction in the knowledge that the entire neighborhood is out, which would at least allow me to hope that it will come back on, but no- my neighbors house is glowing like a Christmas tree. Awesome. So I have no access to Internet for the night, no tv, and no one to keep me company. I guess I'll read. Which I am more than happy to do. I also still don't have gas so I can't cook anything, and my plan to use the microwave was obviously foiled. Looks like its peanut butter for dinner. I am bummed though that the milk and veggies I just bought will probably spoil. Looks like peanut butter for the morning too.

My last days in Costa Rica were very enjoyable. I didn't make it out to the beach, but we went to a third volcano called the Poas and I could see inside the crater perfectly. It was super neat because the pool in the crater was spewing steam. I kept imagining the column of lava that lays underneath it. Kinda exciting. On my last day I had some time to read and relax, drive up to a super high point above the central valley where there were picture perfect views of the city and cow pastures and everything, ate some amazing food and then headed to the airport. In a summery, my time in Costa Rica consisted of Rainbows, Waterfalls and Volcanoes. I even had a rainbow to send me off as I drove towards the airport. At the entrance I tried to pay my exit fee with my card, but it was denied. I was thinking, shoot the company cut it off because I didn't tell them I was going to Costa Rica! Jorge was so nice and paid it for me, and then I went into the airport to wait, because I was a tad bit early. I checked my account and  there was exactly $2.10 in my account. No wonder it was rejected. 4 days before I had received an email saying that my mom transferred funds, so I assumed they were in my account, but as it turns out it takes three days to process and the past three days had been a weekend and then a holiday. At this point I got a little worried, because in my wallet I had about $3.00 worth of Lempiras, so in all $5.10 to my name. ( feel free to check my math). When you are traveling that is never a good thing, and as it turned out it wasn't. My trip back to Honduras was probably the worst planned travel leg I have ever made. I didn't bring a phone that would work in Honduras, I didn't have my keys, I didn't have the phone numbers of people I would need stashed somewhere, and I was operating on a single email that said they would get someone to pick me up at the airport at nine at night when my flight got in, but never confirmed who. So when I got into San Pedro Sula it really shouldn't have been a surprise that no one was there to pick me up. I wandered around a little bit, fished for phone numbers, and then tried to figure out what to do. Normally I wouldn't have had a problem, because I could take a taxi and get a hotel for the night, but since I had no money that wasn't a choice. I tried to call Cristy (who is on a mission and therefore unavailable- which also doesn't help my power outage problem) but that didn't work. Lenner didn't answer either. So I stood around waiting for something to present itself. Normally I wouldn't consider that the best strategy, but as it turned out it worked. My fuzzy plan was to try to find a cab with the three dollars I had to take me to the Hilton where I could either convince them to rent me a room and let me pay in the morning when my mom transferred funds, or have them help me get a hold of Lenner. When everyone was clearing out someone came up to me and said that I looked lost. Well, I kind of was. He was from New York and had his whole family there, and was waiting for an uncle to get off the plane. He offered to help and recommend a hotel, so I went over to see what his family recommended. They passed my test of whether I should trust them because first it was a family, second they were obviously waiting for someone, and third I had a gut feeling it was okay. So when they offered to give me a ride to the Hilton I figured it was safer then taking a random taxi, which I wasn't even sure I could secure with 3 dollars. To me, they were basically a God send. Someone was watching out for me that night and an opportunity somehow presented itself. They let me use a phone where I got ahold of Nancy and told her I was headed to the Hilton. She said she would call Lenner, and to call when I got to the hotel. I was thinking she would pick me up from there. The family turned out to be Chicken farmers, and were very kind and funny. They dropped me off and I went in to see what would happen next. I was ready to bargain for them to let me stay the night, but Lenner had already set up a room for me. They asked my name, handed me a key and I went right up. Once there I could relax a little. Things had turned out almost as good as they could have. I'm not saying that I'm proud of planning things as I did, but it worked. My next step was to get a hold of my mom. I had no money to make a phone call, and of course the Internet cost money. I went downstairs and eventually convinced the guy to let me use  the hotel computer. Facebook is very much my friend. The chat wasn't working, but I sent a little post out for someone to help me contact my mom or sister, got two responses in a minute, my sister messaged me and then she told my mom to sort out the money issue. She deposited the money in the morning, I went to the atm, grabbed a cab to the bus station and hopped right on. Finally.

Since I didn't have keys, I went over to the hogar first. Oh my gosh it is good to be back. Hahah as I walked up to the gate, Carlos ran up and screamed out "es Kyla es Kyla!!!!". A huge smile lit my face, and I was impatient for them to unlock the gate. I gave lots of hugs to the 6 kids who were there, because the rest were on an outing. Later I played basketball with Carlos, and Littlest Petshop with Paola. After about 3 hours the rest arrived and Rosa gave me a huge hug jumping up and down. Haha hugs for everyone, and then I settled back in to normality. I delivered Natalie's letters to Gerson, and he kept her picture of her family close and out of harm. He told me that he missed his Madrina a lot, and Ethan also. All the kids related to me how they ate tamales for Ethan's going away party. Just thinking about it makes me sad. It's so strange to be in the house alone! Especially without light hehe. I was so tired when I got back yesterday which made me semi grumpy. I was feeling funny and maybe missed my family a tiny bit. But I skyped my sister last night and after that, the feeling passed, coupled with watching Mama Mia. Its very difficult to be sad while watching that. And today I feel much myself again, and happy to be here.

Saturday, January 15, 2011

It rains in the rain forest

I took a road trip to see a volcano! We left on Thursday morning to visit Volcano Arenal, which is the second most active volcano in the world. Unlike most volcano's, it is supposedly a perfect cone, and during the day when it's clear you can see smoke rising from it, and at night you can even see the lava. Supposedly. I never technically got to see it unfortunately, because as I found out it rains in the rain forest. A lot. We stayed in a nice hotel that advertises volcano views, and it never cleared up. It was a slight bummer but I didn't mind all that much. I still had a really fun time because the country is beautiful. It just means I'll have to come back sometime. To get there it was about a 5 hour drive. We left early because of the traffic from Palmares, which is the second largest beer festival in the world, but still hit plenty of the traffic. I enjoyed the drive because the country is beautiful, and eventually we just drove on a one lane, windy rode that rose up into the cloud bank. After about 3 hours, I saw signs on the road for a nutella and banana crepe, so of course I had to pull over. I drove down a windy dirt path for about 3 miles and arrived at a hotel. I got a coffee and crepe and it was delicious. On our way down there was a sign that pointed to a waterfall, so we decided to walk over and see what it looked like. We were thinking it would be around the corner but it turned out to be about a mile hike down a super steep, muddy slope. I was wearing jeans and flip flops, and ended up taking my flip flops off, and just walking down barefoot, squishing my toes in the mud. It was so pretty and fun and the waterfall, when we finally arrived, was beautiful. It was an adventure, though my feet were quite gross at the end of it. Nothing a little water can't cure. Back up was a little more challenging, but it was all good fun.

We got to the hotel mid afternoon and then went to check out some hot springs. The hot springs ended up being at a really, really nice resort so they were unlike one's I've been to before. There were different pools and even a water slide. It was raining for most of the time too so the contrast was nice. They sold two day passes so the next day we went back at night which was even cooler. It wasn't raining but you could here the rain forest noises, and I even got to see a few stars through a small break in the clouds. To start off the second day we went to a place called the hanging bridges. It was probably another 10 miles up the road, and it passed by this beautiful lake that supposedly has perfect views of the volcano, but the view of the fog bank was nice as well- kinda ha. The hanging bridges was a two mile walk through the rain forest, over several suspended bridges. And boy did it rain, but it is amazing how much the canopy is like a big umbrella. The rain mutes so many noises, and puts a lot of the animals asleep but it is also very peaceful. After I had this delicious drink called agua dulce which i love and went to the supermarket to buy some to bring back with me.

We were going to visit another waterfall but Jorge doesn't have the best sense of direction. We turned down the incorrect dirt road and didn't realize it for about 5 miles. It was ok though, and raining anyway. I felt like such a nerd, because I totally ended up talking about my Theory of Knowledge class and the 'ways of knowing'. It was pretty funny but I've always been good about choosing friends who talk about the same type of stuff. The more I traveled through Costa Rica, the more I saw how developed and progressive it was. There are people with money here, both foreigners and Costa Ricans. I'm sure there are poor areas of Costa Rica, but as a tourist I did not pass through them. I also noticed that Costa Rica is much more 'white' than Honduras or other areas. Even native Costa Rican's have whiter skin, not including the foreigners that live here. I don't know if it is strange to notice such things or not. That would make sense though looking at its history, because when the Europeans colonized central america, there was a very small native influence in the area, allowing almost complete European colonization. So far I've enjoyed my stay, though I am missing the kids! It'll be good to be back soon :)

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Costa Rican Rainbows

I am safe in Costa Rica! My friend from a college meeting, Jorge, came to pick me up and we headed back to his house. I was getting nervous in the air plane, thinking what if he didn't come! What was I going to do? But all went according to plan. We went to his grandfathers house first to pick up the car that I would be driving around for the rest of the trip. Since he doesn't have his licence yet, I am the primary driver. The car of course has to be a very nice car which is also stick shift. I am so scared something will happen to it while I'm driving. Especially getting used to Costa Rican driving (which is much better than Honduran, thank god, but still a challenge). I made it up the enormous hill where he lives, and when I stepped out I looked at the view and it was absolutely incredible. From his house you can see all of San Jose, and at that moment a perfect rainbow was arched over the city. The houses stretched in both directions, and the clouds clumped in random places as the sun streamed down. It was so pretty. At night all of the lights glitter far below you. Jorge's family is very nice and are taking very good care of me. I appreciate their hospitality so much. We just relaxed for the rest of the day because I was exhausted from my 14 hour plane ride (which went from LA to New York, down to Orlando and then finally Costa Rica).

This morning I slept in, and then Jorge and I headed over to the Volcano Irazu. I got go take another try at driving, this time for about 40 minutes, and I think I'm getting the hang of it. The one way streets are slightly confusing but GPS is an amazing navigation system. I drove up the mountain and half way up we entered a cloud. It seemed like it was misting but really it was just the water from the cloud hitting the windshield. When we got to the top, we were still in the cloud and couldn't see anything. I had resigned myself to not being able to see the Volcano, but we got out to walk along the edge so at least I could say I had been to the top, even though we couldn't see. The cloud was so dense, but I was the ash fields at my feet and enjoyed the freezing air that wrapped me up in it. We kept walking along the border fence just to see how far it went, when suddenly all of the clouds parted and I could see perfectly into the crater. I was on the left side of the crater and as I looked down, a rainbow formed right over the pool inside the Volcano's crater. The water was a brilliant turquoise blue, about 800 meters down. To the left was a flat area with ash. It was beautiful. I could look strait out and see the tops of the clouds and even watch the next cloud flying towards me, reminding me of the dark cloud from James and the Giant Peach. It would engulf us for five minutes, and then pass and things would again be clear. We hiked to the highest point where supposedly on clear days you can see both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans, and though we could see neither it was still a pretty view of the clouds all around. We stopped for lunch on the way down and as we were driving away, the most amazing, perfect double rainbow I have ever seen appeared right behind us. Since I was driving, I could only see it from my mirrors but it was amazing. I attempted to pull over but decided against it. It stretched all the way across in two solid beautiful rows. Someone is smiling at me. :)